the bad boy who loves and want's the girl

Chapter twenty look whatcha did

Edward's point a view

I hated seeing her the way see has been she hasn't been at school again I had been spending day's and night's with her I still feel bad for what I had shown her and I had been telling her that, she said she didn't blame me not for one sec she was glad that I had shown her what Jon was doing.

she may of been glad but I knew how much pain she's been feeling still all over again and to say I think she's changing me to at the same time I really haven't been doing the jobs I should be doing cause of being here for Carolyn she never wanted me to leave her she wanted me by her side and I really don't know why and I didn't want to risk on leaving her cause I was afraid of what she might do like hurt her self or do something not saying she will but she might. see every one thinks they know me but really they don't every one has a past so let me share a little of mine since I am saying that I am afraid of what Carolyn might do.

see I had a little sister and her name was Emily Rose our life wasn't so great our parents didn't care what was going on but me her big brother did Emily had a boy friend and he wasn't so good I know what you are gonna say like I'm no angel my self but just hear me out so you understand. okay so my sister's boy friend was so bad that our parents didn't care how he was to her she always came to me and told  me what was going on and she would cry every time she was hurting.she had kept to her self not speaking to any one but me of course,well any ways one day I was out and came home I saw that my sister was no where to be found then I thought about where she could be if she didn't even want to be home there's this spot in the woods that her and I would go to just us  with no one to even bother us any ways I went there and my heart just went I felt like it got ripped out of my chest she had left a note right by her and to say how she died is still painful for me there's this tree we would be sitting at and we'll there she was hanging from it with the note that said. 

I'm sorry brother I love you always.

so you see what had happened changed me big time if I didn't loose my sister I wouldn't be who I am now she is what kept me from the things her boy friend did but he was much worse then what Jon did and not just him I take blame to but Brad he's the real crazy one on what he dose. but now you know a little of my past I am worried for Carolyn cause in so many ways she is like my sister that's why I call her doll or just even baby doll between her and my sister they looked like each other I just don't want what happen to Emily happen to Carolyn even though I believe she is strong and let me say I thought my sister was but turn out not so much.

I just knew I had to go deal with Jon and explain to him what Carolyn is planing on doing he don't even know what he has done to her and how she is really feeling, so be for I left Carolyn's side I told her that I have to go do something I asked her if she's going to be alright and not go any where or do any thing she said that she was going to be at her house and that she wouldn't go any where or to do any thing so I hold it to her so with that I gave her a hug and I went on my way to go deal with Jon.

I headed to my car knowing where he would be witch was at the school now I haven't been going I only went cause of Carolyn any how I drove there and I wait for school to be over I sat in my car in the parking lot soon enough I herd the bell with that I got out of my car and saw Jon that's when I walked over to him with that hatred feeling, he saw how mad I was at him and that's when I had gotten in his face and had it out with him right in the schools parking lot.

Edward: you baster look whatcha f*****g did you pace a s**t ( as he punched Jon in the face )

Jon: what the f**k man.

Edward: seriously that's all you have to say after what your doing?

Jon: what are you talking about?

Edward: oh you know don't play dumb cause of you Carolyn isn't coming back to school she is dropping out .

Jon: you know it's not all my fault if you hadn't.

I stop him right there.

Edward: dude really if I hadn't no if you hadn't  your the one who didn't tell her the truth you kept so much from her and cause of that and seeing you with her here she is hurting you just had to go and pick up another one just like that.

Jon: it's call moving on bro she don't want nothing to do with me and her brother oh s**t.

Edward: her brother? Who's her brother Jon?

Jon: I'm not saying.

Edward: tell me now.

Jon: no way.

Edward: then I'll find out my self.

Jon: you do that but know I was told to leave her alone and to get over her and so I did no thanks to you.

Edward: don't pin it on me you should have told her oh wait a minute you told her how Brad and I are but not you you lied to her telling her your not like that huh just to get what and who you want. well we will see about that I wonder will I get what I want I mean I'm already spending day's and night's with her why do you think I haven't been at school or doing jobs with you I been with her all this time and why's that you say cause she been wanting me to be with her.

Jon: your lying.

Edward: am I like I would have you go ask her your self oh but wait a minute she don't want nothing to do with you any more so you can't ( with a smirk on his face ) and just know you did this to her if any thing happens to her where she dose something to her self it's your fault and I hope you will be able to live with your self with that.

with that I walked away heading to my car as I got to my car I got in and drove up to him saying one more thing to him be for I left to head back to Carolyn.

Edward: oh and I will come after you if any thing dose happen to her to.

after that I left leaving him with so much guilt by the time I got back to Carolyn she was in the kitchen making something to eat witch I am glad cause I am the one who had done that for her so it's good she is taking the step to do it her self I mean she still won't go any where but least she's not in her room like she's been till this point.

suddenly I herd her phone ring then I saw a name pop up on her phone the name shown was big brother so that's when I asked her who her big brother was then she told me her brother's name is Ace so that's who her brother is have no idea why he kept his family from us but at the same time I have a pretty dam good idea as to why any ways I will be having a talk with him when I can.

Edward: so dose he come see you?

Carolyn: sometimes.

Edward: that's awesome .

Carolyn: ya it is he is the best brother in the world he makes sure that I am okay and nothing bad happens to me I don't know what he would do if he looses me.

just then it hit me the flash back from when Emily was alive now I know and understand why Ace kept his family a secret it's cause he didn't want what I didn't want when my sister was alive now that I put two and two together I really don't need to have a talk with him.

hours went by and I asked if Carolyn would still love if I was around and of course I get the same thing I really don't know what's going on with us but I would love to find out as soon as I can I mean I like Carolyn and not just cause Jon had her or any thing just that I like her cause I like her but I know she is not ready and when the time is right I will talk to her about her and I. 

I did have to head back home some time though I mean I don't have a curfew or any thing I live on my own have been since the passing of my sister I couldn't stand my mother and father on how they where I was the only one who actually knew how to feel I still do any ways I told Carolyn I would have to go home at some point that's when she asked if we both could go to my house witch I was fine with her getting out of the house even though it's to be in another. 

so with that we took my car she left hers cause she wanted people to think she has been home and not out so we ended up at my house and spent us time no one bothered us it was a quite night with just the two of us I was soon getting tired was going to go to bed that's when she asked if she could sleep in my bed with me truthfully I was shocked to hear her ask me that I really don't know what's going on but I did say she could we went to my room and went to my bed I put the t.v on and shut the light off all we did was cuddle.

 her head end up being on my chest I didn't know how far she was thinking on going just then she kissed me on the lips and her lips where so soft I wanted to have it go much more then that but I had to stop her cause I know the feeling she is having and this is not right I told her to just get sleep she thought I was mad at her but I told her that I am not she did end up falling a sleep soon after so I watched a little more t.v then shut it off and went to sleep with my arm around her.