Chapter 29
926 Words
Vivian’s PoV
He didn't come back.
After that night, after he'd held my face in his hands and told me he didn't care about my father, he just... didn't come back.
I told myself it was fine. I told myself he was busy with the investigation. I told myself that maybe this was better. That maybe distance would help him think clearly.
But i was lying to myself.
Through the bond, I could feel him. Could feel the way he was fighting. Could feel the internal war that was tearing him apart.
One moment, the bond would rise with need. With desire. With the absolute certainty that he wanted to be with me.
The next moment, it would go quiet and cold. Like he was actively suppressing the connection.
It was agony.
Freya came to check on me on the second day.
She took one look at my face and knew immediately what had happened.
"He's pulling back," she said.
"Yes."
"Because of the bond," she continued. It wasn't a question.
"Because of his guilt," I said. "Because he thinks loving me is a betrayal of his father."
Freya packed her supplies slowly. "The bond between you two is rare. I've only seen it twice before in my lifetime. Both times, the couple had to choose. To accept the bond and risk everything, or reject it and live in misery."
"What did they choose?" I asked.
"One of them accepted it," Freya said. "They mated despite the pack's opposition. Built a life together. The pack eventually came around."
"And the other?" I asked.
Freya didn't answer. Which was answer enough.
Mira brought books that day. She set them on the table and sat across from me, her expression serious.
"He's avoiding you," she said.
"I know."
"It's stupid," she continued. "The bond is stronger when you resist it. Everyone knows that. The more he fights it, the more it's going to pull at him."
"He thinks he needs proof that I'm innocent," I said. "He thinks that if the investigation clears me, then he can accept his feelings without feeling like he's betraying his father."
"Does that make sense to you”? Mira asked.
"No," I admitted. "But I understand it. I understand that he's grieving and guilty and terrified all at once. I understand that he's trying to hold onto something his father's memory, his oath that's being destroyed by what he feels for me."
Mira was quiet for a moment. "Silas sent trackers after someone called Talia," she said. "They left this morning. The servants are saying the Alpha is trying to prove you're innocent."
"Is that what they're saying?" I asked.
"Some of them," Mira said. "The ones who support you. The others are saying he's obsessed. That you've bewitched him. That once he gets proof that you're guilty, he'll execute you himself."
I didn't respond. There was nothing to say to that.
On the third day, I couldn't take it anymore.
I went to find him.
The training grounds were empty when I arrived. Just practice dummies. The ground was torn up. Blood was scattered across the wood.
He'd been here. He had d beaten these dummies like they'd done something to him.
"You shouldn't be here."
I turned. Dominic stood in the shadows of the tower entrance. He looked like he hadn't slept. Like he hadn't eaten. Like he was barely holding himself together.
"You're killing yourself," I said.
"I'm thinking clearly," he replied.
"You're not," I said. "You're torturing yourself. The bond doesn't work like that. Fighting it doesn't make it weaker. It makes it stronger."
"I know," he said.
"Then why…"
"Because," he cut me off, "if I go to you, if I touch you, I lose the ability to think about anything except how much I want to claim you. And I can't do that. Not until the investigation is done. Not until I know for certain that you're innocent."
"Dominic.."
"Five more days," he said. "The trackers will have Talia in five days. Then we break the memory spell. Then we have our proof. Then everything changes."
He was still in the shadows. Not close enough for me to touch him. Not close enough for the bond to surge too loudly.
It was torture.
"What if the investigation doesn't prove what you want it to prove?" I asked. "What if you can't find Talia? What if she doesn't break?"
"Then I'll have wasted five days fighting something I'm going to lose anyway," he said quietly. "But at least I'll have tried."
He turned to leave.
"Dominic," I said.
He stopped.
"I know this is hard," I said. "I know you're grieving. But don't punish yourself for something you can't control. The bond isn't your fault. Loving me isn't your fault."
"It is," he said, without turning around. "It's the one thing in this that I can actually control. And right now, controlling it is the only way I know how to keep from drowning."
He left before I could respond.
That night, I lay in the tower bed and felt him in the corridor outside.
He was pacing. Back and forth. Like he was fighting the urge to come in. Fighting the bond that was screaming at him to be near me.
Through the connection, I could feel his exhaustion. His desperation. His absolute certainty that if he came through that door, he wouldn't be able to leave again.
So he stayed in the corridor. And I stayed in the bed. And neither of us slept.
- Writer
