Making a sad melt away
828 Words
*Callista*
I want to hide, to be alone with my thoughts, my sorrow. I want to be in my own room, curled in my bed, with a book in my lap.
But here, in this huge house, I have no room that belongs only to me. I have no private sanctuary. No place to call my own.
I close the heavy front door behind me and hold my breath. I hear no voices, no footsteps. Everyone is outside, celebrating my marriage, a marriage I don’t want, a marriage that family obligations forced me to accept.
I tiptoe down the hallway, retracing the steps I had taken earlier in the day until I reach Chase’s office.
Quietly, I open the door and peer inside. Early evening shadows lurk in the corners. Slipping into the room, I close the door. I walk to the chair and sit, pulling my legs onto the soft cushion.
And give the silent tears the freedom to fall.
Chase Moonshadow doesn’t want a wife or a mate. He wants a son.
I feel like a prized mare chosen for the offspring I could produce. Chase Moonshadow cares nothing for my appearance, my wants, my needs, my dreams. I’m not the person he wants by his side as he journeys through life. I’m simply the means to an end.
My thoughts drift back to the kiss Chase had begun on the veranda. I wonder where it might have led. I suppose that Rowan had interrupted us because he knew exactly where it would have taken us.
Rowan’s horrid words slam into me, terrifying me... unless I hold on to the memory of Chase’s kiss. When he had looked at me, before he had kissed me, I had felt... touched, as though his hands were on me when they weren’t. Perhaps if he kissed me again...
I bury my face in my hands. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be a wife or a mate. I don’t want to give him a son.
I hear a soft crackling. I tense, my heart beating at a rapid tempo. I lower my hands and gaze around the room.
I am alone.
The sound comes again as though someone is crumpling paper. Slowly, I ease my feet to the floor and stand.
I hear a thump come from his desk, a bump too loud to have come from a mouse. I hold my breath, waiting, wondering what sort of animals Chase keeps, wondering if I should find him and let him know that one of his creatures has escaped.
Another bump and crackle reaches my ears.
I study his desk. Someone has shoved the chair away. The front of the desk spans its width and nearly reaches the floor, where I see a scrap of blue.
Hadn't the little girl been wearing blue?
Quietly, I sneak across the room and peer around the desk. A tiny black shoe taps the air, the foot moving in rhythm to no music I can hear.
I kneel and look into the alcove where Chase would normally sit. The little girl sits with a kitten cursed up within her lap. Her eyes widen to form huge circles of green.
I smile softly. "Hello. You're Maggie, aren't you?"
The girl nods, scoots forward, and touches her tiny finger to my damp cheek. "You got a sad."
I swipe at the tears that linger on my lashes. "No, not really."
"Yes, you do. I can make the sad go away." She says.
"You can?" I ask.
Maggie nods enthusiastically. She places the kitten on the floor and crawls out from beneath the desk and struggles to pull open a drawer.
I ease a little closer to her. "I don’t think you should play in your uncle’s desk."
Maggie presses her finger to her lips. "Shh." She pulls out a sack and shoves the drawer back into place.
Smiling brightly, she crawls into her previous hiding place and crooks her finger. "Come ‘n."
Folding my body, I work my way under the huge desk, wondering if everything in Chase’s life is big.
"Close your eyes," Maggie says.
"Why?" I ask.
"Unca Cha says so."
Chase had taught the little girl how to make sadness go away? I lower my lashes.
"Open your mouth." She demands.
Hesitantly, I obey. I hear paper crackle. Then something hard skips across my teeth and hits my tongue. I taste sweet and bitter before I spit it into my hand. I stare at the lemon drop.
"When it’s gone, so is your sad," Maggie says. "Unca Cha says so." She reaches into the bag. "I gotta sad, too." She pops a lemon drop into her mouth and snuggles against my side.
Holding the child close, I pop the confection back into my mouth. I hear Maggie smacking as she sucks on the candy.
I am surprised to discover that a little of the sadness does melt away.
- Writer
