Where Life Meets a New Beginning

Chapter 2 - Don’t Mess Up the Routine

I stood their, staring down at the bill. I hated having to be rude to people, and he probably wouldn’t like me anymore after this, but I had to take it and turn him down.

“I’ll take this tip because I need it, but I will not take your invitation to sit down and drink with you. I’ll be sitting down and drinking by myself. Thank you very much though, and I hope you have a good night.”

I couldn’t bring myself to mention Caleb. I was doing the right thing by refusing to have a drink with him but for some reason I just didn’t want to tell him I was in a relationship.

I felt so guilty.

“Very well then Love, I’ll be over here if you change your mind.” He replied with a light smile and continued to sip on his drink.

I really didn’t understand how he wasn’t completely trashed. He’d been sitting there drinking all day. He’d had at least half a bottle of whiskey on his own, and that was being modest.

I left him to his thoughts and poured myself a vodka water, with a lemon and a lime. It was all I ever drank. Then I made my way over to the other end of the bar after clocking out. I was beginning to sweat, Max’s bar had been here for a long time just outside the oldest part of New Orleans so the air conditioning didn’t always work the best, and it was very humid at this time of day in the summer.

I began to get even hotter when I noticed Elijah was periodically looking over at me while I had small talk with the other bartenders.

Isaiah had shown up now too, to work with Amy and Zoey.

“You seem a little off today Salem, are you doing alright? You look like you could use a shot.” Isaiah said.

“Oh she’s just hot and bothered by mister dreamy over there because he obviously has a huge crush on her.” Amy chimed in.

“Look, he’s good looking, don’t get me wrong, but I made a good tip off of him and that’s as far as it goes. I’m just gonna have a couple of drinks and get home to Caleb. Today is his day off.”

“You mean the same Caleb who barely shows you any attention and spends his whole life playing video games? I know you love each other but I’m telling you girl, you’re never gonna experience anything real with him. Y’all are just too comfortable with each other because you’ve been together forever. Maaaaaybe you should go off for a couple hours with mister looks over there and experience some stuff he never has to know about before you keep making this decision to be bored every day for the rest of your life.”

Elijah smiled from across the bar almost as if he heard what Zoey just said.

My cheeks turned red and I could feel my face get hot.

“Zoey stop it! I love Caleb. Our relationship is just fine, I don’t need someone to be hanging all over me 24/7 to feel like I’m loved. And I’m NOT gonna cheat on him, I don’t know how you could even say that.”

In my mind I couldn’t help but think about how I hadn’t even heard from Caleb since early this afternoon. He was probably just sitting at home paying attention to whatever he was zeroed in on at that moment. He really didn’t act like I even existed to him sometimes. I would never let My friends know I was thinking this though. It would be even harder to get them to let up from the way they taunt my relationship.

“Listen, Salem, all we’re saying is that dude looks at you in a way I’ve never once seen Caleb look at you in all the years we’ve known you guys together and he doesn’t even actually know you. We just think you deserve to be happy.” Isaiah told me.

“Where is this coming from guys? Why haven’t any of you ever brought this up before? Actually, look, it doesn’t even matter, I’m not gonna just break up with Caleb for this guy that you’re right, DOESN’T even know me, just because he’s giving me goo-goo eyes.”

“Salem! We’re not saying break up with Caleb. Well, kind of. And we’ve never brought this up because you’re always the most comfortable just sitting in a comfy spot where no one is mad at you and you’re not disrupting the natural order of anything going on around you. That’s why you’ve been with Caleb for so long, and we don’t want to upset you. There are lots of guys that come in here to hit on you, but they just never look at you like that. Zoey is being a bit over dramatic but she is right in saying that maybe you should just like hang out with him for a little bit. There’s no harm in that and you wouldn’t be doing anything wrong.” Said Amy.

I quickly downed my drink and then threw back the shot that Isaiah had put in front of me while we were all talking.

“Thanks for ‘caring’ about me guys but I had a long morning of getting most of y’all’s bar prep done for you - speaking of there’s some fruit you guys should probably cut up before you get too drunk - and I’m gonna go home to Caleb and spend time with him. I should get going.”

I halfway smiled hoping I didn’t come off as rude and got up then headed out the door.

I looked back right before I was completely gone and they all looked somewhat apologetic while looking over at Elijah still sitting on the end of the bar.

I just wanted to get home and away from this uncomfortable situation.

On the way to my house I remembered that I actually had the next two days off, so they probably wouldn’t even remember this when I went back to work. Thank God.

I stopped at the liquor store and grabbed a bottle of vodka since I could be as hung over as I wanted tomorrow and I had so much on my mind now.

