January

Chapter 3

Dear Emi,

Today, she wasn't at school. But it's a busy day, so much had happened then, I forgot to do my part in our group report, in result I got separated alone. The lower years also held a contest and as college students, we are asked to judge their performance.

The boy must have been struck by love at first sight. A case of unrequited feelings towards a person they saw for the first time. Judging from the entries, the writer hasn't grasped the idea yet, or perhaps they were in denial.

Certainly, it wasn't just wishful thinking. Just by looking at the entries, one could say the obvious signs. With all the books and movies she consumed just about every day, that it became so repetitive, she could easily spot a blooming youthful love, as long as you're aware of the patterns.

And if her conclusions were proven, then it means that she just got that outstanding beauty, a college student couldn't even resist.

Smiling fondly, Erine stretched out her arms to alleviate her stiffness. Hours have already passed, just as she arrived home all she did was inattentively dropping her back, and at her pink study table, she spent the time just leisurely scanning the diary. The light inside the room was her tiny lamp with a Hello Knitty shade encompassing a cat-shaped lamp holder, shade of pink gleaming through, barely hitting the books scattered at the edge of her table.

Not that she intended to study, it was just a guise in case her mother came to check. Right at the moment, the diary was her only interest.

In her past-future life, she has consumed romance novels more than a normal person could. She has always been so diligent when it comes to those type of genres, now that she had been reading the same concept over and over again, she got fed up with it over time.

Now, stories from real-life interest her more than fictions. Though she still read books to keep her occupied, anything worthy of reading.

"Emi was a real person," Erine muttered to no one. At least that's what she realized after reading. She gets this feeling as if the writer was talking to someone, especially to this Emi person.

If her suspicion were right, then why bother writing it down, they could just talk face to face. Is the writer the introverted type? Doesn't seem so. His entries are quite short, to be honest, and a little unsteady. At times she couldn't even comprehend some words due to the messy handwriting.

Dear Emi,

I know you're going to ask me for New Years Resolution for today. If anything, I don't have one. Why would I think of one when I never get to do achieve them every year.

But if you force me into it, I think I might have one thing to write, that is maybe to approach her? How should I act then, would she look at me if I also play basketball? Or should I just tease her? 

This made Erine shake her head. This is why girls misunderstood one person's intention when all they need to do is to convey their feelings directly. That's why she's been assertive with her feelings towards Luke.

Looking back, she's always has been a whiny brat, leading her to develop a frank attitude. It is both a disadvantage and could definitely be considered a strong point. Being forward allows no room for insecurity and hesitation. Still, it wasn't always a good approach, because you might unknowingly upset someone on your way.

It's the advantage she has among Luke's admires, although it took her quite a long time to finally turn the tables.

"It's the end, huh."

Erine muttered as she arrived at the final entry, marked with the current date.

It wasn't proper to hold onto it, the owner must be agonizing about the diary. Tomorrow, he'll just have to attend school early to slip quietly slip the book back. In case the owner finds out, she'll just have to make an excuse, just like how she frequently does whenever she would get her children to do something.

Pushing the diary aside, Erine checked her tiny alarm clock. It was past her curfew, and it's going to be bad if, by chance, her mother catches her.

Her first day in the past was pretty uneventful compared to her previous one. There's no surprise since she's been avoiding troubles. She's too old to cause one.

Looking by the window view, the neighbouring house bit by bit starts to get dark and quieter, there were few businessmen coming home from their work, dogs and cats without owners scattered across the street, some howls at uncaring passersby.

Then in the middle of the night came a familiar grey car pulling by in front of Erine's house. The light from the front almost blinded her as it came in a stop. Discreetly, she walked in tiptoe as she hid by the window. From below she saw two figures, she couldn't hear what they were talking about though she could tell that none of them was talking in a friendly manner.

They were arguing. But for the sake of not waking her up, they chose to talk in a hushed tone.

Her eyebrows raise up in concern as she stares at the silhouette of her parents. Both are already walking towards the front door to continue bantering by the living room.

Erine knew the final result of her parents. And she never thought she would end up with a broken family. Although it was never confirmed if the accusations were true, it is clear that her mother was neglected.

Earlier, she has thought of a plan, that before this all will start, she must do something to be able to change their future. Looking at the state of her parent's relationship, it seems as if it had already begun even before she went to college.

They must have hidden it well. It's not that surprising anyway, even in the past, she hardly sees them ever interact. It was either her father was away on a business trip or her mother was too busy by the household chores.

