New Alpha

The Change's

Ever since my grandpa passed away a few months ago, my family hasn’t been quite the same. My 16th birthday just felt like another day without him here to celebrate. The family has been different, and my home has been changing ever since. My dad started a new job and my mom had to get one to help my dad pay the bills. Grandma sold the last cows they had and doesn’t plan on getting anymore. She said she could not handle it by herself, and she always cried when they sold at auction anyway. I think it's because she has a big heart and loves all animals, and it was grandpa’s job to take them to auction. Overheard grandma telling my dad that he didn’t have to worry about taking care of her, that grandpa had already planned for everything, and she would be taken care of with the money grandpa set aside for this situation. Dad and mom both insisted that they would help so she would never want anything. On top of all these changes, I have been feeling different as well, like something is changing.

Dad says that I have been feeling different because I’m 16 now and my hormones are probably acting up. I mean that could be it.

That could be the reason I feel like I've gotten bigger and stronger than most my age. I only know that because of my last doctor’s visit, so I can go back to school. Did I mention I am smarter than most kids my age, and I’ll be starting my senior year really soon? I, however, do not think it’s because of hormones because, of course, I had already hit puberty a couple of years ago. Mom says I take after my grandfather. He was a big man. Very strong and sturdy with reliable smarts. She says that dad wasn’t as big or strong, but he had lots of smarts. She thinks that grandpa’s genes skipped a generation and that I had the whole package in turn, some girl would be very lucky to have me. However, that does not explain the other things that are happening to me. My dreams have been so vivid and clear, like they were happening in real life. They started about two months after my grandpa died.

At first, they weren’t so clear or easy to understand. I would see my grandpa fishing some nights. Other nights I would see wolves, but as they progressed on, I would feel it in my dreams. I end up running through the woods at night feeling the cool breeze on my face. Going through the creeks, I could feel the water on my feet and splash me in the face. It wasn’t. That's impossible, right? Just recently I felt another part of me was searching for something or was it someone? Up until now, it didn’t feel like I was there in real life. When it started to feel real to me, it is also the time I began to spot eyes staring at me. I feel like I know these eyes like I’ve seen them before, but that can't be. It’s just a dream, but I can feel myself running after those eyes. For a couple of nights now, I’ve been running after them and I finally caught a glimpse of her. I’ve never seen her before nor do I imagine I ever will because, of course, she is just a figment of my imagination. I must have good taste. She is by far the most beautiful girl I have ever imagined seeing.

The next few nights, I kept seeing her face, but I’m still running after her. Her image fades from her to wolves somewhere in the middle of the dream, and it only happens after I try to talk to her. The first time my dream switched up on me I actually stopped in my tracks, confused, and the wolves kept running, but I didn’t see the girl anywhere. I feel determined to find the truth in my dream. My grandpa always said that your dreams were a way for your surroundings to tell you what's going to happen or send you warnings. He said that's how he knew when it was time to go fishing. I'm starting to wonder if he wasn't actually joking about that. I'm stuck, and I have no idea what could be happening or what kind of warning this would be. I'm usually pretty smart about puzzles or problem-solving. Maybe my perception is off, or I'm not focusing on the right things. This is going to bug me until I find out why I keep having this dream. It's like I can't focus on anything else, and I just want things to go back to the way they were.

If I could go back, and make things the way they were before, I could live my happy-go-lucky life and maybe all this crazy stuff would stop happening to me. On the other hand, though, the girl I chase in my dreams, is really hard not to focus on. She doesn't seem like a dream. She is too perfect for my over-active imagination to just conjure up out of nowhere, right? What do wolves, this girl, and my grandpa have in common, and why would they occupy my mind so frequently? I get why I see my grandpa occasionally, but the girl and wolves make no sense to me at the moment. I think I might be having a mental break-down, and I am only wigging out in my dreams. I honestly don't know if I'm just going crazy or if it's my body dealing with grief in its own way by preoccupying my mind with puzzles.

Fortunately, the next night she wasn't in my dreams. It was just me, I was all alone running and I couldn't stop running. I wasn't in control like usual, and I didn't like that. I ran so fast and so far I couldn't recognize where I was anymore. I finally stopped at this lake. It was a beautiful scene with mountains and tall oak trees surrounding the crystal clear lake. I walk along the water taking in everything, then I spot him sitting there fishing in the light of breaking dawn. I approach slowly, then I realize who I'm staring at, and I freeze dead in my tracks. It can't be because my grandpa died. What's going on with me, my head is just spinning. He speaks to me, but it's not me, it's more like a memory. I keep listening, and I realize it's the fishing and hunting trip he took me on last year, but how could I have forgotten such a beautiful place?

Remembering that conversation we were having, I started to remember the weird and very unusual things my grandpa had said and some of them made no sense then, nor do they now. He was warning me of the changes I would be going through this year, but I just chalked it up to puberty and graduating and starting my life so young. His last words ring in my head. With these changes to come, your life will also change forever, and it will be your choice only. Then he laughs, points at the water and I look in. I saw a wolf, beautiful, huge with magnificent brownish black fur. Everything begins to fade, then I realize it's a reflection. It's my reflection! What does this mean? Why is my reflection a wolf? Everything goes dark, and my alarm clock goes off. It's time to get ready for my first day of senior year.