Elijah was really good looking and I loved getting the attention he was giving me. I really didn’t ever get anything like that from Caleb.

“Snap out of it!” I almost yelled at myself as I was driving home.

Everything was fine. I was fine. I was going to be fine, and my relationship with Caleb was fine.

When I finally arrived home I walked in the door and called out to Caleb “Hey babe I’m home now. How was your day?”

No response. I just went straight to the kitchen and started making myself another drink.

“GODDAMNIT!!” Caleb was shouting from the other room. That’s what I expected. It’s why I didn’t even check when he didn’t respond.

I went to the door way of the game room and he had his head phones on, playing games with his friends. He was zoned in on whatever was going on on the screen.

I turned around and headed to the living room, tall drink in hand and turned on the TV. I had been watching my favorite show for the hundredth time.

It was about vampires and werewolves and all of that stuff. The supernatural was my greatest escape in the fictional world, although I would read or watch just about anything in order to escape my own reality.

My greatest desire was just to simply exist, as some sort of powerful being that was higher than myself with special powers, or whatever I could be to just not be alive in the current reality that I was in.

It was sad, really.

I spent all of my free time trying to be in a different mind space than the one that I was supposed to be in.

The characters on the TV were going through some sort of problem that only supernatural beings could face and I was completely caught up in it when Caleb came in and sat down next to me.

It had been at least an hour since I’d been home and it was the first time he was acknowledging me.

“What are you up to in here?” He asked.

I was already half drunk from just sitting here and mindlessly drinking while trying to shake off the image of Elijah’s eyes looking at me the way they did in my mind.

“Oh you know, just the same thing I always am, sitting in here alone and fantasizing about being in a life that is any other one except for this one.”

He frowned. “What’s wrong? Did you have a bad day?”

No. In a way I had a good day and that was the problem.

“Nothing Caleb. I’m just sitting here doing the same thing as always, like I said. I’m fine.” I replied coldly.

He looked confused. “Did I do something wrong? I don’t know what I did?”

“No. You did the same thing you always do. We had the same day together that we always do. Everything is fine. Like I said, I’m fine.”

“I think you’ve had a little bit too much to drink Salem, maybe you should slow down for the evening. Have a couple of glasses of water.” He said while reaching for the bottle I had sitting on the table so I didn’t have to get up to keep refilling my glass.

I snatched it before he could get to it.

“Just go back to the game room Caleb. Keep playing your games. I’ll keep sitting in here watching TV and daydreaming. Like. We. Always. Do.”

He had no idea what was going on. I honestly was just springing this on him, but I was so frustrated in my drunken stupor. I was so desperate for attention and more exciting things going on around me that it radiated off of me to the people I worked with. I’d never even brought anything up like that to them.

Caleb backed away, and just went back to his desk. It only took a couple of minutes before I’d heard him talking to the guys he played with while a new match of whatever they were playing started up again.

He didn’t even want to try to figure out what was going on with me. He just let it go.

I sighed and poured myself another drink, then went back to watching my show.

The lead character was going through some sort of rebellious phase. She was a vampire and decided she wasn’t gonna try to be the good guy anymore. She was ripping people’s heads off and running through life spending money, doing whatever she wanted to. Of course for the sake of a storyline, this was obviously going to come back and bite her in the ass but I didn’t care. I still envied her.

I just wanted to wake up one day, feeling empowered in myself and like I was so much more than what I was now.

Was that really too much to ask for?

Apparently so.

I fell asleep that night, next to Caleb, in shambles. My being drunk did nothing but heighten my emotions and when I looked over at him in bed all I could do was get frustrated because I knew that my coworkers were right.

I loved him so much, but I also wanted so much more. I wanted to feel loved by someone by more than just the default feelings you get when you’ve been with them for so long.

I wanted someone to look at me like they couldn’t handle being anywhere except for next to me.

I wanted to be looked at the way Elijah looked at me.

I really just couldn’t figure out how this had me so shaken up. I didn’t even know him. I knew his name. That was it. Just his name and that he looked at me like no one else ever had.

At least because I’d drank so much I was able to fall asleep a lot earlier than normal. While I slept I had vision-like dreams of Elijah running his hands through my hair, and kissing me passionately. They were so vivid. We were out on the town dressed up in formal attire one second, and the next we were on a sunny beach laughing and playing in the water. Then suddenly we were covered in blood with a pile of bodies in front of us, laughing maniacally. It felt so real that I could tell my stomach was full of blood from the bodies that we’d just drank. For some reason I felt happy even though the scene was nothing but c*****e.

Suddenly my eyes snapped open and I had the worst headache. Today would be the longest day.