The Swiss Escape

Amends

Alex

These past three months of living with Kamryn have been the best in my life. Things feel perfect. We share the chores, and life feels right.

Kamryn told me about how she wanted a dog, so today, I will surprise her with one. For the last month, I have tried to find one that will make the perfect addition to our family. Finally, I found one last week. Someone posted an add giving away Berner Sennenhund puppies. Last week I went over to pick one out; I lied to Kamryn and told her I was going to the gym so she wouldn’t be suspicious. The woman giving away the puppies had a small child a little older than Kayla. All the puppies seemed to love playing with the child. One little puppy came up to me and pawed at my foot. That is why I picked her. She had all the traditional markings: Black fur on the back, white on the chest, and brown spots. The puppy’s mother didn’t make it, and the woman is bottle feeding them. They are finally able to eat solid food and are ready for their new homes.

Before picking up the puppy, I stop by a pet supply shop and get a couple of toys and food. Then I head to the woman’s apartment. When I knock on the door of the apartment, she answers and looks happy to see me. “Great, you’re here. I needed to head out soon. Here is the puppy you picked.” I take the dog from her, and she immediately licks me. The lick soon turns into her chewing on my hand. I thank her and take the dog home.

I hope Kamryn and Kayla like the puppy. When I pull up to the house, I start to question how I should show them the dog. Maybe ask for help unloading the car? No, that won't work. I guess I could walk in hiding the dog behind my back then showing them. Letting out a sigh, I decide to call Kamryn. When she answers, I ask her, “Will you come out to the garage? I need help with something.”

“Yeah, I will be right there.” She hangs up, and I hear her approaching.

As she comes into the garage, I hand her the dog toys. She looks at me curiously. I pull the puppy out of the car, and her face lights up with excitement. “You got a puppy?” I can hear her enthusiasm in her voice.

“I was looking for awhile. Last week I went to see someone giving puppies away. She was still bottle feed until this week.”

The puppy goes to Kamryn, and it looks just excited to see her as she is. Kamryn picks up the puppy and holds it close. “What should we name her?” Kamryn’s blue eyes show her excitement.

“I thought maybe we would let Kayla name her.”

The idea makes Kamryn’s smile even brighter. “You know how my parents ended up with a cat called pickles.”

I let out a laugh, “I have more faith in Kayla than I do you.” She looks at me like she is offended, but her smile betrays her, and I know she’s teasing.

“Let’s go show her the puppy. You take the dog to the backyard, and I will bring Kayla out there. She will be so excited.”

I take the puppy from Kamryn, and she runs inside. I hear her calling Kayla’s name. Going through the other door in the garage, I walk into the backyard. It’s not a huge amount of space, but it’s enough. Kamryn quickly brings out Kayla. I don’t know which is more excited. They both seem ecstatic. “Look Kaykay, what’s that?”

“A puppy.” Kayla runs towards me. “May I pet it?” I kneel and bring the puppy to her level. It must be able to sense her excitement because the puppy is trying to get to Kayla.

I look at Kayla. “Kayla, I need your help with something very important.” She looks at me with a serious face and nods. She loves being helpful. “I don’t know what to name the puppy. Can you name her?”

Kayla gives the dog a stern look. I can tell she is concentrating. “Mittens.”

“Why, Mittens?” I ask curiously.

“She has mittens. See?” Kayla points to the puppy’s feet. Most of the dog is black, but the feet are brown.

“I do, I think Mittens is a great name.” Kayla looks at Kamryn with a huge smile. I look up at her too. “What do you think?”

Kamryn kneels as well, “I couldn’t think of a better name.” Kayla leans against her mother and pets the dog. Mittens is starting to play rough and is beginning to chew on my finger. I put her down on the grass, and she runs to Kayla. Squealing with joy, Kayla runs. She and the puppy begin chasing each other.

I stand when Kamryn does. Putting my arms around her waist from behind her, I kiss the side of her head. Kamryn leans back into, and it makes me smile. “So, how did I do?”

Kamryn turns around and looks up at me. “I think you did well. Maybe I should do something special for you.”

I look at Kamryn; my breathing has already become shallow. “It took a lot of effort. I worked on this for a month.”

Kamryn looks at me with a smile, “I can make your favorite meal, then after Kayla goes to bed, we could have some wine.” I nod. Her words make me smile even more. She puts her hand on my cheek and gives me a quick kiss. “Thank you. I have always wanted a dog.”

