LA: Loyalty or Annihilation

Chapter 5

Shawn's POV

"What's your wife's name?"

There are moments in life when everything stops.

Your breathing.

Your thoughts.

Maybe even your f*****g heartbeat.

This is one of them.

Kristal sits at the dining table with a cup of coffee between her hands, looking so calm that I almost wish she'd scream.

Scream, curse, throw something.

Anything.

Instead, she just watches me.

Waiting.

I open my mouth.

Nothing comes out.

Her eyebrows lift slightly.

"Was that too difficult?"

Fuck.

"Kristal—"

"Her name, Shawn."

I rub a hand over my face.

This isn't how I imagined telling her.

Then again, I've spent months imagining conversations I was apparently never brave enough to actually have.

"Jade."

Kristal doesn't move.

"Jade," she repeats.

"Yes."

"Last name?"

I hesitate.

Her eyes sharpen.

"Montgomery."

Her mouth twitches.

Not quite a smile.

"Of course it is."

"Baby—"

"Don't."

One word.

Quiet.

Deadly.

I stop.

Kristal folds her arms.

"How long?"

My stomach drops.

"How long what?"

Her stare turns colder.

Wrong response.

"How long have you been married to her?"

"Seven years."

Silence.

Something flickers across Kristal's face.

Gone almost immediately.

Seven years.

Five of those years belong to Kristal.

She does the math.

Of course she does.

"You were married when you met me."

It isn't a question.

"Yes."

Her jaw tightens.

"We were having coffee, dinners, sleeping together—you were married."

"Yes."

"When you asked me to move to California."

"Yes."

"When you proposed."

My chest tightens.

"Yes."

Kristal looks away.

I take a step toward her.

"Please let me explain."

She laughs once.

There's no humor in it.

"You've had five years to explain."

"I know."

"No. Apparently you don't."

Her voice remains calm, but something about that calm is starting to scare the s**t out of me.

I pull out the chair across from her and sit down.

"Jade and I were basically separated."

Kristal's eyes return to mine.

"Basically?"

"We weren't living like husband and wife anymore."

"Were you legally separated?"

"No."

"Filed for divorce?"

"No."

"Did she know the marriage was over?"

I hesitate.

Kristal nods slowly.

"Interesting."

"It was complicated."

"No, Shawn. I'm beginning to think it was actually very simple."

I clench my jaw.

"She was in Europe for three years."

"And?"

"We barely saw each other. Barely spoke. We became strangers."

"So you cheated."

The word hits harder than I expect.

"I fell in love with you."

"While married."

"Yes."

Her face doesn't change.

I push forward because stopping now would be worse.

"When I met you in the café, I was lonely. Jade was gone constantly. Her career had taken over everything. I thought our marriage was finished."

"But you never told her that."

"No."

"Did you tell me you were married?"

"No."

There it is.

Ugly.

Unavoidable.

Kristal looks down at her coffee.

I want to touch her.

I know better.

"When we moved here," I continue, "I really believed I was starting over with you."

"You brought me across the country while your wife was still here?"

"She wasn't here then."

Her eyes flash.

"That's supposed to make me feel better?"

"No."

"Good."

I exhale.

"Jade eventually came back."

Kristal goes still.

"When?"

My mouth suddenly feels dry.

"A few months ago."

Her eyes narrow.

"Months?"

"Yes."

"And you've known she's been back for months?"

"Yes."

I watch another piece of Kristal disappear.

"How did she find you?"

"Private investigator."

She blinks.

"Excuse me?"

"She came home expecting me to still be at our house. When I wasn't there, she hired someone."

Kristal stares at me.

"Our house?"

Fuck.

"Jade and I own a house."

Kristal actually laughs this time.

Softly.

Almost to herself.

"A wife. A house. What else, Shawn? You got three kids tucked away somewhere too?"

"No."

"How reassuring."

"Kristal—"

"What happened when she found you?"

My silence lasts too long.

Her eyes lock onto mine.

"What happened?"

"She came to my office."

"And?"

"We argued."

"And?"

I can't lie anymore.

Not now.

"We... reconciled."

Kristal's face empties.

I hate that expression.

I'd rather see rage.

"Define reconciled."

"Kristal."

"Define it."

"We slept together."

Her eyes close.

Just for a second.

When they reopen, something is different.

Cold.

"Once?"

I look down.

Fuck.

"Shawn."

"No."

"How many times?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"We've been seeing each other."

Silence.

I watch her absorb it.

Every bit.

"You've been sleeping with your wife for months while coming home to me."

"I'm sorry."

"Did she know about me?"

"Yes."

That one hits.

I see it.

"So she knew."

"After she found me, yes."

"You told her everything."

"Yes."

Kristal slowly leans back.

"So your wife—the woman I didn't even know existed—knew about me while I didn't know about her."

I close my eyes.

"Yes."

"Wow."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that."

"I am."

"No, you're scared."

I look at her.

She isn't wrong.

"I love you, Kristal."

She stares at me.

