Hellamorgue

Chapter 14: Nostalgia

Nero stepped out from the bathroom, wearing a white robe. He let out a huge moan of pleasure and satisfaction. A small amount of steams came out together with him. The man surely enjoyed his warm bath. He was drying his hair with a soft white towel. Moderately rubbing it to remove excess water from his hair. The soldier still wears his magical pendant. He never removes it as it is a crucial part of treatment for his well-being. Something bad might happen if it was removed.

Nero marched his way upstairs to go inside his room. He rummaged his closet searching for clothes to wear. A limeade tinted shirt for his top. He grabbed his military green jacket and wore it. A mud brown pants with a black combat boots. Nero stumbled upon his belt bag that contains weapons, potions, first aid kit and many more items. He never left it behind because danger awaits anytime. Despite being a skillful Solacetian soldier, Nero can't use magic unlike the other mage soldiers. With this, he uses magic induced weapons such as guns, bombs and knives that were beyond normal. He wrapped the bag on his waist and locked it. Nero walked towards the mirror and brushed his hair. After styling it, he headed to the window near his bed and took a peek outside. The plaza was quite far from his home but the colorful sparkling lights can be seen far away. At this point, Nero's mind bothered him about attending the festival. It's been four years since the last time he attended. With the years of prioritizing himself made him miss the gleeful crowd for a second. The nostalgic moment of people dancing with the music, the delightful foods and snacks, the entertaining performances on stage, the time everyone seizing the wonderful moment. Even though Nero always attend the festival as a guard, there's no doubt he still enjoyed his time inside the event. The soldier smiled a little. He glided his eyes away from the window and headed to his bed. He sat on it, slouching his back. The man closed his eyes and sighed. He bowed his head and looked at the floor. The whole room was covered in silence.

Nero pondered on his pool of thoughts. He was deciding whether to attend the event or not. For some reason, he wanted to spend his time alone the whole day. It could be because he was not ready yet to interact with people after years of limiting his social life. Nero spent his time all alone from the past years with little socialization, and most of it are from his therapy sessions. At the same time, he wanted to start his new life after his rehabilitation. He wanted to feel the air that the townspeople breath with. He wanted to walk on the sidewalk like he used to do. Talk and communicate with his friends and peers. And even serve the leader once again. Nero grinned as he imagined all the possibilities outside, and all the good things he used to enjoy. As he goes deeper with his thoughts, it gets harder to swim and breathe. For a brief moment, a sharp thought pierced his mind. He narrowed his eyebrows and his warm smile disappeared. He frowned as he clutches to the one bad thought that ruined his reminiscence. It was ringing and stinging. The thought poisoned the calmness of his mind. And his little hesitation grew bigger with a new reason to hold himself from going out.

"What if I lose control inside the festival?"

"What if someone accidentally broke my pendant?"

"What if-"

Before another thought tarnish his mind, the man shook his head aggressively. He raked his head with both of his hands. The soldier yanked himself down the comforter. He faced the basil green ceiling. The soothing color of the ceiling helped him to calm his mind. He breathed in and out. The awful thoughts swirling inside his brain slowly faded away. It was now replaced by a clear picture of the situation. He lurched forward, going back to his sitting position. Instead worrying about it, Nero considered the possible consequences if he joined the townspeople in the plaza. Somebody might broke or remove the pendant on his neck, but to contrast the possibility, his enchanted pendant wasn't that easy to break. And with his current situation, his rehabilitation did help him to improve his mental health. Unlike before, he is less anxious now and more confident. The man's eyebrows curled. Nero let out a huge sigh.

"I just wanted to meet the others." he mumbled softly.

