LA: Loyalty Or Annilation

Chapter 13

Jade's POV

I finish buttoning my blouse myself.

No thanks to my husband.

Shawn is standing less than three feet away, but mentally, he might as well be somewhere across the f*****g country.

I don't need to ask where.

Or rather, who.

I slip my feet into my shoes and smooth my blouse over my stomach.

My stomach.

There's a baby in there.

Our baby.

The thought should make me smile.

It almost does.

The door opens before I can decide what emotion I'm supposed to be feeling.

Dr. Davidson returns with a nurse carrying a small pharmacy bag and discharge paperwork.

I look behind them automatically.

No Kristal.

The disappointment catches me off guard.

"Mrs. Montgomery," Dr. Davidson says, "we've got everything ready for you."

The nurse approaches with the bag.

"We're sending you home with prenatal vitamins. The instructions are included, along with your discharge paperwork and information about scheduling your first prenatal appointment."

"Thank you."

She walks me through the paperwork while Dr. Davidson reviews the symptoms that should bring me back immediately.

I listen this time.

Actually listen.

This baby is real, and whatever mess exists between Shawn and me cannot interfere with my health or my child's.

Still, I find myself glancing toward the doorway.

I wanted to talk to Kristal.

I wanted to finish what Shawn interrupted earlier.

You don't owe me an apology.

That's what I was going to tell her.

Maybe more.

Now?

After finding out I'm pregnant?

I can understand why she wouldn't want to come back.

Seeing me was probably difficult enough. Learning I'm carrying Shawn's child added another layer neither of us expected.

Maybe another day.

Or maybe there shouldn't be another day.

Kristal doesn't owe me a conversation either.

I sign the last page and hand the tablet back.

"You're all set," Dr. Davidson says. "Take today easy. No work, no strenuous activity, keep yourself hydrated, and arrange your follow-up."

"I will."

"Congratulations again."

"Thank you, Doctor."

I glance at Shawn.

He's staring toward the hallway.

Of course he is.

Something ugly curls in my stomach.

I refuse to compete with a woman who has already removed herself from the competition.

More importantly, I refuse to spend my pregnancy wondering whether my husband wishes someone else were carrying his child.

I collect my things.

"I'm ready."

Shawn doesn't move.

He didn't hear me.

Perfect.

I thank the nurse and Dr. Davidson once more, then walk out.

Let him catch up.

---

Shawn's POV

The door opens.

Dr. Davidson comes back with another nurse.

Not Kristal.

The disappointment is immediate.

And f*****g unacceptable.

I need to stop.

Seriously.

I have a wife.

And now I have a child on the way.

Yet the what-ifs won't leave me alone.

What if Kristal hadn't heard that phone call?

What if Jade hadn't come home?

What if I'd told the truth years ago?

What if I'd actually ended my marriage before asking Kristal to build a life with me?

What if—

Stop.

There is no alternate timeline.

There's this one.

The one I created.

The nurse starts explaining something about prenatal vitamins. Dr. Davidson adds discharge instructions.

I try to listen.

I really do.

But then I realize Jade isn't beside me anymore.

"Jade?"

She's already halfway down the hallway.

Shit.

I grab my jacket and hurry after her.

"Jade?"

She keeps walking.

"Jade! Slow down. You're pregnant, remember? I don't want you to trip and fall."

That gets her attention.

She whirls around so quickly that I almost walk straight into her.

Her finger hits my chest.

"YOU have no right to tell me what to do with the way you've been acting!"

I freeze.

People nearby look over.

"Jade—"

"You think I don't notice the looks?"

I look away.

Wrong move.

"Yeah. Exactly."

Her voice shakes.

"This is supposed to be one of the happiest moments of our lives, and you are ruining it!"

The last words echo through the hallway.

Conversations stop.

A receptionist suddenly becomes fascinated with her computer.

Two nurses pretend they're not listening.

Jade doesn't give a damn.

"Get your s**t together, Shawn, because this baby will be raised by me alone before I spend the next eighteen years dealing with a wannabe dad and an invisible husband."

"Jade."

"No."

Her eyes shine.

"We are supposed to be partners. We took vows."

Her mouth twists bitterly.

"Or at least I did."

That one lands.

"If you no longer—"

I take her hand.

"Not here."

She tries pulling away.

"Shawn—"

"Please."

For once, she lets me lead.

We make it through the lobby and outside without another explosion.

