I love you

Ch 4

I silently cry for a good minute and then I hear a voice. “You were never supposed to see her,” he said. I don’t even bother to look up. It’s josh. I stay there and he goes on to apologize over and over again. I sit there and listen but my patience was running alarmingly low. It gets to a point where I’m fed up and get up to leave, grabbing my things. He gets up and grabs my arm and I slap him across the face. He holds his face with anger written all over it. I throw money onto the table and take one last look at the waitress before leaving. I get into my car and drive quickly to my parents house but on the way I pass by my old house and push the brakes. I grabbed the extra keys under the welcome mat and opened the door. I go upstairs and gather my things. My money in our safe and my clothes. Nothing in the room has changed since I left except the feeling of home is gone. I’ve packed half my stuff and head down the stairs but I stop when I see our wedding pictures hung on the wall. I scan through all our photos then I look at that one photo. I was hiding behind the gifts and he’s on the floor laughing and there's cake all over us. My dress was completely covered in cake and so was my face but I had the biggest smile on. I remember how happy I was. It took the photographer 20 minutes straight just for that one photo because we couldn’t stop throwing cake to each other and running around. I remembered how he couldn’t stop crying when I was walking down the aisle. I remember how he was the loudest one to cheer for me when I performed my wedding dance. It was because of him that I had the confidence to do it. That dance that took hours to perfect but was hardly that good when performed. I remembered how hard he’d hugged me during our dance. How safe and loved I felt by his touch. How othing in the world scared me at that moment. This painful feeling grows in my chest and so does anger. I grab all the photos and smash them to the ground, I stare at the mess I've made and a single tear falls from my eye. I slowly walk back realizing what I've done. My back hits the wall and I fall to the floor. Pieces of glass lay shattered around me. I hold my chest and my stomach. I feel sick. I feel like I can’t breathe. I scream in anger, tears rushing down my cheeks. With tears covering my face I made my way out of the house and drove home. The ride home I felt nothing but pain and disbelief. I get home but don’t leave the car and I just stare at the steering wheel. Praying that this isn't real. I feel so empty but then so full of emotion. I go into the house after a while, mom and dad are in the kitchen talking. I don't say aything and rush straight to my room and lock the door behind me. I fall on the bed, exhausted. I lay down and my eyes began to get heavy. I cover my entire body with the blanket. I slept and woke up just staring at the ceiling. I realized I hadn’t taken my outfit from the night before. I got up to take a shower when I got a notification and got up. It’s my plane ticket. It's ready. Then I remember the trip and start to plan again. Three weeks passed and I hadn’t seen them anywhere since that day. It was the day of my flight and i’m all packed and ready, ready to start over. My mom got all the remaining things I needed because I couldn’t leave the house after seeing the two of them that day. They dropped me off at the airport and I gave them the biggest hug I could manage. Hugs weren’t the same since him.