Reclaiming Herself—Completed

Chapter Twenty-Five

Danielle.

Carefully masking her facial features, she ignored each stab of pain that pulsed through her body as she walked down the stairs towards the car that awaited them. She could handle the pain, though. She was used to hiding it and making it seem as though she was fine. What she could handle was his looks of constant worry. It was painfully obvious to Danielle how much Patrick already cared about her. There was not one unmated person around them as they approached the car. She felt safe in a way she had forgotten, like a child with their father. There was a feeling that no matter what happened, he would put her safety above his own.

Danielle both cherished the knowledge and loathed it. She knew that Patrick would choose her in a heartbeat and that she could probably be happy with him. However, in the back of her mind, she knew that she was too broken to fully feel anything for anyone, let alone her mate. She was a shell of the person she had wanted to become. Richard had taken everything from her and left her devoid of real emotion or passion.She didn’t know how to be herself any longer. She only knew how to put forth the person that he had wanted. How could Patrick want her now? How could he love a mate that was damaged beyond repair? How could she be a luna to his people, and in turn, how could those people accept a luna who wouldn’t be able to meet them emotionally or understand them?

Patrick opened the car door for her, and she ducked into it. There had been a cool breeze that had wafted over her body as they walked outside that she now missed as she sat in the stuffy car.

“Full blast the AC, please,” Patrick stated as he climbed into the backseat with her.

A wave of dizziness crashed over her as she felt beads of sweat drop down her face. She felt hot all over her body, like a furnace cranked to the max. Patrick’s hand felt cold as it swiped along her forehead. It sent relief as well as desire coursing through her. Her body told her that mating with him was the right thing to do. It would end her suffering. But her head told her that it would be a foolish mistake and that she would only cause him pain down the line. She would not be able to give him what he wanted. She was incomplete. She didn’t have love to offer him.

“When we get to the house, you’ll be able to cool off properly.”

“Thank you,” she said weakly.

She was fighting with herself to keep from jumping him right there. She wanted his body to satisfy hers, to take away the burning feeling, and to make her forget her past. It was taking everything within her to fight the urge. The kiss they had shared had instantly soothed her desires. His lips had been the antidote she was seeking. It had been sweet yet passionate. It had warmed her body in a different way. The tingles had chased the pain away, leaving only pleasure behind.

“Are you–”

Danielle grabbed his hand before it could finish pushing the hair away from her neck. Even the small amount of contact was driving her insane.

“Don’t. I can’t…I can’t control myself,” she breathlessly pleaded. “You may have stopped yourself from indulging, but I–I can’t.”

Danielle loosened her hold, but he gripped her neck instead and pulled her closer to him after unbuckling her seatbelt. She looked over at him in surprise and saw that his eyes were full of lust. Their foreheads touched, and a second later, his lips crashed into hers. Her arms wound around his neck, and she climbed into his lap, straddling him. She could feel his excitement growing in his pants, and she instinctively began slowly grinding. He let out a moan as his hands slid up her dress. Their tongues clashed, and he nipped at her bottom lip, sending shivers down her spine. Her body felt alive being pressed up against his. All traces of pain were gone, and there was nothing except the deep desire to be one with this man. She began to pick up the pace of her grinding on him until a nervous cough broke her fervor.

Reality crashed down on her, and she jerked away from him, breaking their kiss. She then quickly slid off his lap and buckled herself back into her seat. Her face was as red as a tomato in embarrassment. She couldn’t look at the driver nor Patrick, but felt him shift awkwardly in his seat.

Patrick cleared his throat. “It, uh, seems as though I can’t control myself either.”

“It’s just the heat,” she replied quickly. “When it fades, then this will too.”

The pain she had felt before their exchange flared back up, and seemed to intensify. Every cell in her body seemed to be on fire, down to her fingers and toes. She dug her nails from her right hand into the flesh on her left forearm to keep herself from calling out. Tears blurred her vision, but she blinked them away. This pain would also pass, eventually, she told herself.

The rest of the car ride passed in silence, which she was grateful for. As they pulled into the driveway, there was no one to greet them. Both Danielle and Patrick got out of the car, which then drove off as soon as she had walked around the front of it.

