CHAPTER 4: CONTROLLED DISTANCE

1136 Words
Jason She walked in and I didn’t look up immediately. I didn’t need to. I already knew it was her. The soft shift in the air, the way her steps hesitated before reaching my desk, the faint click of her heels on the tile, it all screamed her presence. I finished signing the last page of the report and slid it toward her without meeting her eyes. “You’re late,” I said. My voice was calm. Flat. Professional. Nothing like yesterday. “I’m not. It’s barely nine,” she said, and I could hear the slight quiver in her tone, the way she was measuring my reaction. “Sit.” I didn’t look at her again. Any flicker of recognition or softness would undo the control I was forcing myself to maintain. She hesitated before sitting, and I ignored it. “This is about the Henderson file. You missed two inconsistencies,” I said, sliding the document closer. My eyes stayed on the next report. “I checked that file twice,” she replied. “Then check it again.” Her gaze followed mine even though I refused to meet it. I could feel her watching, trying to read me like she had before. She had to believe nothing had changed. “You called me in for this?” she asked, a slight edge of hesitation in her voice. “Yes,” I said. Nothing more. I could almost hear the thought in her head. Yesterday. That moment. When I said your name. Not today. Not now. “You’re distracted. Fix it.” I added. Her eyes shifted slightly, just enough for me to notice. Her lips parted for a fraction of a second before pressing together. She wanted a reaction. I didn’t give one. “I’m not distracted,” she said. “You are,” I replied. My tone didn’t rise. It didn’t need to. The certainty in my voice was enough. She held my gaze longer than she should have, and then she looked away. Good. That was how this had to be. “Close the door on your way out.” She hesitated, then left. The soft click of the door closing echoed in my mind. I let my head fall back against the chair, staring at the ceiling. I shouldn’t be thinking about her. And yet, I am. She is my employee. And yet, I remember her voice. I remember the way her eyes found mine without permission. I remember the way her hand lingered for a heartbeat too long on the edge of the desk. My phone buzzed. I almost ignored it. I glanced at it. Her name didn’t flash across the screen. It was her, the one from before. My ex. Timing is always perfect, isn’t it? I opened the message. Can we talk? I stared at the words longer than I should have. I knew exactly what it meant. Familiarity. Control. History. She doesn’t look at me like that. She doesn’t challenge me like that. Amariah does, and it drives me insane. It shouldn’t matter. And yet, my eyes flicked toward the office door again. Just for a second. This goes nowhere. It has to. And yet, her voice lingers. Amariah I didn’t understand what just happened. I lingered outside his office for a few seconds after the door closed, staring at nothing. That was it? That was all? Yesterday had felt real. Too real. And today, it was as though it had never happened. I walked back to my desk slowly, the weight in my chest growing heavier with every step. He was just being professional. That’s what I wanted, right? So why did it feel like something was off? I sat down, opened the file, and read the same line three times. My mind kept drifting to yesterday. To the way he had leaned just slightly too close. To the faint tremor in his voice when I said his name. And today, not even a hint of what had happened yesterday. “Amariah,” a voice broke through my thoughts. I blinked and looked up. My best friend Kelly hovered beside my desk. “You okay? You’ve been staring at that file for ten minutes.” “I’m fine,” I said quickly. “You don’t look fine. Don’t lie… You’ve been staring at that file like it offended your ancestors.” I forced a smile. “Kelly, I’m just tired.” She nodded, unconvinced, and walked away. I looked back down at the file, but the words blurred. If yesterday meant nothing, why did it feel like it had? I flipped the page. Didn’t read it. Something had shifted. I felt it. I pressed my fingers to my temple and exhaled slowly. He’s my boss. That’s it. Nothing more. And yet, I replay the memory of him saying my name, the way he moved, the calm authority in his voice. It shouldn’t matter, and yet it does. I straightened in my seat, forcing my attention to the work in front of me, but the feeling doesn’t leave. It lingers, quiet, unsettling, growing like a storm that refuses to break. Every glance toward his office, every imagined flicker of his eyes, every memory of yesterday makes it harder to focus. I catch myself smiling faintly, thinking of nothing, and then scolding myself for doing it. I focused on the file. It didn’t work. James I barely caught half of what my coworker was saying. “James, did you get that?” “Yeah. Yeah, I got it,” I muttered. I didn’t. Not really. My mind had been elsewhere for the past twenty minutes, maybe longer. The numbers in front of me made no sense. None of it did. “I’ll send you the updated version later,” my coworker said, leaving. I nodded absently. The moment I was alone, my chest tightened. This is getting out of hand. It wasn’t just jealousy. It was something worse, something I couldn’t name. Uncertainty. I can’t control this. I can’t control what’s happening there, in her life, with her boss. And that thought sits wrong with me. Very wrong. She said he stood close. She said she didn’t understand. That was worse. Men like him don’t stop. They test boundaries—until someone breaks. What if it goes further? I don’t even want to imagine it. I stood up and paced, running my hands through my hair. No. I need to think straight. Overreacting won’t help. Ignoring it won’t help either. I grabbed my phone, stared at her contact, and locked it again. Not yet. I am not going to be that guy. Not yet. But if that man crosses a line again, if he makes her uncomfortable, I will not stay quiet. Not from her. Not anymore.
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