Black Roses

Chapter Four - Samuel

The late night rush of the dinner orders flood into the kitchen. Chef's wearing their white uniforms, rushing calmly around the small, enclosed space. The heat from the stoves pouring out through the doorway. Even from outside, Samuel can hear the sizzling of meat and smell the sweet scent of berries from inside the pies pastry. I should be in there, he thinks. Standing in the dirty, damp alleyway, staring intently into the blistering kitchen, Samuel wishes he could feel the rush and the motion of the kitchen again. He wants to be able to taste all the flavours of the food and actually enjoy chewing. Craving to be human again.

Flashing inside his mind, visions of his former self standing there in the kitchen, blinds him. As if he is reliving the moment, he can feel his hands kneading the dough, can hear the ticking of the timer, can see the sauce simmering in its pot, can feel the rush of that life drown him in hunger.

Engulfed in a fantasy of his past life, Samuel doesn't notice anything from the present time. A woman walks over to him and stands beside him, completely unseen. But she wanted his attention, she rubs her fingers across his arm, forcing his eyes to her. The contact makes him jump. She tries to comfort him with a smile but he shrugs her away and continues his gazing longingly into the white tiled room. Of all the people he longed to see, this woman was not one of them. "I told you to leave me alone, Catey."

"And I've told you. I'm not leaving. I love you. And I know you love me too."

Catey is a young human girl that Samuel accidentally ran into a few months ago. The girl had just finished high school and was looking for a grand adventure to make her life extraordinary. On her search, she found Samuel. A sad old man who stood and stared into kitchens any chance he got. In the beginning, Samuel played along. He was intrigued by her blonde hair and cheerful smile. Her blue eyes were calming to look into. He wanted to get to know her, trying anything he could to block out the past. The further he took the relationship, the harder his past knocked on his internal door. Memories of his old life began flooding in. For a while, Catey helped him ignore them – she became a fun, experimental distraction. But for her, it was more. She slowly became attached to him, convinced she was in love for the first time. Samuel knew he could never love her, not the way he's meant to, not the way she wanted. The break up was messy. Catey refused to accept his lack of emotions. Refused to believe she meant nothing to him.

Ever since the rejection, she's been stalking him, trying to force her way into his life, despite the countless times he's pushed her away. All their relationship was, was a lie. Samuel was never honest about who he is, what he is. She doesn't know the truth. She isn't aware of how impossible it is to convince him to feel something that isn't there, that was never there.

"Catey, you don't even know me. If you did, you wouldn't want this."

"Like the last girl? I know you said she broke your heart, but I won't do that. I promise. I'll be better than her. I'll make you forget about Victoria."

The sound of Catey saying her name makes Samuel shiver. The name triggers his memories. His mind flashes images of Victoria, replaying, repeating. Strawberry-blonde hair swaying over her face in the wind. He remembers meeting her for the first time in 1852. The sound of her voice saying his name, etched firmly in his memory.

"Hello Samuel, I'm Victoria. It's lovely to meet you."

The clothes she wore, the words she spoke, always remembered. Samuel remembers meeting her family for dinner, having Victoria's mother cook for him and her father shake his hand. Everything that happened in their months together circulate his mind, never letting him have peace.

Scenes of midnight strolls echo throughout his head. Walking hand in hand in the green gardens, the smell of flowers lifted in the air, surrounding them. Nights of cooking her meals, making sure he made her favourite, images of their life together, flutter through. Remembering Victoria declaring her feelings for him, "Brought together by God's hand, made to be as one."

And remembering pleading with her to stay with him after she discovered his monstrous truth, "I love you, Victoria. You said we were made for each other."

"You are nothing but a beast. How can I ever love something so devilish? Stay away from me." Their last moments together were full of rage and mayhem. The last thing Samuel remembers is the violent screams, breaking apart the silent night. His own eyes, gazing upon Victoria's parents, bloody, dead at his own hands. His own eyes, staring at Victoria shivering in the corner, begging for mercy.

The memory of the screaming people draws Samuel from his head and brings him back to the present, back to Catey. Only now, he can't seem to see her. Looking in her once distracting eyes, all he can see is Victoria staring back at him, calling him a beast, screaming at him in fear. The rage from all those years ago resurfaces. Without being able to control his own actions, Samuel grabs hold of Catey's arms, surprising her. Through clenched teeth, he growls, "You will never be Victoria."

The lack of control and the fragile nature of the reminder of a lost love, Samuel falls into a blind fit of rage. With no regard to the consequences, Samuel shakes the girl, hard. She tries to scream but can't manage to let anything audible ring through all the movement. Suddenly, Samuel stops, but only for a second. Before she has the chance to run, he throws her against the brick wall of the restaurant. The sound of her head cracking with the jolt is loud. The collision causes Catey to lose consciousness and her motionless body falls to the ground. In a sane state of mind, Samuel would register the girls position and go for help. But Samuel isn't sane. Not in this moment. Rather than try to fix it, his rage takes over and he continues the attack. Repeatedly clawing at her, speaking the same words over and over again, "Nothing like Victoria. Nothing like Victoria."

