Where Life Meets a New Beginning

Chapter 4 - Have a drink. Or two.

“So you said you heard something when you were walking by, and that’s why you came in here the other day. What was it?”

I was looking at Elijah and he was pursing his lips like he was trying to find a way to respond to me.

“It was a figure of speech. The building gave me the feeling that there was more than meets the eye. I have a knack for these kind of things.. And it looks like I was right, i did meet my wonderful new friend after all.” He smiled halfheartedly and held his drink in the air a bit as if to cheers to what he was saying.

Something about that didn’t feel completely truthful, like their was something he wasn’t telling me, but I just let it slide.

“I don’t understand what you find so intriguing about me either, I mean we’ve barely even spoken to each other.”

This time he smiled almost as whole heartedly as possible.

Everything felt so calm around us, even though we were sitting in the middle of a loud and busy bar on a Friday night in New Orleans.

“Oh, I don’t know, I guess you could say there’s just something about you. You have a nice soul.”

I snorted. “A nice soul? What does that even mean?”

“You sure do ask a lot of questions little one. You should have more confidence in yourself. You’re a very pleasant person to be around. Remember how you said you feel comfortable around me for some reason? It’s kind of the same thing. I find something about you calming.”

Here came the hot cheeks. He really made me get all kinds of flustered.

“I’ve had a rough life. There hasn’t been a lot of positive reinforcement for me, I guess you could say. I find it hard to not question it when people like me or want to be my friend.”

“That makes me sad to hear. I’m fairly certain, even from the short time I’ve known you, that you deserve all the positive things in the world. You’re the kind of girl that should be put on a pedestal. Something tells me that you’d have the same kind demeanor even if you had. I have a knack for these kind of things, remember?”

I felt so at peace speaking to him. I felt like I was flying, but in the most heart warming way. Is this what it felt like to have someone pay attention to you? I silently told myself that’s all I was experiencing. I just wasn’t used to this.

“Well, Elijah, you still know little to nothing about me, even with what I just told you. Why don’t you tell me something about yourself?”

He chuckled a little bit and looked around the room. I got such a strong feeling that he was hiding something from me, but it didn’t feel like he was hiding something bad, per say, so I just kept letting it go.

“What would you like to know?” He asked me with a light smile.

“Hmm. I already know what you like to drink. Whats your favorite food?”

“Oh that’s easy. Just about any kind of pasta. I’ve travelled all over Europe and although there’s all kinds of food to eat, i could never say no to pasta from any menu in any restaurant, and I’ve yet to taste one I didn’t like.”

Seriously? He’s traveled all over Europe? He really couldn’t be any older than 25.

“Alright my turn.” He looked back to me. “Why was your life so rough?”

He was getting way deeper with his questions than I was. Alright then.

“Well, if you must know, with your little intense questions, my parents liked drugs a lot more than they liked me. That doesn’t always make things easy for growing children.”

His face saddened so much. I hated the thought of making him sad.

“It’s okay though, really. It gave me the work ethic of an ox. Your meals mean a lot more when you have to earn them.”

Elijah took one of my hands in both of his.

“As long as we are friends, you will not have to worry about a meal, or anything else for that matter.”

I got a little mad about that.

“I’m not trying to get hand outs from a man who isn’t even with me. I’ll be fine, don’t worry about that. You don’t even know me well enough to care this much.”

This wasn’t like me at all. I never spoke up towards someone in this way. I also reminded myself of Caleb in that moment and quickly finished the rest of my drink, because although I felt horrible and Elijah had just made me mad, I had no intention of getting up and going anywhere that wasn’t right next to him for as long as I could manage.

His expression never changed, he just let my hand slide out from his. He was looking at me with such a soft gaze.

“I don’t mean to upset you, there’s just something about you that makes me want to make sure you are safe and taken care of. I don’t want to cause problems for you, either, so I promise not to bring any harm to your relationship. I respect the fact that another man has your heart. As long as you will keep me around though, just promise that you’ll let me know if there’s anything I can do to help you? With anything?”

I felt so bad now.

“Alright. I promise. I’m sorry for freaking out, that’s not like me.”

“It’s okay, Love, you can speak up about anything with me and I will listen. I don’t want you to be upset around me, ever.”

I knew I should ask him to stop calling me Love also, but I didn’t want to.

“Okay well there’s no need for things to be all down now. It’s my turn to ask you a question, right?”

“Right. Ask away, it is your turn.”

“So what do you do for a living?”

Then he was doing it again. He was looking around like he might find an answer in the people around us for what to say. It was like he walked into this situation with me, knowing he wouldn’t be able to tell me things, but he didn’t think it all the way through.

His face lit up slightly like he got an idea of what to say. I thought he really didn’t think that I was noticing these mannerisms, but I continued to let it slide.

I was, after all, having a surprisingly wonderful time even though we were simply just asking each other questions.

“I work for an investment company. They send me traveling around the world to scout out possible investment opportunities. New Orleans is my home base though. I’ve always loved it here.” He said confidently.

He paused for a moment to take a sip from his drink, and then continued on. “I’m surprised we didn’t meet each other sooner. Did you move here later in life or are you from here? I’ve been around a while.”

I looked down as i spoke. “I’ve lived here my whole life. I’ve only really travelled one time and it was when I was very young. I’ve always been here. All 23 years of my life. Where are you from?”

“I’m from the north, I was born in a town called Utica. It’s in the middle of New York. I don’t really miss it though, there’s something about New Orleans that’s just so free.” Elijah responded thoughtfully. “Where was the one place you travelled to when you were a girl?”

I almost got excited when a began to talk about it, it was one of my only good memories from growing up, but I held myself back so that I didn’t come off as childish.

