Chapter 20: Someone Covering my Eyes
1120 Words
Chapter 20: Someone Covering my Eyes
“Wow!” I exclaimed. I was truly stunned when Leslie went home one late evening. I am now used to her habit of going home late since she has to attend practices for her play.
“Yep, I know, I know.”
“Leslie your hair,” I fondled on her now wavy white hair which was like threads of silk, smooth and shiny.
“Do you like it?” Leslie asked like she was a kindergarten showing her work to the teacher.
“Like it? I love it! You look amazing!”
“Really? Oh thank you! This is for my role. I had to dye my hair white.”
“For your role? What's your role, an old lady?”
Leslie laughed almost like condescendingly. “No Elois, I'm a depressed teenager.”
“Oh” I said instantaneously. I covered the scar on my wrist. Up to this time, Leslie doesn't know or even Jasper about my ugly depression. I don't want them to be involved. “What does white hair have to do with being depressed?”
“The writer said it is the way how my role would subtly beg for the attention of others since it is eye catching, isn't it? And also it's a symbol to show how different her head is to other roles with only black hair.”
I nodded to make her think that I understand, that it completely makes sense. But is that really a depressed girl would act? Is that how I act?
“Hey you know what, as your roommate, I have to give you the privilege to listen to the prologue to my play. Is that cool to you?”
“Of course,” I tried to smile.
“Okay here it goes,” Leslie cleared her throat.
There is someone covering my eyes,
he covers it like in those romantic movies.
I asked plenty of times who he is
Until finally he names himself as depression
He said he would never leave me
Unlike the people that used to hang with me
He said he’ll hang with me
How do I see? You ask,
Well, he describes to me everything
And then I could see realistic images,
He edits it, filters it,
As much as he could, he says
Astounding isn’t it?
He tells me that the world is ugly,
That’s why he needs to cover my eyes
That the world is only filled with people,
unable to see just like me
It’s blue and gray and plain
Sometimes nothing at all
And now I’m actually terrified
I’m scared and trembling that one day I might see
And sometimes I ask him, why the world had to change
Because before he covered my eyes,
I remembered that it’s colorful as a rainbow,
Like all things are made of it,
Since light sheds on everything
From the burning star up above
And the people are beautiful with their shiny white smile
Smiles that I used to wear
And I ask him, how my friends were doing
My parents, my loved ones
They got tired and left me,
Well that’s what he says anyway
But in the dark, when he doesn’t talk to me
When he doesn’t paint the world to me,
Which practically happen rarely this time,
I can hear their voices, telling me
to open my eyes
Leslie had delivered the lines with emotions so true and heartfelt that I clenched my fist instinctively. I'm not offended but I'm vulnerable right now. What Leslie said opened the gates of my walls and now it is lurking, ready to attack me any second now, ready to take me away once again. It frightens me that the monster inside my head is perfectly described by the poem of Leslie. It frightens me more than it should.
“Elois, are you alright?”
“Huh? Yeah.”
“Hey there's something you're not telling me.” Leslie hovered around me. I felt my gut turned upside down. She's onto me? How could she tell? Diversion. I need a diversion.
“Jasper, asked me on a date,” I confessed. Leslie’s eyes widen and her mouth opened stiffly until finally it drew a smile. I chose to share this info over my case of depression. It's the last thing I wanted her to know about me.
“What? Oh my god!” she finally managed to blurt out.
“Yeah,”
“So when is your date? I'm so happy for the both of you.”
“Yeah about that,” I shifted across the room to avoid her gaze.
“What? You declined?” Leslie said incredulously.
I bit my lip sternly. I waited for a second to answer. “I, um, I said I have to think first,”
“But why? I thought you like him. Remember? You told me that you like him.”
“Yeah I did, but that is not the only thing that should be considered. There are other things.”
“Like what, Elois?”
Leslie wouldn’t understand. How can somebody understand that I have a depression and oh a guy that claims to be my husband from the future.
“Leslie, are we really having this conversation?”
Leslie instantly frowned at me then held my hand. “I just want you and my brother to be like together. You know, like a fan rooting for the love team to finally be one. You two are my favorite persons. If this would make you happy, why would you stop yourself for being one. And if you and Jasper would be together, I know that you would take care of him for me, okay?”
I was shocked and felt a lump on my throat. Leslie thought of that to me? I smiled and reconsidered my thoughts. Maybe she could understand me. Maybe she would.
“Listen Elois, I had a long day. I’m gonna hug my one true love now which is my bed.” she said accompanied after with a long yawn. I giggled and nodded to her.
Minutes later, I could hear Leslie snoring. Usually at this time of the night, I would meet Nikolas at the POW bookstore so when I was about to open the door, I saw a message slipped inside our room. “To Elois,” the message says.
“Please do not go with a date with Jasper. I’m begging you not to.”
Your loving husband,
Nikolas
- Writer
