CHAPTER 44
After September, the rest of the year slipped away in a flash, almost without me noticing it. I found myself at the end of December hoping that Christmas holidays would end quickly, so that I could resume my daily university routine.
Staying home psychologically destroyed me. I was a very bad wife and a very bad mother, but I tried not to show it too explicitly. I simulated cheerfulness and a sort of prepackaged happiness. Besides, I was not the only one. Maybe I pretended less well than others, and from time to time I got lost in myself. But I was allowed to. Those thoughts were only mine, I didn’t invite others to be part of them nor did I torment them with my dissatisfaction that I never made clearly visible. I stroked my heart to heal the wound. Then I came back to the pre
