Snitch

Chapter 2

2

At home, Shea pulled off her motorcycle gloves and helmet and rubbed her deeply scarred face, a memento of a childhood dog attack. Overwhelmed with fatigue and a growling stomach, she dragged herself through her garage—navigating around her personal collection of custom bikes—and into her house.

The kitchen was dark, but the aroma of cooked meat and spices lingered in the air. Shea deposited her keys in the blue enameled dish on the breakfast bar, which separated the kitchen from the living room.

Jessica, her girlfriend, sat on the love seat, twirling and untwirling an ebony braid around a finger and staring at her laptop. Their black cat, Ninja, lay curled up next to her. She looked up as Shea closed the door to the garage and tossed her armored hoodie onto one of the mismatched recliners.

“Hey, babe! I was getting worried. It’s after one o’clock.” Jess stretched and nudged Ninja to the floor. The cat meowed in protest but retreated to quiet of the master bedroom.

“Sorry. I shoulda called.” Shea plopped down beside Jessica and gave her a quick peck on the lips. “Damn bike wouldn’t start. Practically took the whole thing apart looking for the problem.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re home safe.” Jessica rubbed Shea’s shoulder. “Your collarbone giving you any problems?”

Shea groaned with pleasure at Jessica’s touch. “Not at all,” she said, wishing it was true. “Annie get to sleep okay?”

“Yeah.” A frown creased Jessica’s face. “Kid at school was teasing her about the scar on her ear.”

“Damn. Ain’t enough that f*****g kidnapper cut her ear off. Now some snot-nosed brat is making fun of her? What the hell’s wrong with people?”

“Her teacher’s going to talk to the parents.” Jessica said. “Want me to heat you up some leftovers?”

“No, thanks. I’m too tired to eat. I do wanna check in on Annie.”

“Don’t wake her.”

Shea crept into Annie’s room and sat on the edge of her bed. The eight-year-old’s cherubic face was highlighted in the glow of a nightlight. The scar where the surgeons had reattached her left ear was still visible. What wasn’t visible was the emotional trauma from her k********g and the death of her parents. But Shea knew it was there, having witnessed her own mother’s murder at the hands of her outlaw biker father.

“Kids are resilient,” the social worker had said after Shea gained custody of Annie.

Shea wasn’t so sure. She only had to look in the mirror to know that some scars lasted a lifetime. And it was this shared trauma that left Shea uncertain what to do. Being around the girl brought up memories Shea had spent years trying to bury.

“I’ll take care of you, Doodlebug,” she whispered.

Annie stirred but remained asleep. Shea walked out, closing the door behind her.

“Annie still asleep?”

Shea nodded and collapsed next to Jessica, resting her head on Jess’s shoulder.

“Shea, I’m worried about Annie. She’s so young to have gone through what she did. Seems like every night she has nightmares. More than a few times she even wet the bed. And now kids at school are picking on her. I think we should take her back to the therapist.”

“She already went three times.”

“She clearly needs more. It takes time to heal. Not just time, but quality time. Now that you’re back at work, you’re hardly ever around.”

“I’m catching up after being out for three months.”

“I know you’re busy, but it feels like . . .” Jess’s face clouded over and she turned away.

Shea tilted Jessica’s chin back until their eyes met. “What?”

Jess sighed. “Feels like you’re avoiding her.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I just sat for ten minutes in her room.”

“While she’s asleep.”

“You want me to wake her up?”

“No, it’s just . . . I don’t know. I guess I’m also worried about you, too.”

“Me? I’m fine.”

“When was the last time you really talked to someone about what happened?” Jess placed her hand on the center of Shea’s chest.

“Whaddya mean what happened?”

“Your sister getting killed. You getting shot.” Jess paused, then whispered, “You killing Annie’s dad.”

“Who’m I supposed to talk to about that? A shrink? They’d arrest me for murder.”

“Not if it was self-defense.”

“What’s a shrink know about what I been through, anyway? Not a goddamn thing, that’s what. All they got is theories and book learning. ‘Tell me your feelings,’” said Shea in a mocking voice. “It’s bullshit. I know what I f*****g feel. Don’t change nothing.”

“Doesn’t have to be a therapist. There’s a group of women I know. They call themselves the Garden Club.”

“Garden Club? I ain’t got time to be planting tomatoes and orchids and shit.”

“They’re not a gardening group. They’re women who get together and discuss things going on in their lives. Not just things, but emotions, struggles, trauma. I hear it’s very spiritually enlightening.”

“Sounds a little touchy-feely, woo-woo.”

