A TALE OF BERDEL

CHAPTER 5: Everything is Just Starting

My life was hanging by a thread. The man in front of me was dead serious. If I ended up with someone else, if I married someone else, he would set Mardin ablaze with everyone in it.

Yusuf knocked on the door once more. "Berfin, are you there?"

I found my voice that had been hiding inside me. "I'm here. Um, you go down, I'll be right there."

"Alright then, I'll wait for you downstairs."

As the footsteps faded away, I grabbed Boran's arm and shoved him out the door. He looked at me mockingly, laughing out of anger. Without lingering, I brushed past him and headed downstairs. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me against his chest, starting to say, "If that wedding happens..."

I interrupted him angrily, "That wedding is happening, and there's nothing you can do about it, got it?" I wriggled in his grip.

He exhaled onto my face. "Just watch... just watch," he said, releasing my body, and I freed myself from his captivity.

Yusuf was waiting for me when I got downstairs. He looked up at me and said, "If you're ready, let's go," gesturing to the door. I nodded in agreement. We got into his car parked out front and drove to the jeweler.

Yusuf's mother, Mrs. Dicle, and his sisters, Rojin and Rozerin, were waiting for us at the jeweler. They greeted us with smiles, as we had met before. While Yusuf watched us from a distance, Rojin leaned in closer to me.

"You know, I never wanted my brother to marry Berivan," she said. The young girl never believed her brother would be happy with Berivan. No one in the family wanted Berivan, except for Rojda. But when her brother threatened to leave the leadership, everyone was forced to remain silent. Since Berivan studied in Istanbul, she wasn't someone who cared about or knew much about Mardin's culture.

I smiled at my sister-in-law. "So, do you not want me either, Rojin?"

The young girl immediately shook her head in protest. "No, on the contrary, I thought you and my brother were a great match. I even heard my mother say once that she thought you were a good match for my brother."

Hearing this, I turned to my mother-in-law and whispered with a smile, "Maybe she saw what her son couldn't understand or see."

I was right. Mrs. Dicle saw in my eyes what her foolish son couldn't. Although she wanted me as her daughter-in-law, having realized I was in love with Yusuf, her son had brought home a girl who didn't know the customs and traditions.

While we were choosing rings, Mrs. Dicle called out to her son, "Come on, what are you looking at from there? Come and choose a ring for your wife."

Yusuf frowned when he heard the word "wife." His mother noticed but continued to insist, "Come on, don't act coy like the bride's side," causing us three girls to giggle quietly.

Yusuf reluctantly came over to me. We were all looking at the rings laid out before us. The two sisters-in-law kept showing me different rings, saying this one is nice, that one is nice. But not liking any of them, I only responded with a smile. My eyes caught sight of a gold lotus flower ring with an emerald in the center, and I reached for it. As my hand touched another hand, I looked at the man beside me.

We both liked the same ring at the same time. Dicle Hanım and her daughters noticed this and watched us intently. Yusuf was the first to pull his hand back and clear his throat.

"Let's choose that one; the emerald matches the color of your eyes. Of course, only if you like it."

I nodded with a smile. "Yes, I like it very much."

Yusuf nodded to the jeweler to indicate we would take the ring. Dicle Hanım approached us and handed the ring to her son.

Yusuf looked at his mother. "Mom, you do know I'm not the bride, right?"

His mother replied, "Oh dear, I thought you were the bride," giving him a light slap on the arm. "You're teasing your mother now. I gave you the ring to put on your wife, not on yourself."

His sisters joined in. "But if you like it too, we can get you one just like it, brother," at which he gave them a mock angry look.

At that moment, he thought of Rojda. She had been there when they were looking at rings for Berivan. She was the only one who wanted Berivan at home. That's why she had come to help them. Even though Yusuf didn't want to admit it, he missed Rojda.

I tried to steady my trembling hands from excitement but couldn't. Yusuf closed his eyes. The face of the girl he loved came to mind.

He couldn't do it. It wasn't happening. He couldn't even put a ring on someone else while he loved another, while she was in his heart. But he was going to be a married man in a week.

His mother's words snapped him back. "Come on, son, it's not like I'm asking for much, put the ring on the girl."

He opened his eyes and looked at me, the girl he saw as a sister. He clenched the ring in his fist and reached for my hand. Noticing something, his gaze returned once more to my emerald eyes. My hands were trembling. To calm me, who was trembling like a leaf, and to reassure me that I was scared, he held my hand tighter.

This gesture changed my heart rhythm, making me even more anxious.