“I’m glad that I could make you happy, Schatzi. You mean everything to me.”

We watched Kayla and the puppy play. To my surprise, Kayla never loses interest. She uses some of the dog toys and the two play for another hour. Kamryn tells Kayla it’s time to go inside for lunch. Kayla protests a little but ultimately does what her mother said.

We bring the puppy inside, and she starts sniffing around the house. After Kamryn fixes lunch for Kayla, she makes a place for the puppy’s food and water. “Maybe we should get a storage ottoman or something.” I look at her, confused. “It’s an ottoman that opens, and you can put things inside of it. I’m trying to think of a place to put the dog toys.”

“Oh, I understand. We can do that or get whatever you think is best.” I smile at her. Every hour I take the dog outside to house train her.

Later that night, after putting Kayla to bed, Kamryn and I decide to watch a movie. I sit on the couch, and Kamryn leans against me, resting her head on my shoulder. My arm is around her, holding her close. The puppy, who barely leaves Kamryn’s side, is lying in her lap, chewing on a toy.

“I think Mittens likes you,” I tell her as she pets the puppy in her lap.

“She knows I am the pushover of the house. Did you notice when we were eating, she stayed close to Kayla? Mittens has us figured out and knows how to get her way.”

“Well, she is smart like the other two-“A knock at the door interrupts my thoughts. The puppy tries to bark, but it sounds high pitched and not at all intimidating. I get up and look at Kamryn. The look on her face tells me she’s afraid. I know she is worried that her ex has found her. Cautiously I opened the door.

It’s my parents. “Why are you here? I think in our last conversation, I made my views clear. Please leave us alone.”

“Alex, please. Fritz, Lana, and Dennis have gone missing. We found this note.” My mother’s voice conveys her panic. Taking the note, I read:

‘Sorry, you got involved in this. You know how powerful a parent’s love is for their child. Since one of your sons took my child from me, I have taken yours. I am willing to give them back and forget about your entire family for 1,500,000 SEK. Put the money in an envelope and send to this address,

Becksjudarvägen

42A

660 64

Molkom

Sweden’

I stare at the note, shocked. Kamryn walks towards me and takes it. She gets a puzzled look on her face. Kamryn says in English, “This isn’t John’s handwriting. Plus, he wouldn’t ask for krono. That Swedish currency. His company has no ties there.”

“Plus, it’s in German. Does he know German?” I look at Kamryn with concern.

She shrugs, “he didn’t know German when we were married.”

I look at my parents. “This letter isn’t from Kamryn’s ex-husband. I think Lana and Fritz are trying to make you believe someone took them.” Taking out my phone, I look up the address. It’s a commercial building. “This is a commercial building. There are several different businesses in it. The specific one is a travel company. Does one of them work for a travel company?”

My mother’s face falls. “Lana does.” She lets out a sigh and looks at my father, “what should we do?”

I look at my father. He seems exhausted, almost sickly. I think all my mother's years needed him to fight her battles have caught up to him. “Let’s go to the building and see who is there. If we find Lana, then we know they tried to scam us. This isn’t their first time.”

My mother, nods, she turns to Kamryn, “how is Kayla?”

Giving a polite smile, Kamryn responds, “she’s doing great. Alex surprised us with a puppy today. Would you like to see her?” My mother nods, and Kamryn turns around; Mittens is right behind her like a shadow. She picks up Mittens and shows her to my mother.

“She’s cute. What did you name her?” My mother asks, she seems excited to talk to Kamryn. Since their last visit, I have not given them much thought. They called and texted multiple times, apologizing, but I don’t want to hear it. I still don’t.

“Kayla named her Mittens because of her paws.”

“Mittens? That’s the perfect name for her.” Kamryn hands my mother the puppy. Mittens is excited to be getting extra attention. “How old is she?”

“Eight weeks. Mittens lost her mother. The woman Alex got her from was bottled feeding her and the four other puppies.”

“Poor thing. Well, she will have a good life here. Alex was always good with animals. They took to him quickly. We had a dog named Morgan when he was growing up. That dog went everywhere he went. She didn’t even need a leash, just followed him and came when he called her.” Hearing my mother speak fondly of me feels odd. I could probably count on one hand the number of times she said anything positive to me.

