MY REASONS MY MISTAKE

MY MISTAKE

Well, ....... I ........ I...........em Isabella's mom tried speaking but not having courage to proceed, then she took a deep breath.

Are you going to talk or what? Isabella said out of anger to her mom.

Yes dear, I'm saying it, she said, crying, then took a deep breath again.

Back then, when I was in college, I made many mistakes out of ignorance of what the future holds.

At that time, I was in a cult group. I joined to gain power and control in college, to have confidence and feel, you know, big. So, I was given my first task, which was to get rid of our most common enemy and that enemy happened to be Johnson's sister friend, but at that time, I never knew. I did the task and, yes, I killed her, but on that day that we were carrying out the task, Johnson's sister saw us, so, I was asked to do the needful. I was about to, but she ran. We never took it seriously or have a reason to be bothered or worried. So we were not bothered to inquire about her. After some time, we found out that her name was Amie and she was in a cult group that was rival to ours. From then on, me and Amie became enemies. Huge time enemies. She hated me cause I killed her friend which she herself was planning to kill because her friend caused us so much as she was trying to turn Amie's group and mine against each other.

Some years passed and I met Johnson. That was my third year in college and Johnson was in his fourth year. At that time, me amd Jonhson were just friends, but he had feelings for me, but the feelings weren't mutual as I was a runs girl (p********e, after one man to another) at that time. Things then became awkward when my group asked me to accept Johnson's proposal because Amie was his sister. This was another way to get to Amie. And yes Amie killed my sister in the process of the fight between us. So, the group saw this as an opportunity and asked me to get closer to Johnson as he was rich. I could get everything I wanted from him, like the information of where his sister was. Then take his money, and leave him empty. They saw this has the perfect revenge plan and, yes, I wanted revenge indeed and was not a good friend either, so, bringing him down was not going to be hard for me.

But things started to become different as being close to Johnson made me start having feelings for Johnson and this was a great set back as I couldn't complete my mission. I then told the group that I wouldn't be able to finish up the mission. And some how they were ok with it. Just later to find out they were not, they did everything to bring Johnson down when i noticed this, I decided to try and explain everything to Johnson, but then I was scared, like how do i start? Where do I start from? All these were puzzles to me. So, I kept on trying to protect Johnson and after he graduated it was the perfect time to tell him that we should leave the environment cuz I was not sure if would be able to keep on protecting him. What if something happens when am not there? He agreed with me and we left. Finally, I was ready to start afresh. He even decided to introduce me to his parent. On the day of our introduction, he introduced me to his mom and dad telling me his sister has traveled out of the country so, I won't be able to see her yet. I finally knew his sisters were about but I wasn't bothered like I was then because I wanted to start afresh. When his mom and dad saw me, I felt something was up based on her reaction. when she told Johnson that she wouldn't allow, me to marry him, that was when i was sure something was up so, I decided to do some findings in the process, I found out that his mom knew I was a p********e. After, knowing this I felt insecure thinking my past was coming to hunt me and by then I was already pregnant with Tyler and was not willing to be a single mother. It happened that she found me in a club a long time ago, this brought back so many memories that hurt me so much and input many fears in me too. How sweet that even when Johnson knew i was a p********e he fought with his parents for my sake, and happiness and still got married to me even with out their approval.

But two years later, things became ugly as I was being threatened by someone whom I didn't know his/her identity and this person kept on asking for money. The more I gave, the more he asked. When I got tired of giving, he threatened to reveal my past to Johnson. Now this started to drive me crazy and then, I thought of telling Johnson everything, but I freaked. I was scared my perfect life would come crumbling. But the fact didn't change, that I was still a p********e even as I was married because I could control myself. I kept on feeling these things. I was never contempted that I even had s*x with his friends and even his cousin, but at the same time, I was in love with Johnson.

To add to my worries, my group found out where I was and started troubling me. Then I agreed to be going on errands for them, by scamming men and getting money from them, Then give it to the group. I felt that was better than Johnson getting into their hands.

