Mysyery

Chapter 4: Devotion of Oneself (Part 2)

Occasionally, when Bo Yuan came to the dormitory to visit Yan Nannan, Xuan Xiao would join as well. The four of them would watch movies and enjoy street food together.

In the first year, the coursework was still heavy, and combined with her father's situation, Chi Xiaoying's smile always carried a hint of sadness. Xuan Xiao spoke very little, but with Bo Yuan and Yan Nannan livening up the atmosphere, there was never an awkward silence.

The second trial concluded with the original verdict upheld. With the help of Dean Xuan, her father was placed under house arrest. Everything seemed to have calmed down, but no one could have predicted that her proud and noble father couldn't reconcile with this reality. On a winter night, he told her mother that he was going for a walk. Mother asked him to wait until she finished washing the dishes so she could accompany him downstairs. He replied, "I'll wait for you downstairs."

In just the time it took to wash the dishes, her father resolutely embarked on the road to the afterlife, ending everything and leaving all troubles behind. Those were dark days, with the weather cold and hearts even colder. Her mother cried herself nearly insane, blaming herself. She believed that if she hadn't insisted her father visit her younger brother that day, he would still be alive, respected, and they would be happily together, instead of lying there cold and motionless.

Her mother cried so much that she became disoriented and couldn't take care of herself, relying entirely on a few aunts to look after her. It was as if Chi Xiaoying grew up overnight; she handled all of her father's funeral arrangements, from the preparations to the cremation and burial, all by herself.

Bo Yuan, Yan Nannan, and Xuan Xiao all came.

At night, during the vigil, Xuan Xiao stayed with her. The two of them shared a cotton coat, and he held her hand, rubbing it continuously. Her hand was as cold as ice.

The Chi family reported that her father had died of a sudden heart attack rather than suicide. Despite this, Dean Xuan was still implicated to some extent. Although it didn't affect his position, he did receive some kind of warning or reprimand.

After hearing this, Chi Xiaoying felt deeply indebted to Xuan Xiao's family, a debt too great to be repaid with money or expressed in words. When she saw Xuan Xiao again, she felt so ashamed that she couldn't even look up in his presence.

Xuan Xiao said that this matter hadn't really helped much and that she didn't need to feel this way. She shook her head vigorously, insisting that it had helped, that it had helped a lot. At least her father had left home with dignity.

Xuan Xiao gave her a deep look but said nothing more.

Not long after, Xuan Xiao and Bo Yuan both graduated. Bo Yuan passed the civil service exam and became a junior clerk at the Urban Construction Bureau. Xuan Xiao, on the other hand, volunteered to work at a construction company. Over the next three years, he worked while earning all the necessary certifications in the field. Eventually, he and a friend started what is now Xuan Xiao Studio, but that's a story for later.

The Urban Construction Bureau wasn't far from the Engineering College. Every weekend, Bo Yuan would come over. When Yan Nannan saw him, they acted like newlyweds reunited after a long separation, so affectionate that it made others blush. Chi Xiaoying and her other roommates would leave the dorm, their faces flushed with embarrassment.

Bo Yuan was incredibly gentle and considerate, a rare example of a man with such delicate emotions. He even remembered Yan Nannan's menstrual cycle clearly and would thoughtfully bring her blood-nourishing foods during those days.

The construction company's projects were usually out of town, so Xuan Xiao rarely came back. Whenever he did, he would visit Chi Xiaoying. His face was tanned, and he seemed to be more robust than before.

The two of them would just go out to eat, stroll around the campus, and if there was a good movie playing, they would watch it together. Each time, Chi Xiaoying would insist on paying. She felt that doing so made her feel a bit better.

She didn't dare to owe Xuan Xiao anything more. Seeing her like this, Xuan Xiao didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

On Sunday night, Yan Nannan returned to the dormitory past midnight. She sat on her bed, smiling foolishly. Chi Xiaoying felt a chill down her spine and asked her what was going on.

She squeezed onto Chi Xiaoying's bed, leaned close to her ear, and whispered, "Xiaoying, have you and Xuan Xiao done it?"

Xiaoying was confused.

Yan Nannan giggled and said, "You know, doing AI."