“So what if it is? Maybe that’s what you need.”

Shea shook her head. “This girl don’t do touchy-feely.”

“Okay, maybe not them. What about that feminist biker group you mentioned a while back?”

“The Athena Sisterhood?” Shea asked incredulously. “My ex is their president. Remember?”

“Oh. Definitely not them, then. But you need somebody to talk to about what happened.”

“Ain’t nobody wanna hear that shit.” Shea sighed and their foreheads touched. “Besides, I got you to talk to. Ain’t that enough?”

“Might help to talk with someone you’re not sleeping with.”

“I’ll consider it.” Shea nuzzled the side of Jessica’s face with her own. “Right now I just want to spend time with you. In bed.”

Shea and Jessica ambled to the bedroom in a flurry of kisses and gentle caresses. Waves of arousal pushed out the haunting darkness in Shea. She cupped Jessica’s delicate face in her hand, drawn in by the openness and vulnerability in Jess’s eyes. “I really love you, you know.”

“I know.” Jessica pulled off Shea’s shirt and grazed her nails across Shea’s back, causing her to groan. “I love you, too.”

Shea reached under Jessica’s shirt, unhooking her b*a. Her girlfriend’s skin was like the softest silk, her body so feminine. Her scent filled Shea’s senses with notes of cinnamon and rose petals, transporting her to a world of safety and nurturing. A place to let down her guard.

Shea covered Jessica’s chest with kisses, each one a tiny, tender expression of gratitude. Her hand explored farther down, causing Jessica to gasp with pleasure. Jess pressed her pelvis against Shea’s hand as arousal became need.

A high-pitched scream from the other room jolted Shea back into reality. Shields slammed back into place. Shea tensed with frustration, mixed with a need to protect. “Damn.”

“Nooooooo . . . please. Mommy, help me!”

Shea shimmied back into her shirt and jeans and ran into Annie’s room. “It’s okay. You’re safe.”

“Mommy, it hurts.” Annie’s choked cries ripped open Shea’s heart.

She flicked on the bedroom light. Annie’s eyes were still closed, her face flushed and wet with tears.

“Annie, sweetie, wake up. It’s Aunt Shea. You’re home. You’re safe.”

Annie’s eye’s fluttered and took a moment to focus on Shea’s face. “Aunt Shea?”

“Yeah, Doodlebug. It’s me.”

Annie wrapped her trembling arms around Shea’s neck. “I dreamed they came and got me again.”

“I know, baby. I’m so sorry.” Shea sniffled, struggling to control her own feelings. What good am I to Annie if I get all emotional?

“I wish Mommy was still here.”

“Yeah, me, too.”

“She really in Heaven looking down on me?”

“Of course.” Shea wished she believed it herself.

“Daddy, too?”

No, your Daddy’s in hell, where he belongs, Shea wanted to say. “Yeah, him, too.”

“I’m glad I got you.” Annie’s eyes locked with Shea’s.

Shea held the girl’s gaze as long as she could stand before looking away, afraid Annie might see how not-so-strong she was. “I’m glad I got you, too, Doodlebug.”

“Aunt Shea?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we see Grampa Monster and Gramma Julia sometime?”

Shea grimaced. “Why you wanna see them?”

“I miss them.”

“Not sure that’s such a good idea.”

“Why? Monster calls me his little princess. And Julia always made me cookies when I came over.”

“Let me think about it, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now get some sleep and try to dream about something fun.”

“Like what?”

Shea searched her tired mind for something to say. “I dunno, like unicorns and fairies.”

“And riding motorcycles?”

Shea’s smile returned. “Yeah, and riding motorcycles.” She tucked Annie in and stood up.

“Don’t go.”

“You want me to stay here all night?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I gotta sleep in my own bed with Jessica.”

“Please . . .”

“Tell ya what. I’ll stay here till ya fall asleep.”

Annie pouted. “Okay.”

A few minutes later Annie was snoring softly. Shea turned out the light and snuck out.

Jessica was curled up in bed when Shea got undressed and climbed in beside her.

Jess turned over. “How’s Annie?”

“She wants to see Monster and Julia. But I don’t want any member of the Confederate Thunder or their old ladies near Annie. This is her chance to get clear of the violence and bigotry of outlaw biker culture. She deserves better.”

“She’ll be disappointed. What are you going to tell her?”

“I’ll figure something out. For now, I just want to sleep.”

“We’re going to have to do something about her nightmares. We can’t go on like this.”

“She’ll grow out of it. I did.” Shea turned over and let her consciousness dissolve into her pillow.