Against the Tides

CHAPTER 12

“Diba ang pogi niya!” naiinis na sabi ni Jas.

After some inis with Elias, I really decided to go to Jas. But I messaged Mama and told her I would leave without saying goodbye because Jas has something important to talk about. Mukhang busy pa siya kasi wala pang reply ever since I arrived here.

“ Yes…but…” hindi ko pa natatapos ang sasabihin ko ng batuhin niya ang unan sa pader.

“ Oo na! I know, I know. I’m not hurt…more on disappointed? Kasi I expected na not all men naman, diba? Kasi we’re not judgmental…but in the end, naranasan ko!” Naiinis na ipinaliwanag ni Jas kasama ang sabunot ng buhok.

“ They even say, diba? Don’t expect too much, it might lead to unexpected things. And…ayan.” She just sighed and nodded.

“ Ibig sabihin it’s a big sign na I should not do boyfriend stuff. I actually I asked a sign from Him, and siguro eto na ang sagot.” I rolled my eyes.

“ Kung di mo po na-gets ang sign, you’re the most stupid person I know.”

“ Anyway, done with me. How about you? You don’t have a boyfriend that lasts really long.”

Eto naman, the reason why I’m here is for her, and also to escape Elias’ shittiness. Tapos eto, sakin mapupunta ang topic?

“ I don’t really feel it yet, so I wouldn’t push it.”

I’ve had boyfriends, pero di naman sobrang dami. Dalawa lang, I guess. The other one is I thought was my first love and everything. Tumagal kami, sobrang toxic. Pero I was blinded by my love; I didn’t see the signs of him being a dickhead. Inabot din kami ng ilang taon sa totoo lang. And I used to be proud; he was my high school boyfriend. But when I realized the shittiness and such, nakakainis na na-waste ko ang high school memories ko sa isang dickhead na tao.

I’m traumatized in many ways because he is so toxic. I don’t know if I have moved on from that trauma, but I know to my ex, I have long forgotten it and that I really moved on. I’m happy and content.

As for the second one, I was forced into it. It’s frustrating. I feel so soft seeing him sad after being rejected that I immediately changed my mind. Right? I'm so crazy. But honestly, among all the guys I’ve met, he has the most green flags. Yet, I left him, sadly.

As for the others, there were simple relationships and those who tried to court me. I had the worst suitor who was so annoying; he kept showing off what he could do for me and even made promises about how he could handle me. I already warned him that I’m not a complete person yet, that I’m still shattered into pieces. He even said he would be the one to make me whole.

And what did that lead to? I opened up and vented about small things in my life, and he immediately gave up, saying that I should come to him once I’m okay. I was really mad at him. I didn’t just warn him once about my situation; I gave him more than 20 warnings and rejected him. But he kept pushing, even though I was avoiding and distancing myself from him. Siya ang nag-iinsist na kayang kaya niya ko kahit ano pang rant, tapos mababaw na rant lang sumuko na at ako pa ang sinisisi?

Man, such crap.

“Ay, naalala mo na naman tuloy ang past mo.” Tinignan ko ng masama si Jas ng malakas.

“I came here for you, and now you're turning the tables, siraulo.” Hinampas ko siya ng unan.

“Anyways, where have you been and bakit naka-dress ka?”

“Nagsimba kami.”

“Kasama si Elias?” she teased.

“Oo.” Nanlaki ang mata niya at halatang nabigla sa sinabi ko.

“Wait, what? He attended a mass? Woah…that’s a big thumbs up. Is he serious naman o baka napilitan lang sumama?”

Nanliit ang mata kong tinignan siya. Paiba-iba ng topic talaga 'to.

“Believe it or not, he really is serious. He listens very well.” I whispered and remembered the scene from earlier, making my heart beat fast.

I still couldn’t believe it kasi he really looks like an ass.

“See, he has a good side naman. Wag mo kasing masyadong awayin.” Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay sa sinabi niya. Ako? Wag ko masyadong awayin?

“It’s not my fault that he pissed me off. As in, Jas. Maliit na bagay na pang-bata pinag-aawayan na namin.” I sighed.

“I really want to be close to him kasi, as a niece and uncle, ang age gap namin is not that far. He could also be like a brother to me, but s**t. Napakakitid ng utak niya…gusto ko siyang intindihin at makisama sa kanya kasi I want to be close to him…pero damn, nagkakapikunan lang kami.”

I grew up as an only child, and one of my dreams is to have a close relative of mine, especially near my age. Pero kabaliktaran ang nangyayari sa amin ni Elias. Parang nagiging immature ako out of nowhere kapag andiyan siya…especially kapag nagkakapikunan na kami.

Parang wala akong common sense, and my mind is small as f**k.

“Well, at least he shows his real colors to you, kesa naman ang bait-bait, yun pala gago.”

“Honestly, I feel like kahit pinapakita niya ang side niya na 'yun, it's not even half of his real self.”

“Try to be nice to him. Baka sinusubukan ka lang niya.” She winked, which made me frown.

Before nightfall, I decided to call my driver. At first, I thought it was Elias. Kasi parang mushroom 'yun, basta nalang nasulpot. But while in the car, I thought of what Jas said. What if I tried to be nicer to him?

Like I haven’t tried yet, kasi ang bilis maubos ng pasensya ko when it comes to him. I don’t remember being nice to him the whole day.

When I reached home, hindi ko nakita sila Mama and Dad sa sala. But I had already messaged her, and until now, walang reply. So, I just went to my room, cleaned myself, and nagpalit ng pang-patulog. Kasi ilang oras nalang din naman, matutulog na rin ako.

I went to the kitchen to find some buldak kasi I suddenly craved it. When I found one, I did my thing. Pagtapos, ay naghain ako para sa sarili ko when I saw Elias walking towards me.

Calm, self.

He stopped and sat beside me. Before I took a bite of my buldak, I looked at him. I was about to smile when I saw how handsome my uncle is. Our genes are really good. Nakapangbahay lang niya pero para siyang model at isang kilalang brand ang suot-suot niya, showing how strong his appeal is. Ang buhok niyang magulo at mga mata niya na mapang-asar.

I wanted to frown pero... wala naman masamang mag-try?

“Gusto mo?” I asked in my normal soft voice.

Biglang nanlaki ang mga mata niya saglit bago dahan-dahang ngumisi at umiling.

“Damn, girl.”