Where Life Meets a New Beginning

Chapter 1 - Mediocrity

How can someone be so tired they don’t even feel alive anymore?

I woke to the sound of my phone alarm going off, with my body feeling more drained than it did the morning before, as I normally did.

It was nine in the morning.

Not even a super early start to the day, but I could never manage to fall asleep at a decent time. I always had so many things running through my mind.

I’d lay in bed the night before, scrolling through other people’s social media profiles, watching everything they were doing, or portraying themselves to be while simultaneously dreaming about a life I’d rather be living myself.

I’d be dreaming of a life worthy enough to even think of posting about like they did, whether their content was interesting or not. I’d look up homes I’d fantasize of owning, vacations I longed to go on, and clothes I wished I had a reason to wear.

Instead I continued to spectate day by day, while going through the same mediocre routine I was currently beginning over again.

I reached over my boyfriend, Caleb, to grab my phone. I’d fallen asleep with it in my hands again, no doubt, but he moved wildly in his sleep every night causing whatever was on the bed to never be where you’d expect it when you woke up.

When I finally was able to find the phone and shut off my alarm I climbed over his seemingly lifeless body as he continued to snore.

I had fallen asleep naked so I pulled on a big t shirt and cozy pair of shorts I quickly found in the mess on my floor then ran to the next room to get ready.

The timer was already ticking because I’d woken up at the latest time I could to get ready to make it to work in time, as I did most days.

I worked as a bartender at a mid-class bar. It wasn’t trashy nor was it fancy. We had a pretty serious drink menu that took a lot to learn but it wasn’t particularly special. I never went to college or anything and this is just where I ended up.

My parents were insufferable drug addicts while I was growing up that couldn’t even keep the utilities on in my home so I had to begin fending for myself at a pretty young age.

My mother also never wanted children so after she had her happy little accident with me she never did it again, leaving me with a craving for attention and approval from others considering drug addicts aren’t the most attentive people around.

This is how I ended up in an awful cycle that left me happy to just have running water, working lights, and a somewhat decent cash flow fueled by pleasing others that I couldn’t get out of.

I’d made my way to working mostly morning shifts at the bar, meaning I always had a mess to walk into at work after the night time bartenders left drunk while doing a half-ass job of closing up the night before.

I’d continued to screw myself over and keep cleaning up their mess every morning though, because I craved the praise that it got me from my managers.

They were really just middle aged people who didn’t do anything with their lives and ended up wasting away in a restaurant because someone had sold them a dream of moving up and making more money, but it never worked out that way.

It was like looking into a mirror of my own future.

I was caking on my makeup in an insecure manner, the way I did every morning, when Caleb stumbled into the room half asleep and leaned down to kiss me on the cheek.

“How late did you stay up last night Salem? You look even more tired than normal today.”

“Just as late as I always do. Too late.” I replied.

He was booting up his computer where he’d indefinitely be playing video games for a while because today was his day off.

“Are you gonna spend your whole day on there today or can I expect you to get anything done at home? I probably won’t have the energy to do anything when I get back.” I knew he wouldn’t do anything regardless of his answer but I thought just putting the idea of him doing something out in the open might make a difference.

He ran his hands through his blonde hair then stretched into a yawn while lazily responding “I dunno.” So I just went back to getting ready and didn’t say anything.

We’d been together since we were pre-teens. Our younger years were nasty. We’d broken up and cheated on each other more times than I could count.

One day we just kind of gave up and settled down together. I did truly love him after all this time but I guess we couldn’t see ourselves being able to find anyone else to put up with our insecurities. We were very alike in that way.

The only difference was Caleb internalized all of his problems and hated himself for it, so he didn’t show much emotion. This led me to have an even stronger need for approval and attention.

I was happy to take care of him for this reason, most of the time. I would put too much on my own back, cooking and cleaning while also working full time to make him have brighter days. But he knew that I would.

I finally finished up getting ready after an hour of working on my face. I did look really good for all that I’d done in the time. I was quite adept at cosmetic routines, with being so insecure and all.

I began brushing through my long hair that was currently colored a dark forest green. I’d put on enough makeup that I didn’t feel the need to style it, so I just let it flow freely and called it quits on my appearance for the morning.

Quickly, I began pulling on a pair of small black spandex shorts over my short legs with an equally as small black tank top, then stood in front of the mirror for a moment to make sure it had all come together okay.

My area to get ready was in the same room as Caleb’s computer so from behind me I heard “Babe. You’re hot.” This was as much affirmation as I needed to get going and also as much as I would get out of him anyway.

Even with the lack of confidence I had, I did know that I wasn’t bad looking. I’d never had a problem with getting men to be attracted to me. I was short in height but I still had a slender, yet curvy body that was proportional to what it should be for my size.

I turned around to face Caleb. He was also quite good looking himself. He had blonde hair and blue eyes, with perfect skin and a soft masculine look that most women loved.