Amie returns from Canada. On seeing me as Johnson's wife got her really upset. The same was the feeling for me as I knew she was Johnson's sister and she is back. I felt like I had the opportunity to kill her as revenge, but then I remembered Johnson telling me that his best friend was his sister so much love for each other. I remembered my own sister and if she had been with me things would have been different. So, I decided to let Amie go and we even became friends as both of us were working for the benefit of Johnson. Johnson was really happy seeing both of us bonding. Everything came crumbling when my group found out that Amie was back and she was alive. Then they set out to get rid of her. When Amie found out they knew then, we started fighting cuz she thought I told on her.

One day in the process of our argument, I pushed her off the stairs but it was an accident. I got scared and rushed her to the hospital. All prayers were, she should be ok. Then the doctor told us that she had a heart attack due to shock which paralyzed her body, so no one knew I was behind it. Then I kept mute and didn't say a thing. Although Johnsons parents suspected it was me.

Some weeks later, Johnson found out everything. He became very furious. Well, who wouldn't be? I could understand and feel his pain, cuz the pain I had caused him was all written all over him. I tried to explain and plead with him but that was of no use and that was the day I was coming home to tell him the good news that I was pregnant with Bella. But what was I to say when he already found out everything, he wouldn't even believe that Bella was his child and he was furious. I didn't know how he knew. But that wasn't the case because I lost the battle and everything, my perfect life, family, everything.

So, does it mean that Tyler is not my...... brother? Isabella inquired.

Darling, after I found out the truth that day, before reaching home, I went to our family doctor to do some test to find out if Tyler was my son or one of those whom she usually meets up with. The doctor confirmed that Tyler was my son.

Put yourself in my shoes and you will understand my pain at that time and now. My mom and dad warned me about getting married to this woman right here but I was adamant about it. As she was my college love. I had always loved her and did everything she wanted. I even stayed away from my family for her sake because my family did not accept our marriage just later on to find out that she never changed her being. Worst of all, she never loved me. That was why she still went on to cheat on me even after marriage and now giving silly reasons why she did. That wasn't even all after I sent her out. That was when I found out that she was the reason behind my sister Amie's death . All this got me furious and made me hate everything that initiated with her. She hurt me so badly that words could not express it. Even the love I had for her vanished. All was lost. My sister, my mom and dad weren't with me. It took me a long, a very, very long time to get my parents back. My mom had told me then that this woman was the reason behind my Amie's condition. I choose not to believe because they never approved the woman I was in love with. So, it felt like whatever they were saying or doing was to get me to stay away from my son's mother. Not knowing I was the fool in all this.

My sister died in my hands after she told me everything, at first I found out the truth from a letter with no name then I went to talk to my sister about it that was she told me everything. Mr Johnson said, crying as tears of regret and pain ran down his cheek as if he was still living in those particular moments.

Johnson, I am sorry, am so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. I was scared and I made wrong choices and decisions. I had no idea the pain I caused you. Words can't express how sorry I feel but I am... am really sorry. I'm sorry! she lamented, crying.

Can sorry bring back the dead? No right, fine. Can it heal the wounds? No, right. So, tell me, what am I to do with how sorry you feel? Mr. Johnson asked, still hurt by the past.

You know, my mistake was loving you and then letting you into my life, because you ruined everything.

No, don't say that please. Johnson, I did everything for you, so you could be happy.

I guess my mistake was being silent and not saying anything, and not accepting my past and facing reality.

And I guess my mistake was been your daughter," Isabella said harshly but gently.

I know I have done a lot of bad deeds, but I am not a bad person. I just wanted everyone to be happy. I was trying to do the right thing, I was trying to prevent the past from affecting the future and..... she stated and teared up.

Yeah! No one called you a bad person. We all have our past, so do you. The only wrong you did was you were trying to do the right. Isabella said sarcastically.

You see, all my life of being your daughter I have always hated it, have always asked myself why you are my mother? But no answers. But today I found the answer. It is the fact that some have a good fate while others the bad one. Having you was my own bad fate.

Bella, please I am sorry. I am really sorry. Her mom said, crying.

Just like he asked, can sorry heal wounds? No right, exactly. Because right now your apology is point less. Forget pointless, it is a waste and I am not sorry to say. Isabella stated angrily.

Just look at it, you did so much and yet you didn't deem it fit to tell of it. Do you even realize what your silence alone has caused me? No, you don't. How would you? When all you know how to do is snatch others' happiness for your joy and comfortability. Nice, nice one, Isabella said angrily as tears of sadness and disappointment dropped down her eyes.