Dare to be WILD

Chapter 4- Whole

I can hear voices shouting around me, I have got myself lost in a pine forest. The Evergreens are standing tall and proud and I am shrouded in darkness.

I fear they will find me. Fear what they will do. I run around in a large circle making it hard for them to follow my scent. This is something I saw in a nature movie once and I climb the tallest tree I can find.

I fall a few times but manage to get my grip on the trunk and haul myself up the branches one by one. By the time I am high enough and I am sure they won’t find me, my hands are bruised bloodied and blistered. I set with my back against the trunk on a branch that is just big enough for me.

I silently cry to myself as I take in what’s just happened.

I list them of one by one as if it will help me understand.

1.       My mother was a werewolf.

2.       My mother is dead

3.       Two other werewolves killed her

4.       They wanted me alive.

I run through everything step by step. Why didn’t they just kill me? And who are they? Why didn’t my mum ever tell me what she was?

Wait, does that mean I am a werewolf?

I have never felt the need to howl at the moon or transform so maybe not.

I think a minute to myself as the tears silently drip of my chin.

Is this why my Dad never came home? I shiver in the cold and curl up as much as I can without falling of the branch.

I hear footsteps close by and wolves are howling, there’s more then two now. It looks like a whole pack.  I freeze in fear as I see two smaller younger wolves stop and sniff the ground around the tree one charges off probably finding my scent. But the other wolf with light brown fur and deep sad eyes looks up, I almost recognise her but I can’t place where. The air catches in my chest when I notice that she has seen me. She howls and runs off leading the others away from me.

Did she save me?

The night air is freezing, but I am still to scared to come down. I hug myself as tightly as possible to keep warm. But it’s no good, I feel my teeth chattering and my bones ache.

I feel myself drifting off into an unforgiving sleep. I fear that by morning comes I will not wake. But sleep is my only comfort now. My eyes close and I drift in and out of dream land, I hope for the first time ever, that I do not move in my sleep otherwise it is a very long fall.

I hear someone calling in the darkness I only slept a couple of hours “Tracys' Daughter!” I hear a girls voice shout.

I see them coming closer but I am to cold to shout out. I watch helplessly as she walks past my tree I am almost frozen in my spot.

“We are here to help.” The girl calls in a loud whisper.

I don’t know if I can trust her, I try to turn my body to get a better look at her face. And before I no it. I have fallen, I fell the wind rush in my lungs and my face my nose begins to sting but there was no thud, no pain. Instead there is an incredible warmth. Like electricity moving through my veins, “is this death?” I ask smiling to myself. Death is warm. Death is happy and Safe.

I feel my world collapse around me my sadness forgotten. I like death, its peaceful.

You’re not dead a voice spat at me, you owe me a lifetime it hisses.

Who are you? I ask, why am I arguing with myself my head hurts and my bones ache.

I am the better part of you, your wolf, not that we have ever had the chance to meet, you locked me away  the voice is angry and hurt.

I promise I didn’t please who are you I can help

You can not change the past, only the future, we have a bond we need to work on it normally takes years but no you only have mere weeks if we are lucky so its time to do some soul searching.

I take a deep breath ready to search my soul but instead a beautiful wolf is before my eyes pacing in the darkness of my mind.

I am you she says I will protect us if you trust me.  We have been apart for 12 years now that’s a long time. You are lucky I didn’t give in and just become a shadow.  She is pacing furiously growling her words at me.

I’m sorry. I didn’t know I had my own wolf. How do I call on you? To set you free? We can be one I promise.  The urgency of my need for her hits hard my heart is aching and I know she is what can save me, making me stronger.

Trust me she says softly we have faced a lot of loss together. But now we have a mate she says excitedly you need to release me to be what he deserves of us, he will love us forever. He will mend or hearts and makes us stronger. Trust me, accept me and we will be one.  She is almost pleading I see my wolf is hurt. How have I never met her. How is it we have been together this whole time but she hasn’t come forth.  I have so many unanswered questions.

I trust and accept you. I say defiantly.

The beautiful golden wolf leaps at me her eyes are blue and flooded with sadness. I think we are about to collide so I brace myself for the fall but instead but before we connect she smashes against my body turning into this beautiful mist that surrounds me and rests on my skin. Its beautiful I thought looking at the glimmering dust on my arms. Then the pain begins.

I scream and thrash as every bone in my body is broken. I cry out for help. Begging it to stop.  I feel warm hands hold me down but its no good the pain is to much.

The next thing I know I hear heavy panting.  What has happened? what have I become?

Whole the voice replies proudly.