The Lost Luna

Chapter 12 - Nightmares or visions

***TRIGGER WARNING***

***Amber's POV***

"F*ck baby, you're so wet for me. I wonder what you taste like?" I felt a dry, callus finger roughly shoved in and out of me. A whimper escapes my mouth. I feel like throwing up about the idea of someone other than my mate touching me.

"Get off of me!! STOP TOUCHING ME!" I began violently thrashing about, kicking, trying to get him away from me. Suddenly, I felt a stinging, burning pain in my cheek. Did he just slap me?

"You ungrateful little b*tch! It seems that you need to be taught a lesson." I didn't need to see his face to know he had a smirk on his face. The sound of a belt unbuckling fills the room, causing me to freeze.

I woke up covered in sweat, shaking. It had all been a dream, but it felt so real. It's then that I realize that I'm in someone's bed. The sound of light snores coming from outside the room confirms that I'm not alone. I silently slip out of bed and peek outside the door, only to see Ryder sleeping on a sofa that he can barely fit on. A wave of guilt washes over me as I look at him. He's sleeping on the small couch for me. I guess after the trauma from being kidnapped and almost r***d, he didn't want to risk triggering me. A small smile made its way onto my face.

"How long do you plan on watching me sleep?" I practically jumped out of my skin hearing his voice. s**t, was he awake this entire time?

"Um... uh, why are you awake?" Hopefully, he won't notice that I'm trying to change the subject.

"I woke up because I felt you were having a nightmare." He said this in a matter-of-fact manner. My mind began to wonder how he knew that?

"How? How do you know I was having a nightmare? Was I making too much noise in my sleep?" I instantly felt a pang of guilt. Was I keeping him up? The last thing I wanted to do was keep him up at night.

"Amber, we're mates. I'm able to feel it when you're upset. Because we haven't completed the mating process, I can't feel your emotions as strong." All of this information made my head hurt.

"If that's the case, why can't I feel your emotions?" While saying this, I placed my hands on my hips. Hopefully, he'll know that I'm being serious by doing this. Everyone knows it's a sign of disrespect to look an alpha in the eyes, but today I don't give a sh*t. I want someone to tell me the truth. I refuse to back down. Although my wolf was scared and had her tail tucked, I was determined to stand my ground. Ryder released a deep growl that made me flinch, and fear started flowing through my veins. I show my neck in submission. D*mnit! My attempt at being brave failed. I heard what sounded like shuffling before I knew it. Ryder was standing in front of me.

"Amber, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that. It was instinctual. Any alpha would react like that." Was he seriously trying just to sweep it under the rug like it was nothing? I inwardly rolled my eyes, unbelievable.

"Oh, so any alpha would do that to their mate? Unbelievable." I turned to leave the room, but he stood, blocking my way. "Do you mind getting out of my way?" I don't know why I was suddenly so angry with him until I remembered what she said to me.

Flashback

"It's okay for you to call me Blair, but soon you'll need to call me luna. Oh, you didn't know? I'm pregnant with the future alpha's baby."

End of flashback

I stopped fighting with him and looked up at his face. Part of me wanted to forget what that b*tch said, but I wouldn't allow myself to. "Are you even sure that we're mates? Because last I heard was that you have a pup on the way." My vision blurred as tears welled up in my eyes. Using the back of my hands, I wipe some tears off and start heading for the door. Before I can touch the doorknob, I'm pulled into Ryder's chest, and he holds me firmly against him. "How could you?! Now I look like a fool for thinking my mate cared enough to wait for me!" My body was shaking with rage that I didn't know I was holding in.

"SERIOUSLY?! I'm 25 years old, Amber. I hadn't found my mate, so I found someone to satisfy my needs." His voice was low towards the end of the sentence. Each word he said felt like he was stabbing me in the heart. It hurt worse than when Blair stabbed me.

"That's your excuse for getting some w***e pregnant?" I scuffed. "I don't understand why the moon goddess gave me a mate that could not wait for me." I shouldn't have said that. The look on Ryder's face pained me. I took it too far by saying that. He lets go over me and walks out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. I finally allow myself to break down and cry. There were so many thoughts running through my mind, and only one of them was haunting me. Is he going to reject me? What's the point of getting attached to him when he clearly cares for her more if he's willing to get her pregnant? I need to save myself from the heartache and reject him.

***Ryder's POV***

As soon as I told her I used Blair just for pleasure, I instantly regretted it. Seeing the pain in her eyes practically broke me. I felt her body relax as she ended her assault on my chest.

"That's your excuse for getting some w***e pregnant? I don't understand why the moon goddess gave me a mate that could not wait for me." Did she really say that? Before I could react out of anger, I stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind me. Who f*cking told Amber that s**t?! "Ryder, you overreacted. Now she's going to believe it's true." My wolf sounded irritated with me. I don't blame him since I was acting like an i***t. F*ck I needed to explain everything to Amber before it's too late. When I get back to my room, I find Amber curled up in a ball. Based on her breathing, I knew she wasn't asleep. "Amber, can we talk? Blair isn't pregnant with my child. Babies of alpha blood grow faster than typical pregnancies. The doctor was able to test and find out that the baby is not of alpha blood." I had to plead my case with her. I haven't known her that long, but I already know I don't want anyone else except for her. I saw her stir a little before she sat up in the bed.

"Ryder......" Her voice was faint, barely above a whisper. "I, Amber Williams, reject you, Ryder Black, as my mate and future alpha."