Then quietly asks, "Do you love her?"

Fuck.

This is the question.

The one I've been avoiding.

I could lie.

Maybe six months ago, I would've.

"Yes."

Kristal nods.

Once.

"Did you tell her that last night?"

My stomach turns.

She heard it.

"Yes."

Her eyes become glossy.

She blinks the tears away before they can fall.

"So that was her."

"Yes."

"The call."

"Yes."

"And when you said she was the reason you were here?"

I swallow.

"I was talking about California."

Kristal stares at me.

Five years ago.

The move.

Everything.

"It wasn't just the promotion?"

"No."

Her lips part.

I immediately try to explain.

"Jade and I bought our house here before Europe. Part of me wanted to be closer to where my life had been. The promotion made sense professionally, and I wanted a fresh start with you, but—"

My phone rings.

The sound tears through the room.

Kristal's eyes drop toward the kitchen counter where I left it.

I don't need to look.

Somehow I already know.

The screen lights up.

JADE ❤️

Jesus f*****g Christ.

Kristal looks at the phone.

Then at me.

Then back at the phone.

Nobody moves.

It continues ringing.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

Kristal gives a tiny nod toward it.

"Your wife is calling."

"Kristal—"

"Answer it."

"No."

The phone keeps ringing.

Her expression doesn't shift.

"You answered me while you were with her yesterday."

Fuck.

"Maybe you should return the courtesy."

"That's not funny."

"I wasn't joking."

The call ends.

Silence.

Then immediately—

It rings again.

JADE ❤️

Kristal's eyes settle on the heart beside Jade's name.

I wish the floor would open.

"She gets a heart too."

"Baby—"

"Don't call me that."

Her voice is different now.

I stop instantly.

She reaches down.

Slowly removes her engagement ring.

My blood turns cold.

"Kristal."

She places it on the table.

Not dramatically.

No throwing it.

No screaming.

Just places it there.

That somehow hurts worse.

"I need you to leave."

My heart slams against my ribs.

"Wait."

"I said leave."

"We need to talk."

"We just did."

"Kristal, please."

Her eyes finally meet mine.

And I don't recognize them.

"I said leave, Shawn."

The phone continues ringing between us.

My wife calling.

My fiancée removing my ring.

And for the first time since this nightmare began, I realize something horrifying.

The choice might not be mine anymore.

---

Kristal's POV

Jade.

Her name is Jade.

That's what my fiancé's wife is called.

Seven years.

They've been married for seven years.

I've been with Shawn for five.

Meaning there was never a point in our relationship when I wasn't the other woman.

I just didn't know it.

Every date.

Every anniversary.

Every Christmas.

Every birthday.

Every night he made love to me.

Every morning I woke up beside him.

Every promise.

Every I love you.

All of it existed inside a marriage I didn't know about.

Something inside my chest is breaking so badly that I almost expect to hear it.

But Shawn keeps talking.

Europe.

Loneliness.

Distance.

Marriage basically over.

Blah.

Blah.

Fucking blah.

I hear the words.

I understand them.

I simply don't care anymore.

Because no explanation changes the truth.

He lied.

Then he tells me Jade came back months ago.

Months.

Not yesterday.

Not last week.

Months.

And they've been sleeping together.

Repeatedly.

While he's been sleeping with me.

I feel sick.

Not screaming sick.

Cold sick.

The kind where your whole body suddenly feels hollow.

Then I ask the question I shouldn't.

"Do you love her?"

"Yes."

There it is.

The final blade.

Straight through my chest.

I think something in me dies.

Then he confirms she was the woman on the phone.

Confirms the words I heard.

Confirms that Los Angeles wasn't simply about his career.

Every piece falls into place.

And somehow, when the picture becomes complete, my heart stops hurting.

It freezes.

Completely.

Then his phone rings.

JADE ❤️

A heart.

I almost laugh.

Of course.

Of course he has a heart beside her name.

He has one beside mine too.

How generous.

I tell him to answer.

He refuses.

Then it rings again.

And I understand something with perfect clarity.

I'm done.

Not maybe.

Not depending on his explanation.

Not after therapy.

Not after time apart.

Done.

I look at my engagement ring.

Five years of promises wrapped around my finger.

I remove it.

Shawn immediately panics.

"Kristal."

I set the ring on the table.

Carefully.

Because unlike Shawn, I don't destroy things just because I'm finished with them.

"I need you to leave."

He starts talking.

I don't hear most of it.

My heart isn't breaking anymore.

It's crystallizing.

Turning into something hard enough to protect whatever pieces of me he hasn't destroyed.

He thinks this is about choosing between me and Jade.

That's almost funny.

There is no competition.

Jade can have her husband.

I'm not fighting another woman for a man who never belonged to me in the first place.

And I'm damn sure not begging Shawn Montgomery to choose me after he stole five years I can never get back.

His phone continues ringing.

I stare directly into his eyes.

"I said leave, Shawn."

For once, he has nothing to say.

Good.

Because my life didn't end today.

His place in it did.