She looked at the small bungalow before her. It was jade green with a wooden front door. Carolina Jasmine climbed up the left side up to the roof, covering it with small, yellow flowers. It was bright and cheery, which was a stark contrast to how she felt. Things had been insanely awkward since she had abruptly ended their moment.

“This will be where you’ll stay for the next couple of days,” Patrick said, opening the door.

“This isn’t the pack house?” she asked, passing him and entering the house.

It was small but comfortable. They entered into a living room on the right with a small two-seater couch, coffee table, and another small chair. Attached was a kitchen with a wooden table big enough for four. The kitchen had a smattering of cabinets and appliances on the counters. She leaned over to look down a short hallway which had three doors.

“No, this is a place that I keep private. It has a main bedroom and a bathroom. But there is also a guest room and an extra bathroom. The place is yours until your heat has passed. No one will bother you, and tomorrow you’ll meet Brenda, Beta Matthew’s mate, to help you with anything you need. The kitchen is stocked, and before I leave, we’ll fill the tub with ice for you.”

“Oh, thank you,” she replied, not knowing what else to say.

“Um, here’s a phone,” he said, handing her the device. “My number is already in there, and so is Brenda’s. If you need anything…”

“Again, thanks,” she said, taking the phone.

He gave her a mirthless smile, and then his eyes gazed over her arm. He immediately grabbed it and searched for other wounds.

“It’s, it’s okay,” she said, panicked. “It was just, uh, to help with the pain.”

“Do you do this often?”

“Sometimes…”

He let her arm go and looked like he wanted to say something, but held back. She saw him look at her with such a profound amount of sadness that she had to walk away. She chose to go to the main bedroom, and saw a king-sized bed, dresser, bedside tables, and a sitting area in the back corner. The windows overlooked a grassy, though well-manicured, lawn and surrounding flowering bushes. There was a path that disappeared into the trees. Turning towards the bed, she saw something that made her look twice.

Danielle went to the bed-side table and then turned to face Patrick, who had followed her into the room.

“Wh-what are these?” she asked, flustered.

Her face was getting bright red again.

He shrugged, trying to look nonchalant, but she could see embarrassment creep into his own features.

“I, well…It was Brenda’s idea. So, get mad at her, if you want.”

Danielle looked down at the objects lying innocently on the table.

Patrick continued. “Some of the she-wolves have mentioned that it helps, so I thought that maybe you’d… Goddess, this is so much worse than I imagined.”

She waited for his explanation.

“Fine,” he spat, covering his eyes with his hand. “They’re to help with your heat. If you can’t have your mate help or whatever, using these is supposed to help reduce the pain because you’re getting the same type of pleasure. It won’t fully work because you’ll still be unmated, but at least it’ll help distract you.”

Danielle couldn’t help but break out into a fit of laughter. Patrick uncovered his eyes and stared at her in confusion.

“I know what dildos are, Patrick,” she giggled. “I couldn’t resist forcing you to tell me because you looked so uncomfortable. I knew women who used this trick back home, too. That was, that was priceless.”

Patrick grew more embarrassed as she laughed, which, in turn, caused her to laugh harder.

“The–the ice is here,” he mumbled as he fled the room.

A few minutes later, which gave her time to hide the items in the drawer, Patrick passed through the room to the bathroom and began dumping bags of ice into the large tub. She watched him quietly, and waited until he was finished to thank him. He left shortly after, once he made sure she had everything she’d need. He had informed her that there were warriors patrolling the area, so no one would get to her. Danielle hadn’t wanted him to leave, but knew it was for the best.

She needed to sort out her thoughts, which were a mess. He had already done so much for her, even though she might leave. She couldn’t understand why he would continue being nice to her.

Danielle climbed into the ice bath, rejoicing as the coldness fought against the painful heat she was enduring. After some time, she finally felt like her mind was quieting down. And then she heard it: the voice she’d been missing for well over a year.

I’ve missed you, my dear Dani.

Halla! I can hear you, again! Danielle answered, tears of joy streaming down her face.