He pulled me over to him and sat me in his lap, gave me a long kiss then just looked at me lovingly.

I softened in his gaze. We really did love each other, even with all the annoyances we constantly caused for one another.

“Thanks babe. But I gotta go. I’m not sure when I’ll be home. I’ll text you and let you know what I end up doing.”

Restaurants were extremely unpredictable when it came to planning when to be off of work, as well as the fact that I normally stuck around for a bit afterwards to chat with the other bartenders and have a few drinks.

When I finally got out the front door of our house after rushing to grab all my things with fifteen minutes to make it to my job that was twenty minutes away, it was lightly raining outside.

“Good thing I decided not to do anything to my hair.” I said to myself.

I rushed to the car and hopped in, trying to pull out of the drive way in front of our little two bedroom home as quickly as possible.

We only were even able to afford this place because I’d gotten a drunk guy who rented out houses to agree to give it to us at a way-too-low price one night that I was actually working the night shift.

I sped my way to work, trying to avoid traffic lights at all costs but still somehow ended up hitting almost every one of them. I parked as quickly as possible then ran into the building through the now pouring rain about ten minutes late.

“Oh look who decided to show up. The night crew left a huge mess and you have a ton of prep to do before we open so you’d better hurry.” My manager, Darren, said while being way too obvious about looking my whole body up in down in the most creepy manner. Of course. What a great start to the day.

“Sorry, uh, the rain slowed me down. My bad.”

It was a total lie and I really just wanted to tell him to mind his business because it’s not like he was gonna fire me but I would never do anything to cause someone to think of me in a bad way. I hated confrontation for that reason.

I walked behind the bar and started pulling out a cutting board, knives, and lots of containers to restock all of the fruits and garnishes that would be needed to get through the whole day.

I muttered to myself every couple of seconds as I worked, considering everything was trashed and I had to fix it but I always did and everyone who worked there knew I always would too.

I would end up prepping enough for both shifts even though the night people were technically supposed to do it for themselves when they got there.

I had less than an hour until the store opened when I got there but that didn’t really matter because the first bit of the day was always really slow so I could finish up what I needed to past then.

I was taking my time, carefully cutting the cucumber slices so that they wouldn’t be too thick or too thin when I realized that 11:30 had rolled around so I needed to turn on the music and unlock the doors to open the bar. I flipped the switch for the sign outside that read “Max’s Bar & Grill” indicating to early morning alcoholics that we were now ready for business.

Expecting to have no customers for at least an hour, I went back to the table I was sitting at and slicing up my cucumbers, when to my annoyance I heard the door jingle and foot steps coming in from behind me.

This early in the day not even my need for approval could stop me from catching a slight attitude with a customer.

With an obviously inconvenienced tone I spoke before turning around. “Good morning. I wasn’t expecting someone wanting to drink quite so early. What can I get you?”

To my surprise when I turned around there was a man who looked to be about my age sitting at the bar on the end furthest from me. I was 22 and it was normally only older folks who were pretty heavy alcoholics that came in this early.

I almost froze in that moment, as I could see his side profile and he looked to be extremely good looking.

This normally didn’t phase me after being in a relationship for so long but there was something about him that had me curious and excited to see more of him.

He was wearing straight fit jeans that went well with the clean Vans he was wearing. He also had on a black t shirt that matched his jet black hair that shone almost blue with the little bit of sunlight that was reaching it through the dingy bar windows behind him.

He was a totally normal guy and I couldn’t even completely see his face yet, I don’t know why I was so excited to get over to see him.

I quickly wiped off my hands from all the fruits and such I’d been touching all morning but before I began walking over he said “Your favorite whiskey, just a double on the rocks.”

I made my way to the end of the bar he was sitting at. When I got there I was shocked by how attracted to him I was. His eyes were almost gold, they looked like they were going to pierce right through me when I caught them, and his smile was miraculously perfect.

I instantly began fumbling over my words.

“Uhm, I don’t think we have that brand, but I can get you a drink menu with a list of all the liquors we have so you can choose something else just give me a moment. What a fun name for a brand of whiskey though, I like that. Oh the menus aren’t where they’re supposed to be just give me one-“

He chuckled and cut me off “No ma’am, I meant like, the kind of whiskey that you like to drink. If you do like to drink whiskey at all. Bartenders normally steer me the right way. Even if it’s an up sell, the more expensive stuff is smoother anyway.”

His laugh was angelic.

“Oh. Uhm. Okay.” I grabbed a green bottle from behind me and quickly poured his double shot over ice then threw down a couple of bev-naps in front of him then set the drink down on top.

“Did you choose that one because it matches your eyes?”

“Wait, what? The whiskey? Oh my eyes must be more on the brown side today, but no I just only drink whiskey every once in a while and when I do this is the one I like to drink. I’m normally more of a vodka kind of gal. Less sugar means less chance of a hang over.”