By the time we're inside the car, the privacy feels necessary.

Jade turns toward me.

"Look, Shawn. If you no longer love me, then just say so."

My chest tightens.

"We can go our separate ways. I won't hold you back anymore. I love—"

I turn toward her, cup the back of her head and kiss her.

Her sentence disappears against my mouth.

For half a second, she doesn't respond.

Then her hand grips my shirt.

I pour everything I haven't known how to say into that kiss: seven years of marriage, every fight, every mistake, every memory, every reason I came home and every reason I need to stay there.

When I pull back, we're both breathing harder.

Jade's eyes are dazed.

I brush my thumb over her lips.

"I love you."

She searches my face.

I mean it.

That's what makes everything I've done so f****d up.

I love my wife.

I have loved her through anger, distance, resentment, betrayal and every terrible decision I made instead of dealing with our marriage honestly.

Now she's carrying our child.

I'm done making her wonder whether she's enough.

I start the car.

"Let's go celebrate, baby."

Jade doesn't answer immediately.

When I glance at her, her hand is resting over her stomach.

Finally, she nods.

"Okay."

It's not forgiveness.

It's not a magically repaired marriage.

But it's a start.

---

Kristal's POV

The rest of my shift is surprisingly uneventful.

Exactly what I needed.

Patients come and go. I finish charts, help with medications, answer questions and survive Marcus trying to convince me pineapple pizza should be classified as a controlled substance.

Most importantly, Maya eventually tells me room three has been cleared.

The breath that leaves me could probably power a small wind turbine.

They're gone.

Good.

I don't ask when.

I don't ask how Jade was when she left.

I don't ask anything about Shawn.

I finish my shift.

By the time I clock out, I'm tired in that satisfying way that comes from actually working instead of emotionally imploding.

Outside, evening air hits my face.

Home.

Shower.

Pajamas.

Something stupid on television.

Perfect.

I reach the employee parking lot and slow.

Someone is standing beside my car.

Tall.

White coat gone now, replaced by a dark button-down shirt that fits him far too well.

Dr. Kenny Davidson.

I stop.

What is he doing next to my car?

He notices me and smiles.

"Headed home?"

"That's generally what happens after I leave work."

His smile widens.

"Smart-ass."

"Occasionally."

I approach cautiously.

"Yes, I'm headed home. You?"

"Maybe."

I raise an eyebrow.

"Maybe?"

"That depends on you."

Now both eyebrows go up.

"How exactly does you going home depend on me?"

"Well..."

He pushes away from my car.

Then walks toward me.

"I know this secret place."

One step.

"Where the food is God-worthy delicious."

Another.

"The milkshakes are old-school awesome."

Another.

"And I happen to think the company of a beautiful, hardworking woman who is an amazing nurse would make the evening pretty much perfect."

Okay.

Smooth.

Very f*****g smooth.

He's close now.

Not touching me.

Not trapping me against anything.

Just close enough that I catch his cologne.

Oh.

That's dangerous.

Clean.

Warm.

Something woodsy underneath.

My heart immediately decides to embarrass me.

Thump-thump-thump.

Dr. Davidson looks down at me.

I close my eyes for half a second and breathe in before common sense catches me.

Did I just smell this man?

Jesus Christ, Kristal.

Please tell me he didn't notice.

"So..."

My eyes open.

His are amused.

Fuck.

He noticed.

"What do you say?"

I stare at him.

The sensible answer is no.

I'm newly single.

Emotionally bruised.

Still in therapy.

And literally hours ago I learned my married ex-fiancé is having a baby with his wife.

This is not exactly ideal dating material.

But Kenny didn't ask me to marry him.

He didn't even call it a date.

He asked me to eat.

One meal.

Food.

Milkshake.

Conversation.

That's it.

And suddenly I remember something my therapist asked me during our last session.

What would it look like to let yourself enjoy something without deciding what it has to become?

Huh.

Annoying woman.

Always making sense at inconvenient times.

I look at Kenny.

"One meal?"

"One meal."

"No expectations?"

His expression becomes more serious.

"None."

"And if I decide halfway through that you're annoying?"

"I'll be devastated, but I'll survive."

I laugh.

Damn him.

He offers his hand.

"So?"

I look at it.

Then at him.

One meal together won't hurt, right?

I place my hand in his.

"Deal."

His fingers close gently around mine.

And for the first time in five years, I'm walking toward dinner with a man who isn't Shawn Montgomery.