“I went to New Mexico. My mom has a well-off sister that lives there. We drove the whole way and although there was a whole bunch of nothing on the way, it felt amazing to see all the things on the way that just simply weren’t the same things I saw every day. And my aunts house, oh, it was breath taking.” I was gushing talking about it no matter how hard I tried. “The culture in New Mexico is so different too. New Orleans is very colorful, but New Mexico was colorful in a completely different way. It was a palette I’d never seen before with so much mystery in my young eyes. I was only six.”

Elijah was watching me in admiration as i talked about one of the few times I held close to my heart.

“My mother and aunt stopped talking when we left though. I don’t know exactly what happened between them but I remember hearing them yelling at each other the last night before we left. We’d only been there for three days. My aunt was telling my mom that she would never change and she’d always let the wrong thing control her life. I didn’t understand at that age what she meant, but I know now that my mom must have done something to try and get drugs while we were there. She probably stole from my aunt or just flat out asked for a stupid amount of money. I don’t know.”

I could feel my tone growing more and more sad. Elijah was getting closer to me by the second and he looked like he wanted to wrap his arms around me. I realized that I was getting closer to him too, and I hadn’t even noticed it. It was like we just gravitated to each other naturally. When I realized this I kind of scooted my stool back a little and turned back towards the bar.

“So obviously I never got to go back. There’s a lot of places I would also love to visit of course, but if I got the chance to go somewhere again I would probably go there again. I’d go so that I could control the outcome of my trip and experience everything again now that I’m all grown up and I’d remember it all better. I’d love that so much. I don’t even know what city we were in, my mom wont talk about her sister now, but I think I’d be happy to go anywhere in the state.”

I really didn’t mean to share this much, but I’d also never had anyone be so interested in anything I’d had to say.

Elijah looked sad, but also awestruck by everything I’d just said.

He reached his hand up as if to touch my cheek and then stopped his hand halfway and grabbed his drink instead.

“Thank you Salem, truly, for sharing that story with me. I am very grateful for it. I’m also very sorry that the ending was so sad for you. I’ve been to New Mexico many times if you would like for me to share a*********s with you. It would be my pleasure.”

I could feel my face light up a little bit.

“Maybe another time. That’s enough sad stuff from me. If i keep going we’ll be here all night talking about how depressing my life has been.” I laughed.

“I don’t think I’d mind being here talking to you all night, no matter the subject matter.”

He was so sweet. I wanted to be close to him so bad. This was one of the craziest feelings I’d ever had.

I had to change the subject to something else.

“Well, what is your most favorite place you’ve ever visited? Somewhere in Europe, with good pasta?” I was giggling at him.

“Actually, it’s here. That’s why I chose to live here. And I’m glad I did. It helped me find you. My new friend.” Elijah was gazing at me as he said that although I was trying so hard not to take him seriously.

“So what was your first time in The Big Easy like then?” I asked.

His expression changed a little and it looked like he was recalling a memory that was vastly further away than mine was.

“It was a lot like your time in New Mexico. I was very young, and the whole memory feels like a happy blur now. Everything was so colorful and new. I discovered more kinds of freedom here than I thought I ever would. I met all kinds of people that had things in common with me that I thought very few others did. I felt like their was air beneath my wings and I was flying for the first time. It was wonderful.” Their was so much admiration and distance in his tone. He seemed like such a normal guy, a wealthy one, but normal. I wondered what he meant by what he said. I figured it was more of whatever he was trying to hide from me so I decided not to ask what he meant.

“I’ve just always been here so i never even thought of this place being special to someone else. I know people like coming here to party but I figured that everyone just agreed this was a fun place to get drunk and it didn’t really go past that. I wish I could see New Orleans the way you do. I’d probably be a lot happier.”

This time he didn’t stop himself and he did, in fact, lightly stroke my cheek. He didn’t go any further than that but there’s no way he didn’t feel the electricity that I felt when his skin touched mine. I didn’t realize until then that it was the first time we’d made any sort of physical contact.

While stroking my cheek he said “I hope that I can help you be a lot happier. You’re too beautiful to look as sad as you do all the time. Your smile can light up the world.”

I didn’t respond. I just moved my face away from his hand. I hadn’t let myself think of how guilty i felt for a while. Their was no way not to when he touched me. I knew Caleb was at home waiting for me, but I was still sitting here talking to Elijah as if I’d known him forever. Although I really didn’t know him at all.

From that point forward we talked about everything. Literally anything we could think of, and we talked all night. The bar had even closed and we had moved to the bench outside to continue our conversation because it would look extra weird if I came home as soon as the bar closed, since I normally had to stay an hour or so afterwards to get everything cleaned up.

Around 3:30 in the morning, Elijah and I finally parted ways. It was without incident, as I could tell he was trying to be respectful of my relationship and also didn’t want me to push him away out of guilt.

I made it home after driving a little drunker than I should have, but I’d had such a good time I didn’t even notice how much alcohol I’d consumed.

I walked in the front door of the home I shared with Caleb and all of the lights were off. He was already fast asleep. When I opened our bedroom door, Caleb was peacefully sprawled out on our bed, resting like a baby. I stared at him for a moment before turning back around and collapsing outside the door as i closed it back behind me.

I was bawling my eyes out. I felt like such an awful human being. I was so wrong for the night that I’d had.

When I finally pulled myself together, I curled into a ball on the edge of the bed so I wouldn’t disturb Caleb as the tears dried on my face.

Almost as if he felt my presence, he wrapped himself around me.

For the first time in a long time, I didn’t have any issues falling asleep. I closed my eyes and drifted into dreams right away, because I knew that at that moment I didn’t need to look at other people’s lives and wish for more. I had too much.