I was rambling. I had no idea why I was so nervous, I got hit on constantly by all kinds of men and plenty of them were quite good looking. It normally didn’t interrupt my mood like this at all.

“Ah, smart girl. You’ve learned to indulge in your vices not responsibly, but intelligently. Gotta admire that. And no, not the whiskey. I was talking about the bottle. The bottle matches your eyes. They’re quite green actually.”

The thought of him admiring anything about me made me weak.

“Oh, well uh. They’re kind of hazel. They change depending on the day I guess. Sometimes they’re kind of green but they’re normally more on the brown side. And thanks? I guess? I always just thought of myself as a functioning alcoholic. Haha” I laughed nervously as I spoke.

What in the world was going on with me?

All of a sudden I remembered that I needed to finish cutting fruit and make sure everything was done since I was running so behind.

He was just looking at me, smiling, and before he could say anything again I said “Well if you need anything else let me know, I’ll come back to check on you soon.”

I rushed back over to my table and moved my cutting board and the rest of the stuff to the end of the bar as far from him as I could possibly make it, but I had to at least be standing so I could effectively do my job.

I tried my hardest not to look over at him, after all I was in fact a taken woman.

Caleb! Oh Caleb. My love.

I took my phone out and sent a text to him.

I hope your morning is going well. We have customers early. I need a nap :(

I wasn’t expecting a response from him anytime soon. He always would just respond whenever he decided he had time in between games a few times a day when he was off.

I continued cutting up the fruit, and just concentrated on that. It was really hard. I ended up only cutting up enough for my shift for the rest of the stuff that I had left because I just couldn’t focus.

The other bartenders would be taken through a loop over that but they’d live.

I started packing everything up so that I could just focus on the rest of my shift when to my surprise my phone screen lit up on the counter with a response from Caleb.

That sucks. Just leave and come back to cuddle with me.

I smiled at his message. I didn’t get this from him very often.

Lol I love you, I’ll be home later.

I put my phone in my pocket and went back to working.

I was cleaning up after the atrocities of the drunk bartenders the night before and was now a lot closer to the man at the end of the bar.

“So what’s your name? I’d like to know who to thank for my good service.” He said and finished his double.

“Salem. Did you want another?”

“Keep em’ comin’.” Jesus. It was literally only about to be noon.

I poured him another drink and asked “So what’s got you drinking this early in the day?” without looking back at him in the process. I was beginning to feel guilty when I looked at him because it made me melt every time.

“I heard something in here that caught my attention when I was walking by. Besides, I’ve got nothing but time and nowhere to be. It won’t affect my day at all.”

Weird. It was totally silent in here all morning except for the quiet old country music I turned on right before we opened, and there’s no way he should’ve been able to hear that from outside.

“And what was that? It’s pretty much a ghost town in here.” I told him while setting his new drink in front of him and picking up his empty glass from the previous drink.

“Don’t worry about it love, I think I found what I was looking for.” He responded and caught my eyes in the same moment. What the hell? I was just a random bartender, I really couldn’t figure out why he was so infatuated. I quickly looked away.

“Alright well just give me a shout if you need anything. I’ll make sure your drink stays full until you’re ready to tab out.”

I went on about my day, as more regulars began to show up at the bar and it got a little busier. The man never left. He just stayed, slowly drinking his whiskey doubles while keeping an eye on me and trying to make small talk with every chance he got.

I focused on my work and pouring drinks as well as I could. It was about time to pay the rent and I needed to make some extra money.

It was around four when the other bartenders began showing up for the night shift. We normally only needed one in the morning and maybe three at night.

Darren of course popped up when Amy and Zoey walked in for their shifts, dressed in similar attire to mine because showing skin always meant better tips.

“Hey ladies, what’s got y’all’s attention this early into your shift?”

They were staring at the man at the end of the bar, who I’d now learned was named Elijah, and making comments about how good looking they thought he was while ignoring Darren.

Amy looked at me “Ya know, he hasn’t taken his eyes off of you though Salem. I think he has a little crush on you.”

“Yeah girl and look at him. I’d like to serve him all night if you know what I mean.” Zoey agreed while making some suggestive faces.

“Oh hush. I have a man. It doesn’t matter either way. Hopefully I can at least make some money off of it.” I told the girls as I was taking money and cards from all the bar guests. I had to make them tab out before I left so I could get a tip from them.

I made my way down to where Elijah was.

“Alright buddy, it’s time for me to get off of work so I need you to tab out. You can open a new tab with one of the other bartenders if you wanna keep drinking. Although I’m not sure if you need to, you’ve been throwing ‘em back all day.” I giggled.

It was then that he laid a hundred dollar bill down and slid it over to me and said, completely coherently, “How about you take this, I leave the tab open, and you sit down to have a drink with me?”