For all she knew, they must have been fighting way before at this very moment. However, it's still early to decide whether a situation is hopeless. If there is time there is going to be a way.

It's already late at night, Erine's younger body wasn't used staying up late, that just a second of closing her eyes, she's already been drifted into sleep.

When morning came, Erine made sure to wake up before her annoying alarm clock and gave it her nasty finger while she still has the chance. Before exiting her room she made sure to suffocate her alarm clock under her covers. Once satisfied, she smiled widely and opened her door. It was only a small slit when her movements halted.

"You just came home from your business trip and you're already heading out?" In those words, Erine could feel her mothers anger, her voice trembling already on the verge of crying.

"I have other business I must take care of."

How the words were spoken, it resonates through her, her eyes widening as she muffled her gasps with her palm.  Lips quivering in wonder, how this has become of her father.

In the past, she has known him as the sweet and doting father, but right now his voice was far from those. It almost feels as if she was listening to a stranger.

Unable to muster the courage to interfere, Erine pulled the knob once again, her fingers hesitant as she shut the door.

So, it was one of those mornings, where she didn't really feel like doing anything, let alone attending school. With all these things stopping her, she still went, this time there were only one or two students wandering on the hallway.

There were already about four or five bags in some of the desks, though no one was in their seat.

Erine sighs. Michelle and Elizabeth weren't at the school yet, there was no one else to talk to.

She left her seat after setting her things down her desk. The school was big and packed with entertainment, it could keep you occupied while waiting for the first bell, but none of it was able to bring her spirits back.

She knew her parents would eventually separate but relieving it again, Erine didn't think that she would be this affected.

"Do not show your face ever again."

It happened thirty years ago and in this time as well, it will surely come four years later. With this in thought, her hands gripped the hem of her skirt, eyes fixed on her pair of shoes, as she remembers her first sad holiday, but unlike their first Chritsmas, it was the only Christmas without a father, but present lay by the big Christmas tree.

It was the same present then, given by her father.

The empty hallway slowly began to get crowded, the laughter and gossips filled her ears, the louder it gets the more she felt as if this was a dream. Whether it's a dream she wanted to wake up from or doesn't want to end, she wasn't sure.

Originally, she had planned to get something warm to drink, but somehow, she ended up elsewhere, specifically at the schools' backyard. It was located in the middle between the basketball court and the college building. She must have gotten there for not minding her own surroundings.

Though there were really nothing special at the place, it's just the schools garden where anyone hardly notices, and students weren't really interested in some random flowers and trees.

Still, her feet have taken her there. In her past, she rarely ever get to this place.

Without thinking much of it, she wandered around the garden, trying to occupy herself by naming each flower.

And when she spotted the lone tree standing like a widowed lover at the edge of the garden, she unconsciously smiles as she remembers some stories she reads. A romantic story of a young timid girl meeting a sleeping boy by the trunk, the boy was rumoured to be an unpleasant delinquent student but flowers surround him as the girl watches him sleep.

Shamelessly, Erine was too endorsed in romance books that she almost sees her life as the same as a fairytale, dreamy and magical. 

Though in reality, it wasn't destiny at all when she's the one whose pushing herself on him.

Suddenly, she had the urge to touch the tree, grasping on each roughness, each pattern, the feeling under her palm surprisingly soothes her.

This place was like a great reminder of her grandmother, warm and understanding, kind and comforting. She was closing her eyes at the sheer gentleness, her chest began to lighten up.

"Why are you here?"

There was it again, a whisper in her ears that baffled her the most. Unconsciously, she removes her hand by the trunk.

As she was about to take a step away, a hand had suddenly come from behind her and had slammed a part of the trunk, leaves began to fall by the force brought upon it.

"You...," A voice from behind her penetrated her ears like a spear seeping through. "And you had the guts to show yourself to me, huh?"

Erine caught in her breath as she turns around. She was expecting someone she might recognize, maybe someone from her class, only to get more confused when she didn't found the person familiar at all. And to top it all, the person wasn't wearing the required uniform, it was civilian clothes allowed to be worn by college students.

The person was also huge almost like a bear compared to her small figure. Height differences usually don't overwhelm her, but the way that the guy looks at her with great disdain made her widen her eyes in shock. She wasn't that scared but she feels troubled.

If she hadn't even met the person yet, why is he looking at her in that way?