A GENTLEMAN'S LOVE.

1.2 STRIPPED OF INNOCENCE

I felt scared as the deep, rough voice echoed in the room. The room was dark, quiet, and very eerie. The walls were soundproof. And only when I felt the fear did I realize I could no longer hear what was going on outside. That scared me even more. If he decided to kill me, no one would know. They would erase me like I never existed. Inside the room, there were all kinds of weird toys and foreign equipment I had never seen before. I stood there awkwardly, my eyes darting everywhere but at the man and waiting to be dismissed, but instead, he ordered me to wash his feet.

''Get moving, the feet are not going to wash themselves, right?'' he shouted, scaring my legs into action. I quickly prepared the hot water and brought it to him. I lowered to my knees and gently put his feet into the warm water in the basin. He was only wearing a white towel around his waist, which would have been inappropriate back home, but perhaps not here. This was a foreign land. Their land had its own rules and culture. I had to adapt fast. I gently scrubbed his feet, and after I was done, I used a towel to wipe them dry. His dark eyes following my every move gave me chills, but I couldn’t leave. I had to satisfy the client's needs. I was commanded. The tension in the room felt thick with fear. I could feel it on my skin.

He grinned, his dark gaze resting on my face. He gave me a hard, flat stare, then he let his hand rest on my face. He ran his hard, cold fingers along my lips, and I forgot to breathe. He was getting serious in a weird way, and I hated it. He lets the tip of his finger raise my chin. Forcing me to look up to him.

I looked up at him, our eyes met, and embarrassment rose under my skin; my face flushed. He was barely dressed; he shouldn't be holding my face up like that. It felt wrong. I am not his puppy. I shook off his hands in defiance, annoyed, and a scowl formed on his face. He got triggered,

“How dare you?” he whispered, then he grinned like a hunter excited about the chase. I was his prey, and every act of defiance against him riled him up. More thrilled for the hunt. If only Jack had warned me before, maybe the act wouldn’t have been so traumatic and shocking. I would have gotten myself ready for how my life was about to change.

''Do you want to play?'' he asked, smiling creepily, but I was naive. I couldn’t interpret the grin on his face. I loved games, and the question somehow eased the tension; at least he was not doing or asking to do something evil. I breathed out a sigh of relief and felt my shoulders relax. If all he wants is to play some games, okay, I didn’t mind, I agreed politely. It was something I could do.

''Yes, I can play,'' I politely agreed.

''Then come here, I will show you how to play,'' the man said with an evil grin. Gripping my hand, he pulled me up towards the bed.

''While playing, you should take off your clothes. That's how you play this game,'' he said, trying to rip off my shirt.

''What? 'Do I have to?'' I asked, bewildered, moving away. I was reluctant; it felt wrong and dangerous, even though I was young and naive. I still knew right from wrong. It felt wrong to expose my body, but the man insisted. I had been given a death warning not to upset the man. But I still couldn’t bring myself to give in to his threats. I moved away from him, horrified.

“I said get undressed,” he ordered, his tone rising a notch higher. I could feel he was getting irritated and angry. He was not smiling anymore; his serious face turned ugly and terrifying. And the fear once again came creeping in like a storm. Overwhelming me,'' I don’t want to play anymore. "I have changed my mind." I talked fast as I walked to the door and tried to open it, but it wouldn't budge.

“You don’t get to say no,” he mocked. "Come here," he called, signing with his fingers to urge me forward. I shook my head in fear, moving backwards towards the door. '' No.''

''Yes, you do.'' the man answered. He stood up from the bed and grabbed my hand. I tried to pry away from his hold, but he held me tighter. He led me and pushed me into bed. I fell, and the cheap bed made a thudding sound, then a creaking as I crawled away from him, but he got hold of my shirt and ripped it off my body. Ripping it into pieces.

''No, don’t''. I tried to stop him, but it was already too late. He had ripped it to pieces. The last memory of my mother

She had bought it to celebrate my coming of age, and it was the only belonging I kept when I came here. I shivered; it was cold, and goosebumps tingled along my arms. Annoyed, I pushed him away angrily. But it only energized him as he attacked me more strongly.

He grinned down at me as he held me pinned down forcefully on the bed. He grouped my body, touching and licking every inch of skin, arousing foreign feelings within my body. It felt wrong. He invoked fear and disgust in me at every touch.

Aroused and confused, I shouted in panic, my eyes welled in tears, “What are you doing?” I tried to fight him off, but he was too heavy; his body wouldn’t budge. He mocked, ''What do you think I am doing?'' I finally got a chance when he was distracted trying to take off my trousers, and I overpowered him. I pushed him away and stood up. I rushed towards the door, but it was closed.

I forgot. Only the client had access to opening the door. Only with his orders can the doors be opened from the outside.

Where do you think you are going?'' Come back here,'' he called out as his hands painfully wrapped around my neck, and he pulled me roughly back into the room. He threw me to the ground with force. I stumbled on my feet and fell, and blood came pouring from my knees. The cut was deep and painful, but that didn’t seem to faze him, as he had seen this scene hundreds of times.

Gasping, sobbing, I crawled away from him, leaving red marks everywhere. I rolled over the floor, kicking, biting, and scratching, but he was too strong. He overpowered me. He grabbed my foot and pulled me back to him, grinning at my panicked look. His laugh echoed in the dark. All I was doing was just riling up his urges, making him more excited and full of energy.

''Seems no one taught you manners. I will teach you.'' His deep voice cut through my cries, echoing in my head over and over.

He gripped my shoulders tightly, almost breaking them. Forcing me to look at his distorted face. It was painful. His hands were strong, I gulped, choking on tears. ''Please let me go," I begged. Anger blazed from his eyes, and he pushed me ruefully down on the floor. "You piece *****." He turned me forcefully to face the cold floor. He got on top of me and pinned me to the ground. It was cold and dirty. I could feel the sand in my mouth. He was now breathing hard on my back; his breath smelled fishy and disgusting.

Pressed on the cold floor, my palms flattened on the floor. I felt trapped and caged like an animal. My small hands curl into fists, and I try to fight him off, but I can’t. My small fists don’t have much power to even move him, like an egg against a stone.

He took the whip from the collection of toys, and my eyes widened in fear. ''Please don’t,'' I cried out, but he didn’t stop. He lashed out at my back, ignoring my cries of pain, and he grunted in pleasure as the whips landed on my back. It was black, thin, long, and with every lash came a blood-curdling scream. The whip marks never faded. I still have them stretched across my back like trophies.

Cries ripped from my throat, full of frustration and despair. I screamed as my curse words turned into wails, but he did not stop.

All I can see is red: my head, my arms, and my legs. I am bleeding everywhere, but I don’t remember how he inflicted the injury.

"Blazing and furious, he shouted, 'Stay down.'' I winced in pain as his fingers dug deep into my skin, holding my waist tighter.

I opened my mouth to scream, but he bent over and covered my mouth firmly with his. Disgusting, I could taste his bitter saliva.

I could feel him on my back, hard rock behind me, ''Please don’t.'' I stiffened at the thought of what would happen next, my mouth dry with panic. He ripped my thighs apart, and I felt him surge up high inside me. His hands grabbed my lower body, and I screamed, “Please don’t”. I kept pleading over and over. His grip tightened, and I went crazy. Biting and scratching, doing all I could to push him off.