Chi Xiaoying blushed deeply and pushed her away. "What are you talking about? Xuan Xiao and I aren't even a couple. You and Bo Yuan... did you?" she asked, her heart trembling.

Yan Nannan nodded, her eyes sparkling. "Yes, it hurt at first, but then it was wonderful."

"Heavens, aren't you afraid of getting pregnant?" Chi Xiaoying trembled as she spoke.

"We took precautions. Bo Yuan... he really cares about me," Yan Nannan said, closing her eyes, her voice lazy and content.

In the darkness, Chi Xiaoying was completely silent. She turned over and reached out, feeling tears streaming down Chi Xiaoying's face.

"I...?" Chi Xiaoying stammered, not knowing what to say.

"I know you miss Xuan Xiao," Yan Nannan said understandingly as she hugged her. "You silly girl, Bo Yuan once said that you were the first girl Xuan Xiao ever dated. If you're not a couple, do you think you're siblings?"

"How could she possibly be worthy of Xuan Xiao?" Chi Xiaoying thought to herself. "Xuan Xiao was just showing her pity and sympathy; he was her benefactor."

At the beginning of the second semester of their junior year, Bo Yuan started asking around for help, trying hard to keep Yan Nannan in Binjiang City.

Chi Xiaoying and a group of classmates hadn't thought that far ahead yet. Every day, they were just buried in their books, muddling through their studies.

During the National Day holiday, Yan Nannan went to Bo Yuan's apartment to enjoy their time together, and the other classmates went home. Chi Xiaoying's mother was taken to the countryside by an aunt to relax, so Chi Xiaoying stayed at school.

Xuan Xiao came and found her in the library. They had lunch together in the college cafeteria. After lunch, the weather suddenly changed, and it began to pour rain heavily. With nowhere else to go, Xuan Xiao and Chi Xiaoying returned to the dormitory, where they listened to music and chatted.

Neither of them was particularly good with words. After exchanging a few sentences, they ran out of things to say and just stared at each other. Xuan Xiao's

In the cramped space, they were so close that a slight lean forward would allow them to catch each other's scent.

Outside, lightning flashed and thunder roared as rain poured down in torrents, casting a dark pall over the world. In the neighboring dorm room, girls and boys were playing cards, their laughter loud and clear.

"Which one is your bed? I sat on the bus for a few hours and I'm a bit tired," Xuan Xiao suddenly said.

Chi Xiaoying hastily tidied up the books and clothes on her bed. In the process, a few of her bras fell to the floor, making her so embarrassed that she could hardly breathe.

Xuan Xiao smiled and picked them up for her. He then took off his shoes and lay down on her bed.

"Come here, talk with me," Xuan Xiao said with a smile, looking at her nervous and uneasy expression.

She hesitated for a moment. She understood that if she walked over, something might happen. She wasn't an inflexible traditionalist clinging to outdated principles. However, some things that Yan Nannan and Bo Yuan could do, she and Xuan Xiao could not. They were not lovers and had neither the reason nor the right to do such things.

However, she didn't dare to refuse out loud. Doing so felt like it would be a great disservice to Xuan Xiao. Her deep gratitude towards him was like an invisible rope, tightly binding her, leaving her unable to move.

She timidly sat down on the edge of the bed. Xuan Xiao embraced her, pulling her into his arms. She saw his handsome face contort with emotion, his breathing becoming heavier. His hot lips moved from hers downward, while he guided her hand towards his thigh.

She felt his strength, his intensity, and his restraint. For the first time, she realized how vast the difference between a man and a woman could be. She wanted to escape, to struggle, to push him away.

No, you can't. You must repay this man; you owe him too much. Only when you've repaid him enough and no longer owe him anything will you have the right to live for yourself, a voice inside her sighed.

Xuan Xiao's deep eyes darkened, and his slender fingers removed her clothes. She trembled beneath him like a naked infant.

He swiftly removed his own clothes as well. As their bare skin touched, both of them shuddered intensely.

As he struggled to break through her resolute barrier, she cried. He thought it was because of the pain and gently kissed and soothed her. However, he didn't know that at that moment, someone had already taken residence in her heart.