The Swiss Escape

Planning

At the library, I look up what I need to get myself and Kayla a passport. To my sad surprise, Johnny must be there. I try to think of a good reason to get her a passport. Then, it hits me. A cruise! I look up cruise tickets and find some to Alaska that I think Johnny might like. Then I go to the bank and pull mine and Kayla’s birth certificates out of the safety deposit box.

I take Kayla to dance class, and I call Jen. “Hey girl, what’s up?”

“Jen, I need to talk with you. But it has to be in person.”

“Okay, I can meet you for lunch later today? Want sushi?”

“That sounds great, thanks, Jen.”

I watch Kayla dance and know that wherever we go, I need to make sure she can dance. The smile never leaves her face as she dances. I hope wherever we go. I can provide us with a good life.

When the dance class is over Kayla, and I go to a sushi restaurant to meet Jen. I see Jen already sitting at a table. She waves us over; when Kayla sees her, she squeals, “Aunt Jen!”

“Hey, little miss!” Jen picks up Kayla and hugs her before helping her into the high chair. “So, mommy tells me about your plan. If you don’t want to say out loud, text it.”

“The person I saw today advised me not to text about it, so can we use the note section on your phone? Or I have an old fashion pen and paper?”

“What you want me to write like a peasant?” Jen laughs. “Yes, pen and paper are fine.”

“Great.” I get the things out of the diaper bag, then write down everything the attorney told me: Johnny’s company having unethical business practices, the dead attorney, and how I need to leave without him knowing.

“Oh my gosh. What are you going to do?” Jen looked concerned.

“Tomorrow, Johnny is taking Kayla and me to the zoo. I will push for us to fill out passport forms since it will be Friday, and the post office is open. When he asks why I am going to tell him I want to go on a cruise. I printed some off at the library, hoping he will buy it.

Jen looks through the papers. “They seem very kid-friendly and not at all romantic.”

“Yeah, well, that’s because I am having a hard time convincing myself to sleep with him. When he touches me, my skin crawls. He kissed my neck last night, and I wanted to scream.”

“That’s disgust, sister. How soon until you can leave?”

“It could take two months to get Kayla’s passport. In the meantime, I will look for a job and hoard money.” The waiter came by with our food. I grab Kayla’s to cut up her chicken.

“Where are you going to go?”

“Wherever I can get a job and place to live.”

Jen thought for a moment. “You have to keep it hidden from Johnny, but I have a spare laptop. You could use it to apply for jobs.”

“That would be great! Thank you.” We talk about other little things until we finish the meal.

After lunch, I drive to Jen’s house so that she can give me the laptop. Then I go home to put Kayla down for her nap. Once she is asleep, I pull out the computer and create a resume and CV.

Two hours later, Kayla is up, and the job search has to wait. I hide the laptop under my bed, where I didn’t think Johnny will look. Kayla and I spend the rest of the day playing.

I am finishing cooking when Johnny gets home. Kayla runs to him; this puts a big smile on his face. Walking into the kitchen, Johnny tells Kayla, “what’s mommy cooking that smells so good?”

I smile. It always feels nice when Johnny compliments me. “How was your day? Anything exciting happen today?” I asked Johnny.

He smiles and kisses my cheek. “Same old’ same old.’ What about you?” He looks at Kayla. “Did you and mommy do anything fun today?”

Kayla smiled. “I when to dance and saw Aunt Jen.”

“You did, wow. That’s a lot. Are you tired?”

“I not tired I awake, daddy,” Kayla replies, putting her hands on her hips.

Johnny looks at me. “Well, someone is in a sassy mood.”

“All day,” I say, trying to seem happy. “I have dinner ready if you want to help Kayla wash her hands?”

“Great. Kaykay, let’s go wash our hands.”

I plate the food while Johnny helps Kayla wash her hands. Then they come back out and sit. I place the last few things on the table, and they begin to eat. “Johnny, I wanted to talk to you about something after Kayla goes to bed. I would like us to take a family vacation if that is okay?”

Johnny looks at Kayla, then to me. “Sure, anything you want, honey.”

I get Kayla to bed about an hour later. Feeling nervous about my talk with Johnny, I know I need to seem reasonable. “Hey,” I said as I walked back into the room.

“Hi,” Johnny replied without looking up from his phone.

“I want to take a family cruise. We can do a four day one, just something to get us out of town for a bit. Remember when I got pregnant with Kayla? We were on vacation, and I was so relaxed. It might work a second time.”

My words finally get Johnny’s attention. He puts down his phone and looks up at me. “Why a cruise?” he asked, sounding amused.

“They offer childcare, and everyone is heavily background checked. We could put Kayla in childcare, have some time for ourselves, then have family time.” I give a smile hoping it looks genuine. Acting is not something I am good at; I want to get through this month or two.

Johnny motions for me to sit next to him; when I do, he pulls me closer. I rest my head on his shoulder, trying not to tense my body as he touched me. “Where would you like to go?”

“I thought an Alaskan cruise would work. But some do have to stop in Canada, so Kayla will need a passport. Do you want to do that tomorrow? Then we can talk more about where to go?” I was surprised by how casual my voice sounded.

“Yes, we can. How long will it take to get the passport?”

“A few weeks. But it shouldn’t be too bad. They will notify me when their mailed so I can book the cruise then. Would you like a four day one so you can get back to work or a seven?”

“I don’t want to be gone too long, so four-day is better.” I knew he is probably referring to being away from his other women, but I didn’t say anything.

“Sounds great. Then Kayla doesn’t have to miss dance or anything.”

Johnny smiles, then grabs my hip and squeezes. “Maybe we should go try right now?” He whispers in my ear.

Trying not to flinch or show how repulsed I am, I smile at him. “If that is what you want.” Johnny grabs me and leads me to our bedroom.

When we finish, he goes right to sleep. I decided to get up and clean since I feel so discussed with myself. I take a hot shower and wonder how long I can keep this up; maybe it would get easier with time.