As he slipped the ring onto my finger, my hands trembling even more, he let go and stepped back a few steps.

Although I was upset, I tried to hide it. After taking the rings, we got into the car to head to the Xozan mansion. I was just about to get out of the car parked in front of the house when I saw the name on Yusuf's ringing phone, and my hand froze on the door. Berivan was calling. The woman who would become my co-wife after we got married.

Yusuf stood there, looking at me. I knew it was hard for him too, but we were paying for the mistake my brother made. There was nothing we could do about it. I was already behaving well enough, simply because I once saw him as a brother and spent time with him. It couldn't have been better than this anyway. I composed myself and got out of the car with a smile.

I hid my pain behind my smile. And once again, the man I loved didn't see the pain in my eyes.

When I entered the mansion, I was met with a crowd. Upon seeing my grandfather, I understood why. He had come back from Urfa after six months away. Although I didn't know why my grandfather had left, I could guess why he returned—to organize a wedding for my brother. Knowing that my father wouldn't oppose his decision, my brother must have been the one to call him.

After kissing my grandfather's hand, I went to my room. As I sat on the bed, I let go of the tears I had been holding back all morning. The trembling of my lips was nothing compared to the way my heart was trembling.

Do they ever think about me? What if I didn't love Yusuf? Would it still be like this? They don't even know that I love him. My brother... he didn't even come to see me. Maybe he was ashamed, maybe he was afraid I'd be angry with him. But whatever the reason, he didn't come.

I don't know when I fell asleep, but when I woke up, it was nine in the evening. I sat up in bed and leaned my back against the headboard. As I stretched my arms up, I noticed the light on my phone blinking. When I picked it up, I saw Yusuf's name on the screen. While I was still in shock, the call ended. As I continued to stare at the screen, he called again. This time, I stopped staring blankly and answered.

In an angry voice, he said, "Come to the back of the mansion."

Just as I was about to object, he shouted, "NOW!"

Fear gripped my heart as I agreed and hung up the phone. Experiencing excitement and fear at the same time, I put on my brown cardigan and slowly walked out of the room. As I walked towards the back of the mansion, my heart fluttered like a bird in a cage.

His eyes narrowed with anger as he saw me approach. I became even more frightened. Standing right in front of me, he looked into my eyes.

"I'm going to ask you one question, and you will answer yes or no." His voice, full of anger, made me nervous, but his face so close to mine was also exciting me. I didn't know why this man, who made me feel all emotions at once, was so angry.

As he bit his lower lip, he asked, "Did you know that Rojda and your brother were going to elope?"

I was shocked. What was this man saying? I didn't even know my brother loved Rojda. Where did this come from?

I immediately replied with confidence, "No, I didn't know."

As soon as I said it, he turned around quickly and ran his hands through his hair. With an angry laugh, he said, "So you didn't know... Didn't know, huh?"

His eyes, as he turned back to me, were filled with hatred and anger. "Who are you fooling, huh? Who?" he roared, and I started to tremble.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket. When he turned the screen towards me, I saw a message sent to me and realized the phone wasn't his, but Rojda's. The message had been sent the night before the wedding:

"My dear friend, my sister, by the time you read this, I will have eloped with your brother. I love him deeply... I can't live without him. He's been my secret lover all along. I know you'll understand because you love my brother too. Just as I love Berdan... So, as I reunite with my love, I'm bringing you together with yours. Please forgive me, sister. I hope my brother accepts the bride price. I'll make sure the news reaches him before he gets married. Of course, Berdan knows nothing about this. Forgive me, sister, and after reading this, don't let on that you know... I love you dearly..."

The impact of what I read made my head spin, and I couldn't bear to look at the man trembling with anger in front of me. Putting everything else aside... He had found out I loved him, and in this way.

I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head, hoping this was a nightmare. He angrily grabbed my arm and yanked me towards him.

"From now on, be afraid of me, Berfin! Be afraid of what I'll do! I'll make your life a living hell!" he shouted, and in response, I just trembled like a leaf caught in a storm.

He let go of my arm abruptly and turned away. He didn't even give me a chance to respond or defend myself. He didn't care if I loved him; he just assumed I'd betrayed him like my brother and Rojda.

I collapsed to my knees, sobbing until I couldn't breathe, until someone heard my cries.

That night, even the devil covered his ears against the girl's screams, while Mardin stayed silent, unheard. That night, unaware of the man watching her in the darkness, she cried out, "God, I can't bear this... Please, take this pain away or take my life."

She ignited a burning ember in that man's heart... His heart burned that night... It was the beginning of everything.