Trapped In Life

Soul Exchange (Part 4) - May 10, 2027 2330

“Well, most people call me Death.”

I blinked at him as I said “D-Death.”  I wasn’t used to stuttering, but his proclamation made me.  With everything else which was in my mind, his saying he was Death was the last thing I expected.   It was the last straw.  I had to have gone mad.

“Yes,” he said in an accent I couldn’t quite place. “You can call me Than if it makes it easier on you.”

“Th-Than.” I said. “I’ve gone mad, haven’t I? You’re my psychiatrist treating my psychotic break, right?”

“No,” he said with a slight grin. “You haven’t gone mad. I’m not a psychiatrist. I know it is hard to process, but I really am Death.”

“Ok,” I said taking a deep breath in. “Am I dreaming or dead?”

He grinned slightly. Moving to stand leaning on the bed looking at me, he said “Well, you aren’t asleep and you're not dead. You were in limbo for longer than I usually allow, but that was not under my control. I’m actually here to explain things if you think you are ready to listen and understand.”

Looking at him, I am a bit concerned at how close he is to me. If he really was Death, would it really matter how close he was to me in the great scheme of things? As Death, he could end my existence without caring about the distance between us. “Uhm, I, ah…” I said slowly “I guess I’m as ready as I’m going to be.”

“I can do this in your dreams if you will be able to comprehend it better,” he said looking sympathetically to me.

“Ah, no,” I said “If you do it in a dream, I might think it was just a dream…”

“I doubt that!   While there is some slight likeness between you and Kaitlyn, there are enough differences you would know something of the dream is real.  However, you are probably right in that hearing it here is better.”

I nodded to him thinking I understand him. I truly had no idea how right he was. “Ok,” I said taking in a deep breath. “Please explain what is happening.”

“As you have probably figured out, it has been ten years since you were attacked in your house. You are in the body of Kaitlyn Rose Dupre. She is an actress like you were though not quite as accomplished as you were. However, you must have a huge number of questions running around in your head. So, let me start with ten years ago,”  Death or Than said as he sat on the end of my bed.

“Ten years ago, you died. However, it was not your time to die. So while I had to take your soul, I couldn’t send you on where you would be judged and placed where you would gain your reward or punishment. I had to put your soul in stasis. I’ve been looking for a solution for you since,” he said as his hands moved on the table.

“Then this opportunity came up. Kaitlyn is dead. It was her time to die. However for the completion of a test proving you wish to live and continue your paused life, The timing of her death at the same moment you died ten years ago allowed for this. If you want it, if not, I’m not sure what more I can do for you. I can put you back into stasis, but since your thread is knotted, not cut, I can’t send you forward.”

His expression of apology was on his face, though he didn’t outright say it. Kaitlyn Dupre was dead. I was,…my soul was in her body. This was his solution to my life being cut short. I blinked before I said, “How do I prove myself?”

There was a slight curl to the edges of his mouth. It wasn’t a full grin, There was something I couldn’t discern about it as well. Finally, he speaks again. “Well, it has two parts. First, you have to prove you want to live. You do this by continuing Kaitlyn’s life. Succeed in the dreams she had for herself. It should be easy for you since you’ve already fulfilled her dreams once before. That was why I felt she was perfect for you. Her dreams for the future were your reality ten years ago.”

“Second, you need to resolve your own death. I’m sure now you know you were killed, you are trying to think of who would have killed you. If you need that to move on, find out. If not, don’t. Same for Kaitlyn’s death. But you need to come to a resolution with them in your own mind. You have to deal with them in some way and move on.”

The first seemed very easy. The second, I thought I could just let go of what happened, possibly. I could find what gave me peace with both deaths though, while I made Kaitlyn Dupre the next Screen Goddess. Maybe I could even take her higher than I had been. The real question was how do I prove it to him.

He was watching me carefully with his eyes. He grinned a bit more, but I could tell he wasn’t telling me everything. Who could force the truth from Death? He wasn’t going to tell me everything. Something was left out of his explanation. “So,” he said finally. “Do you think you can earn your second chance or do I take your soul back with me to put you back in stasis forever?”

There was part of it. If I didn’t take this chance, I went back with him in eternal stasis. I could tell there was more, but he wasn’t going to tell me. He watched my eyes as I looked at him letting my mind process everything he had told me. I took a deep breath hoping my voice didn’t fail me.

Starting, I said “I want to be sure I understand everything. I died ten years ago. My body is gone.”

He nodded not interrupting my words.

“Someone killed me and killed this Kaitlyn Dupre. Because of the timing of her death and the fact my life thread wasn’t cut, you were able to put my soul which has been frozen in stasis for ten years. She was on her way to be what I was. So to keep her body, I have to first complete that dream which I shared. I have to climb my way back up the entertainment world.”

He nodded again still not speaking.

He let me continue so I said “Second, I need to find some resolution to my and her death. Some way to resolve them in my mind and her body so that the two are completely linked together. Either I have to find both our killers or find a way to live with the mystery of both of us being killed while working on the same film. Regardless of the fact, the two murders could be connected and may not be.”

He nodded with his half smile which made me believe he still had more he wasn’t telling me. I wasn’t sure he ever would tell me the whole truth. Who can expect Death to tell you everything?

“My option is to do this or go back into that frozen stasis with no chance of life being completed or of moving on in the afterlife for eternity. This is because my life ‘thread’”, I said actually doing air quotes at him. “Has not been cut only knotted? Is knotting like something that never happens?”

He looked at me as he considered my last question. “No,” he said after careful consideration. “You are actually one of the very few it has ever happen to. It put your life on pause. The Moirai don’t usually knot a life thread; usually, they cut it when life is over.”

“So what makes me different?”

“On that, I’m honestly not sure,” Death said with a look that told me he was telling the truth. “All I have heard is Atropos was told not to cut it. I don’t know by whom. I usually am not involved in that part of death.”

“So you don’t know, but you took my soul and kept it?”

“Yes,” he said matter of factly.

I thought about what he told me. I was already in this body - Kaitlyn Dupre’s body. Another question came to mind. I watched his eyes as I said “What happens to Kaitlyn if I say no or I fail?”

“Her soul is already gone to the next step. So her body will die.”

I swallowed as Death finished his statement. “The only chance for her body to live is me?”

“Yes, but then that really doesn’t matter does it. She’s already dead. Only your soul being in her body keeps her alive.”

“Will her body take on my soul’s attributes?”

“Physically, no. Any non-physical attributes, yes.”

“So skills I had in song, dance, acting?”

“Those are part of your soul. They will take some time as you get used to the body, but they will re-emerge.”

“What aren’t you telling me?”

Death smiled seemingly impressed with my question when he finally said “I can’t tell you that.”

I frowned. I felt what I didn’t know was going to come back hurt me somehow. I took another deep breath before I nodded saying “Yes, I accept the deal.”