FIERCE, NOT FAITHFUL

CHAPTER 4-New Dawn

Chapter 4

Since she had crept off with Caius, her secret lover, something in her had blossomed--a longing to live her own life, to search out the depths of herself which she had smothered under his golden demands. Now she had just known where to start. She took a flyer out of her clutch: “Open Art Classes - City Gallery Collective.” The silence rang of her pulse. Art had been her secret passion, all those marginal doodles, the painting of sunsets that no one would ever see, and Julian had disapproved of such frivolous activities, her elevating her above such predictable mannerisms to be polished, prim, predictable.

She placed it upon the console table and turned. Opposite her Julian was sitting, pretending to be absorbed by his phone, but every time she shifted position, his eyes would flit to her. His jaw set in a concentration she was very familiar with the mark of a man who would not be forced to give up an control. In an hour, he said, not asked, "dinner!"

Amara inhaled. she started gently.

"I would like to go to such an art class." She pointed at the flyer.

Julian tensed, and with a single movement was off the couch. "At nine at night? You are dead after the gala and…"

"I am not seeking authorization." There was a shaking power in her voice that she hardly knew was there. "I will go, I am telling you. And I will go before it be late.”

His countenance made sour. “Don't test me, not tonight.” He gapeld and looked meanly. She saw his lips quail--anger unuttered. “Fine. Just… don't embarrass us." And with that he turned on his heel and left her to her thumping chest.

The art studio was a converted loft hoisted over coffee-shop filled streets, the warm light seeping through arching windows. Amara kicked off her heels inside and Amara straightened the hem of a paint-stained smock belonging to one of the older students. The smell of oils and turpentine brought her down to earth. Masks and expectations are gone, here, only the possibilities of white canvases.

Amara deposited her bags by the side and was greeted by a familiar hug by the instructor- Nyanza. Nyanza laughed and laughed, her eyes flashing. "I hardly knew you" she said. In college they had been roommates and painted wild abstracts on weekends. Amara had been then fearless and young; now the same wild beat answered in her brush. Nyanza examined her. "What, Is this your comeback?"

Amara exhaled. "I am not sure. Seems like that is the only way I got.”

Nyanza nodded, she understood. Amara’s nerves started to unravel as they started to sketch. Colors were bleeding on the canvas; with each stroke, more of her hidden self was being uncovered.

she traced a figure strolling through a gate pretty, wicked-the image of her own escapade.

Halfway through the lesson, her phone vibrated: it was a message from Julian-“Where are you?" She paid no attention to it. And another of Caius:“Meeting to-night. 11 PM. Dock alley. Be ready.” Her heart paused at the old familiar thrill, then she stretched her feelings on the canvas, and changed chaos to beauty.

After that night, when Amara came back to her class, she was changed, she was vibrant. Julian was standing at the door with his arms crossed. His eyes were deep coals.

“Where have you been?" She passed him and went into the foyer quietly.

Coolly she answered, Art class. “Nyanza called. I joined.”She added

“And you couldn't speak all night." His voice was deep, dangerous.

Amara fingered her hair behind her ear, and looked full at him. “I did. And in four words precisely: I love to paint." She said sternely

He sighed, and shut his eyes. “You are trying to make me look like a fool."he retorted following a smack on his teeth and tongue.

Amara spoke more loudly. “Don't start making it about you as always. ”

He touched her, and she started back as though scalded. “You are throwing away everything we created, our life, friends and reputation on some childhood fantasy.”

“That illusion made me live,” she rejoined. I suppose you had better consider that.

He gazed at her, his injuryed pride welded with anger. After this he retired And now you are on your own. He turned and went out into their bedroom, leaving the door open, and a dangerous silence following him.

Then, when the moon came up, Amara crept out again this time to meet Caius. The piers were veiled in mist and far-off reverberations of factory murmur. She saw the shape of his streamlined car. He had come out of the mist, black as ever he was, though his smile faded when he looked at her.

" You came my lady." he said affectionately. You brought it about.

She smiled wearily. “I needed to cease choking.”

He took her palm in his hand. "Did you draw something to-night?"

She nodded, and drew out of her pocket a little picture her drawn figure walking through a gate. “It’s me.”

He analysed it. “Powerful.” A proud flicker illured in his eyes. His phone rang and he rushed into his pockets to pick. Then tension came back.

“A minute my queen. "

Amara could hear clearly what the phone convo was about

We have got shipments. I am working product on 14 th in the warehouse. Don't mess with me.

He turned to face Amara and held her hands

" I want you to feel, you are safe and protected."He said softly

Amara was trembling in the night breeze. The excitement of the Parisian roofs and art-studios were exchanged into something fatal. The world Caius lived in was perilous it was criminal but he gave her shelter under that danger. She sensed her centre of gravity shifting.

“Caught—” said she.

“I shall not" He said firmly. "You belong to me." He added

When she was by his side she discovered that danger was now attracted her with as great a tug as beauty. Maybe love and crime, she thought, are only the same thing, a need to live.

After along thirty minutes talk, he kissed her by the cheek and watched as she crept back to her villa.

Amara's morning was grimy, raving and immeasurably more herself than she had ever been in silk and diamonds. She was humming while preparing breakfast in the kitchen when Julian came along and stood in the lamplight of the foyer, his arms folded, his pose light but steady.

"Caius?" he mumbled , and flared his eyes.

She turned to look at him, with steel and grief in her eyes yet bold.

“Come again?” She asked

He moved to her. “You tell me” He said his hands on her waist.

She freed herself from him, shook her head and went past him. “Not good morning atleast”

His voice fell. “Enjoy your day wife" He remarked and led his way out of the kitchen with a toast in his hand.

"I am not in your shadow." She shouted her voice placid.

Julian went ahead and left home for a business meeting at Blueway Center where he hold his Gold businesses. He loved to keep his business in line and intact at all times, after all he was his father's son and lived to make him proud. Albert was a renowned and stout business man who was brutal with his words who was avoided in every occasion.