CHAPTER 57
The days, the months piled up on me, without mercy. Geoff’s words had hurt me, but they led me to reflect on myself, on my behaviour. I had always looked for the best solution, I was convinced of this at least. I was beginning to understand that maybe it wasn’t the best, but the easiest, especially for me. The one that wouldn’t have forced me to face dramas and separations. I accepted my grief so as not to have others suffer the pain that would inevitably have poured over me, because it was me who would have been the cause of it. Combined with the disdain towards me. Geoff’s, my children’s, the rest of my family, friends, colleagues. And maybe even Peter’s.
My everyday life remained suspended, studded with a series of shameful “ifs”. If I had confronted Peter that night, if I