Feel odd just to have my door open. I ask them to come inside. They come in, and we all sit down in the main room. My mother puts Mittens down, and she immediately goes to Kamryn. We sit as we did before. My parents on the couch, I sit on a chair, and Kamryn sits on the arm. Mittens decides to crawl to me after sitting on Kamryn’s lap for a bit. She starts chewing on my hand, so I gave her a toy to chew on, this makes her settle into my lap.

I feel Kamryn’s arm on my shoulder. Looking up at her, I can’t help but wonder what she’s thinking. I place my hand on her leg. Her other hand covers mine. “Alex, your mother, and I would like to apologize again for our behavior last time. Especially to Kamryn. It’s clear she is a rare find.”

Kamryn is a rare find. I treasure her, that’s why her pet name is Schatzi. I nod, “I don’t know what you want me to say. You both seemed to dislike me most of my life. Why try to build a relationship now?”

I can tell my mother is hurt by my words. “Alex, I was not a good mother to you.” She lets out a sigh, “You were my gifted child. Everything you did was at the top level. I didn’t want to celebrate your achievements because I was afraid you would feel pressure to perform at that level all the time. I didn’t want you to feel like you always needed to be the best. I didn’t want you to feel like a failure or that we wouldn’t love you any more if you weren’t the best at something.”

I stare at my mother. Her words infuriate me. “So, making me feel like I was a mistake was better? Telling me how you wanted a girl was better? Forcing me to do things, I said that I didn’t want to do better?” I shake my head at her. “You constantly made me feel like I mattered less than Fritz, I even told you that. Why did you think I burned my baby pictures? Or walked off stage in the middle of a performance? I didn’t want to achieve anything because I knew it would matter less than Fritz sneezing. Tell the truth, Mother. If you truly want into my life, I need you to explain why you hated me so much as a child.”

Kamryn squeezes my hand and rubs my back. Her touch helps calm me, but I just want the conversation to be over and them leave. My father begins speaking next, “We didn’t treat you well. I am not sure why we favored Fritz. It was wrong for us to do.”

My mother starts talking next. “Fritz always wanted me. He would beg for me to hold him, carry him, sit on my lap. He always wanted me. When you were born, it was different. You never wanted to be in my lap. When I would try to hold you, I got pushed away. I didn’t bond with you the way I did Fritz; I felt unloved by you. Fritz would have nightmares and call for me. You never called for me. Fritz made me feel needed. I think I held resentment towards you because I didn’t feel as though you needed me.”

I stare at my mother. “I was a child; I may not have needed my mother all the time, but I deserved to be loved by her. Do you know how hard I worked to get you to notice me? What did you do when I questioned why my accomplishments weren’t celebrated?”

“I called you selfish. Then I often told you it was because Fritz worked harder than you. It was wrong of me to do that.”

“We were not the perfect parents, Alex. We failed both you and Fritz. One son lives with us and does nothing but play video games, and the other hates us.” My father lets out a sigh. “You have done well for yourself. I think one son got too much attention, and the other didn’t get enough.”

“Give me a few days to think about it. I need to process everything you both are saying.” I tell them. I feel as though my head is going to explode. Am I in the twilight zone? Maybe, this is the second time I have ever heard my mother admit she was wrong. And the first time happened a couple of months ago.

They say goodbye and leave. I look at Kamryn, “what do you think?”

She smiles at me and places her hand on my cheek, “I think they finally realize their mistakes and want you back in their lives. It’s your decision what you would like to do. I won’t judge you either way. At least they apologized to you.”

“They apologized because they realize what a screwup Fritz is and that they endorsed the wrong son. Now they want me back in their lives, so they don’t seem like horrible parents.” I run my fingers through my hair and try to calm down. “My entire life, they did nothing but ignore me, talk down to me, or force me to do things. I don’t know if I want them in our lives, I don’t want Fritz and Lana in our lives.” I let out a sigh. Kamryn wraps her arms around my neck. My hands go to her waist. I put my head against hers. “My life feels perfect now with you. I don’t want anything to come and ruin what I have.” I take a deep breath, “they mistreated you, I don’t know if I can forgive them.”

One of Kamryn’s hands touches my cheek. “I am not saying let your parents back into your life, but what I am saying is to forgive them. They are not worth being angry over. You don’t have to speak to them again. But I do think you should forgive them.”

I let out a sigh, “You’re right. At least your parents tried to make amends. That will help me forgive them.” Kamryn and I share a quick kiss. “Are you ready to go to bed?” Kamryn looks at me and nods her head. Taking her hand, I lead her back to our bedroom.