Regret and Longing
977 Words
Nathaniel Pov
What happens when the calls doesn't come anymore? When you get home waiting to get welcome by your adorable wife but she's no longer there.
The dinning feels empty without here. Yet I torture her so much but I still want her by my side always.
I admit I have been acting like a jerk all these while but I know Priscilla she will always crawl back to me.
She loves me so much and won't let me go so easily. She just pulling up s**t just to get my attention.
She just going to come back..I always say to myself, crawling and begging for me to take her back but I'm wrong she was never going to come back to me.
My life got ruined by my ego and pride yet I watched the woman that sacrificed so much for me suffer yet I never acknowledged her presence.
And when she's gone I feel worse.
I feel like s**t without her, it feels like the world is meaningless without her.
I want her and I will do anything willing to have her back but she's gone leaving me with just a letter and regret.
I'm going to live my life wishing I read the meanings of those signs. I'm going to live my life wishing I worship the ground she walks in. What could be the worst punishment for me knowing that she wasn't going to come back.
Each morning, I pass by the laundry room hoping she will be ironing my shirt with a smile on her face, all I see is the shadow of her.
I thought I had it checked but I lost it all at once by my foolishness.
When she brought forth the divorce papers. When she caught me cheating on her and she never raised a voice.
I wanted her out by all means but yet the one person I want out of my life gives meaning to it.
“I thought you want to fight to the very end”
I asked Priscilla after she set the divorce papers on the coffee table with her legs crossed.
“Hope you're not trying to get half of my property?”
“I don't want anything from you,” she says calmly.
I studied her for a moment and actually meant it. Could this be a trick or something?
My father forced me to marry her because in their business world, the rich marry the rich.
Priscilla is from a reputable family, with their company doing well. I have refused to invest with them but she seems happy. She has always been happy since our wedding.
I made her a promise, a promise I'm not sure if I can keep anymore.
I made her a promise not to love her back, I will never fall for her but I never realized when I actually did.
“Is this a means to go crying to my father, I'm not cut in for that drama”
She shakes her head, sliding off her wedding ring. She cherished that piece of jewel and never went anywhere without it, placing it on the divorce papers.
“No drama. I want out. You win. You always do” she says defeated.
“It is better for the both of us to cool off” I have always wanted out of my marriage.
I did everything possible, treated my wife like cabbage, f****d other women Infront of her yet she didn't mind, she watched me with tears in her eyes and yet I couldn't see the trauma.
I know she was but I never considered it because I was too care free to even care. She wants the marriage but I don't anymore and hearing her talk about divorce was the happiest day of my life.
I'm quick to take it to the media that we are already divorcing and have just 30 days waiting period but the comments make me think twice.
What if she changes her mind? What if this is just a trick for her.
I confronted her and she asked me to do 10 things with her, those that I neglected and each moment I made it sour for her with my words.
Only if I pay more attention, only if I take those tiny details seriously. She wanted me by her side yet those requests of hers made it worse each moment.
The boat cruise, the dinner. I made it all about someone else, another that doesn't matter to me anymore.
I owe my life to my wife, if only she could give me just 10 seconds to make everything right. I will cherish her for the rest of my life.
“Is this a game to you?” she shakes her head, her eyes begging. I can never say no to those eyes.
Not like I didn't have a choice but she promised if I fulfill her demands she was going to let me go.
I paid no attention to her even when she looked so pretty, going all out to make me see her just like the beautiful ladies out there and even more beautiful with her good heart but I never saw those because of my ego.
She will never leave me and I have always capitalized on that. Priscilla loved me more than anyone else but I never thought I would experience a day when she would hate me so desperately and make me beg for her love.
When most people call it, the end. I choose to see a beginning, the beginning of my mystery.
I will live the rest of my life wishing I did things the right way and begging for just a fraction of seconds to be with the woman I neglected for 3 years of our marriage.
The days are here.
- Writer