The soldier lifted his head. His eyes drifted to the shelves in front of him. He saw medium sized pictures in frames on the top of the board. Nero stood up from the bed and stepped forward. The loud tapping of his feet resonated inside the room. When his feet reached the shelf, he saw three paintings rather than photos shot by a camera. He remembered those paintings were done when he was still in his planet, Solacetia. Each stroke was beautifully done and brought out nostalgic memories. He stared on it one by one. The paintings were supported by sturdy picture frames thus explaining why it was still in good condition despite being antique, although the other paintings were slightly damaged. The first painting was a self-portrait of Nero when he was still in his twenties, nothing much changed from his physical appearance in the present day aside from his actual old age, grew taller and built more meatier. The second frame was a painting of five people. There were four men, including Nero himself and one girl. They wore military suits, armors and olive green cloaks, implicating that they were all soldiers and most likely was Nero's troops. Three of them were mages while Nero and the other lad were both regular soldiers. Nero stared at the painting with both discomfiture and tenderness. Something in the painting made him a little upset, at the same time a bittersweet feeling. On the last frame was a painting of three people. The same set of soldiers from the previous painting although two persons were missing. Nero was in the middle, on his right side, a tall man standing firm and looking at the front with a fierce look on his face. On Nero's left side, was a small lad smiling so wide. The soldier gently grabbed the painting and looked at it closer. Nero stroked the painting with his delicate hand. His eyebrows curled and his eyes went teary. A single painting that held a thousands of memories. The two men on the painting were his closest friends. Nero remembered the good old days he spent with the two. He pictured out the memorable moments they shared; their training inside the camp, the making of tents and camping outside, the ghost tale-tellings, errands and other painful and gleeful events that passed long ago. Unfortunately, the two of them were long gone caused by the great war back in his planet thousands of years ago. They fought and died with honor by fighting for their world and people till their last breath. Multiple soldiers and Solacetian people died during the war and even cost the planet itself. Nero managed to survive with the help of a fortunate yet risky option he stumbled upon back then. It was something that Nero hides from everyone and never talked about. Before the soldier's mind wander the darkest parts of his memories, he wiped the tears out from his eyes. He stared at the painting one last time and placed it back to the shelves. The soldier put his hands together and closed his eyes. Nero gently bowed his head to pay his respect to his dead comrades. Silently, he prayed for their souls, by thanking them and wishing them the best life in the afterlife.

"Leandro and Mino, I hope the two of you were doing great wherever you are in the afterlife. Thank you for creating memories with me and being a part of a journey in my life. I wish we could have been together a little longer...." the dark haired man prayed.

"I miss you two so much..." he followed with his voice cracking up.

Nero raised his head and go back to the bed. He sat down on it and later on laid his back. He turned around on his right side and stared at the window. The bright sunlight was reflecting on the thin curtains. The whole room was quiet. His heart was full of overwhelming feelings after he saw the paintings. A bittersweet feeling of loss and longing. Nero felt he was reaching for a light he cannot reach. It was far from the ground he's standing in. He misses his friends, he misses all the moments they created. He missed the feeling of spending time with someone you trust and rely. What could possibly heal his broken heart at this moment?

Nero heard noises again outside his home. People were chatting about the event. They enthusiastically described everything inside and invited more people to come. The soldier overheard everything, once again, he pondered on his thoughts. Maybe the occasion could heal a broken piece of his heart. Maybe he can reunite with his friends and talk to his peers inside. Maybe, even a little, something could make up with his lost years of fun. Nero reconsidered his thoughts and finally came up with one conclusion. He will attend the festival, hoping to keep something dearly inside his heart. To create more memories that he could go back on in his fantasies. The man yanked himself out of the bed. He arranged his bed and clothes. Before leaving the room, Nero looked over his shoulder and glanced at the painting on his shelves. He brought out a little smile and closed the door. The man ran down through the stairs. Nero blew the scented candles and made sure nothing was left lighten. The soldier marched his way out of the door. He locked it and turned around. The people chatting outside were surprised by his sudden appearance. His height was tall enough to loom over the assorted beings. The creatures glanced at him from head to toe. One person recognized him as a soldier.

"Oh, hey! Aren't you a soldier? I've been seeing you around before!" said by the man while pointing his finger to Nero.

"Ah, yes. Ahaha. I am." the soldier awkwardly replied with a chuckle.

It's been a while since he interacted with the residents of the town. His heart was pounding, not so loud but was enough to felt beneath his clothes. He felt a little nervous and excited at the same time. His body went cold and hot. It felt like he was sweating but no liquid can be seen flowing on his body. Nero just smiled to the creatures. The group of people then, smiled back to the soldier.

"I haven't seen you around for a long time. Have you been away?" the man continued asking.

"Yeah... I've been away for a while..." Nero responded while scratching his nape. A wobbly smile on his face and his eyes were avoiding people's.

"Are you on duty?" a woman suddenly barged in and asked. She was looking above to see the man's face.

"Oh, no. I am on my break." the soldier replied while waving his hands in disagreement.

"I see. We're heading to the plaza. Would you like to escort us?" the woman followed.

The other beings glanced at the woman and then looked at him afterwards. They were waiting for his response. Nero stared at the people's faces one by one. Not long, he smiled warmly and replied,

"I would love to!"

The people cheered up and thanked the dark haired man. Nero happily guided the residents and lead their way to the plaza. The soldier felt a refreshing feeling inside his head. An exuberant feeling flew down through his veins. Every parts of him went lively. A good way to start his new life inside the town.