After a while, the trip begins to digress and Samuel can feel himself calm down. His movements slow and his breathing evens out. Coming down from the anger high, Samuel looks at his hands, drenched in blood. Looking down at the rest of him, he sees the mess of a human Catey is – in pieces on the floor. Snapping his head around, searching for the next thing to do, he panics. The only thing he can think to do, is call Phillip.

"…Phillip! I need you right now…I've done something and you need to fix it…I don't…I don't remember doing it…I'm so sorry…It's…it's happened again."

Phillip and Andy arrive at the alleyway and find an anxious looking Samuel, drenched in blood. When he gets nervous he gets the jitters. His body cannot remain still, his hands and legs begin shaking uncontrollably. Seeing the signs, Phillip looks between the shaking brother and the muddle of human remains on the floor, connecting the dots and assuming the situation, he knows what to do. He's dealt with this before.

Before getting started on the poor girls body, Phillip goes to Samuel and pulls him into a tight embrace, trying to physically hold all of his scattered pieces together while he finds himself once again.

Rubbing his hair, pushing it from his damp face, Phillip quietly speaks into Samuel's ear and asks, "My dear Sam. What happened this time?"

With his head buried in Phillip's chest, Samuel sniffles, "She said she was better than Victoria."

"And?"

"She wasn't Victoria."

Phillip releases his younger brother and wipes his face clean with a cloth from his pocket, "Oh Sam. They never are, are they?"

Sam shakes his head and lets Phillip take care of him and the reoccurring mess they constantly seem to face.

Phillip asks Andy to literally hold Samuel while he cleans up the body. Through all the times Phillip has come to Samuel's rescue, he's found he is calmed easier if he is held tightly, applying pressure to the large mass of body. Without question, Andy wraps his short, muscled arms around the tall, tearful Samuel and holds him until he's ready to be let go. After tonight, Samuel fears he's never going to be ready.

For the second time tonight, Phillip drops to all fours and scrubs the alleyway clean, soaking up all the blood with the quickly diminishing stash of cloths and sponges. His once unblemished clothes now soaked through with human remains. He can feel it reaching through the material, touching and staining his skin.

Now placing all the ruined items in the corner with the mangled body, Phillip prepares everything to watch it burn. As he works, Phillip talks to the voices in his head, Someone has to fix Samuel.

"He doesn't need fixing. I've got it handled."

Phillip, he is murdering girls every month now. Sometimes more frequently.

Feeling protective of his grieving little brother, Phillip snaps, "What do you suggest I do? Abandon him? Look at him, does he seem capable of handling this on his own?"

He is not your responsibility. You don't have to take care of him.

"Yes I do. He needs me, Beatrice."

Andy notices Phillip's solo conversation and wonders again. Between wanting answers and wanting to keep Sam distracted, Andy asks, "Is Phillip talking to himself or…?"

Sam, barely shaking now, looks over at his brother, engaged in a conversation and immediately knows what's happening.

"It's Beatrice. He always talks to her."

Andy's features fold into confusion, "Beatrice…his deceased wife?"

"The one and only."

Baffled and mildly concerned, Andy doesn't say anything else and lets it be. While he wants to push the subject further, Andy has never lost a loved one, and doesn't fully understand the power of grief, so he leaves it alone and silently worries for his friend. Pushing it aside, he gently strokes Sam's hair, doing his best at consoling the poor, defenseless creature barely able to stand.

Everything is ready and in a pile at the back of the alleyway. The mess here is significantly smaller than the one Phillip fixed at the tavern, so the flames will be more discreet. Before lighting the match and tossing it across the air, Phillip checks on Samuel who has stopped shaking completely. He takes hold of his brother’s hand and looks at him, "Now Sam, you've got to stop doing this. Stop letting these girls get inside your head. Who are you?"

Sam uses his free hand, wipes at his nose and looks back at Phillip, "I'm a strong nightwalker."

"And what are you?"

"Capable of moving on."

"Incredibly capable. Alright?" Sam nods and squeezes Phillip’s hand.

Standing together, Phillip throws a fresh flame onto the pile and they watch it grow and burn through the remains, turning all the evidence into ash. Soon, everything is picked up and removed by the wind. For the second time tonight, Phillip watches the fire fight itself, swaying against the wind. If it wasn't to cover up a murder, he thinks he may even find the movement beautiful, peaceful. But it was to cover up a murder. Now all he sees when he looks into the flame, is blood. Blood and decay.

The alleyway is clear, no sign of a dead body. No more blood for Samuel to stare at. No more physical reminders of what took place.

Once everything is gone, Andy puts the flame out with a bucket of water and returns to the driver's seat. Wrapping an arm around Samuel, Phillip walks him to the car, right behind Andy, "Come on, Andy will take us home."