Uncle's Hands

DADDY

His lips were moist and warm, pressed against mine, the wine we had been drinking tasted in his kiss. A spark ignited from where our lips met, sending a shiver down my spine. It started as a tentative brush, full of longing and uncertainty. His fingers tugged on the wisps of my hair as he deepened the kiss.

The car slowed, pulling me out of what was a mix of the past and my imagination. The kiss had happened, but my mind had filled in the blanks, and I wasn’t sure where the kiss started, and what was made up by my mind.

“Zoey, that was a mi...”

“Can we go to your house instead?” My voice came out shaky as I cut him off. I knew what he was going to say and I would rather not hear it.

My eyes were on the brown-colored house in front of us. Swallowing, I looked away, but I could tell he was looking at me with worry. I didn’t want that from him.

Without another word, he pulls the car away from the house, and down the street, with the house behind us, I find I could breathe better.

Uncle Levi lived a block away, but it seemed like a whole new world, it was obvious the people who lived here had money to spare. I spent a lot of time here. In fact, it is safe to say I grew up here.

The houses here were more familiar to me than my own bedroom down the block. I didn’t help him bring in the groceries. He almost called something so perfect a mistake.

“Kate isn’t home.” I said to myself, a fact that brought a huge smile to my face, it was just the two of us here, just like that night.

Looking down at my outfit, jean shorts, a crop tank top, and sneakers, I never expected to run into him, so I didn’t put in any effort. I shut my eyes and cussed under my breath. What I wanted was for him to forget everything he knew about me and think of me as an adult woman. I had to change my clothes.

“Can I use the shower? Grit from the trip and all.” I said when he returned with the last of the groceries and my suitcase.

I watch as he swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing once, and then twice when his eyes rake me in, I smile to myself. I know his mind was conjuring up images of me in the shower, since I think about him in that light very often.

“Your room is as you left it.” His voice betrays him, it comes out a little throaty.

Dropping my hand on top of his, I felt his muscles stiffen under my touch, he blinked fast and looked away from my face, clearing his throat. He snatches his hand to himself when my hand is wrapped around it.

“Go on then, you must be hungry. I will get started on the grill.”

“If my room is as I left it, the lock hasn’t been replaced? The bathroom lock too?” I said in a sultry tone. My teeth sucking in the corner of my lip to let him know I wasn’t talking about how he ruined both locks to get me out.

“I didn’t want to open it until you were back. I will have it fixed soon.”

“Why? Was it too much of a reminder of me? Of that night...”

He turns around and walks away before I could finish. He was avoiding it, pretending it didn’t happen, but that was okay, we were alone right now, and there was time to make sure he remembered.

Inside my room is exactly what you imagine a teenager’s room should look like. First it looked like a kid’s room, and then a tween, and when I could decorate it myself, it looked like what I thought was mature, and I see I had to redo it if uncle Levi was going to see me as anything other than his best friend’s kid he had to look after.

I don’t spend a lot of time in the bathroom, Kate was going to come back anytime soon, and before she did, I wanted the dynamic of our relationship to change.

My hair was easy to do, since I already spent a lot of money on it yesterday before coming back. I dressed in a black dress that clung to me like second skin, stopping just below my butt, revealing sides of the tattoo on my inner thigh, that was the goal, the interest in the tattoo... surely his eyes would roam.

When I return to him, he is in the apron I got for him years ago. It said Daddy in the most playful font, so I assume he meant I was calling him father, which would never happen. I am guessing he wore the apron to remind me that he could very well be my father.

He didn’t look up from his work. That was fine, he was going to look at me in the end anyway. Reaching for the wine he put in the ice bucket, I poured a glass for him, and one for myself.

“Cheers.” I tell him, my voice still low, he might not be their age, but it drove boys crazy back in school when I did it. There’s a flicker of something in his eyes, but he quickly looks away.

“The others aren’t here yet...”

“And we can get started without them. Think of it as pre-game. “ I paused, scanning his face for any indication I was on the right path. Nothing. Still, I forge ahead,

“Are you scared of getting drunk with me again?”

His chopping pauses,

“Zoey, I can’t remember what happened that night, it was an accident.”

I leaned in, there was so much in his eyes, but none of it was regret, and that was what I wanted. I didn’t need him regretting anything I wanted to do.

“How do you know it was an accident if you cannot remember?”

He breathes out hard, his lower lip slightly vibrating from the effort, my eyes fall on his mouth again, the fullness of it, the softness... I knew I wasn’t imagining it, my mind could not make that up.

He took the glass from me and took a sip, and then took another. It was his favorite wine, he couldn’t resist. It became my favorite easily. He was a wine drinker, in his cellar was a collection of different wines, and after spending a lot of time tasting them, I was still drawn to his favorite.

I take a sip, but I watch him from over the rim of my glass. He returned to chopping the vegetables. My eyes, no matter how much I tried, returned to his arms. The muscles bulged from use. A gasp escapes me when my mind plays an image of his hands roughly squeezing my thighs.

Heat pool between my legs. Suddenly my throat was parched. I finish everything in my glass, letting the sourness swim down my throat.

“I think about it all the time...”

His chopping slows, then he blinks, resuming as if I said nothing, but he knew what I was talking about.

I walked around the island, so that I was right beside him, his eyes fell on the dress, and the length, I watched him struggle to look away, his eyes move from the furry slippers on my feet, up my legs, lingering on my thighs.

My fingers grip the glass tightly, my breathing shallow, I closed the distance between us as his eyes fell on the sweetheart neckline, the top of my breasts were on display, the teardrop necklace he had given me as a present last Christmas splayed on top of them.

His jaw worked hard, I could see the fight in his eyes, he had a number of reasons not to, I had to make the choice for him.

Unlike the night before his wedding, we weren’t drunk, and I kissed him first.