January

Chapter 8

Erine couldn't really understand, whatever it is being said, as much she spends her time thinking about it, nothing comes to mind. What's funnier, and somewhat strange, was that she found the old woman's words significant. But she's sane enough to even believe that those words held any meaning at all.

When her eyes travelled downwards, a piece of cardboard was hanging around her neck, laced with a red string. And in the big black ink says two noteful words, 'Fortune Teller'.

In the past, Erine had encountered such people. It seems that anyone in this field isn't really consistent with their predictions, and would often turn out to be frauds. Even though she knew this, there is just something in the old lady's expression that made her want to listen.

Curious to know more, she asks, "What do you mean?"

It would have been better to just brush it off but hearing an uncertain prediction wouldn't hurt, especially when things even more unusual had already happened. She's a time traveller, the old lady is a fortune teller, both could relate about one thing. But instead of making it more understandable, Erine became even more baffled as she heard what the old lady had said next.

With a slight squeeze on Erine's shoulder, the old lady then said, very eerily, "That place. A place where it all began and where everything ended. This, you must remember."

There was something in the old lady's dark and obscured eyes, it held many things, far more things than what Erine thinks she is aware of.

And that is not only it.

Without really thinking about it, she asked, "Have we met before?"

For a moment, wide dark eyes began to tremble, a chill crawled down her spine.

"Erine!"

Her gaze immediately shifted away from the old lady. Elizabeth was already juggling with two bottles on hand. It would have been something she could ignore but when she noticed something strange, Erine's eyes began to search which is it.

A small gasp slowly went out from her mouth, eyes began to blur as the scenery from her vision began to fade and blur only to see a different place. It was like a blinking light, flickering like an unnoticeable glitch.

"I-I can't see..."

Erine shakes her head in disbelief, head began spinning, movements sluggish as she glanced back. The old lady was still there but was already walking away. She tried to call out but when she did, her voice let out faint words as her consciousness became so distant.

For the second time that day, she fainted and dreamed of the same place. Of a young man who was still holding her hand, looking as if he was waiting for her arrival.

There weren't any words to speak. But all they did was bask in the sunlight, the light morning sun touches her face like a soft caress, a sensation she didn't know one could ever feel. Then her eyes went to where the man is, his face blurred. Perhaps a little bit unsettling but what's weird is she felt safe in the man's presence, even more than that, there was something else, something she never had before.

She wanted to know what was it.

But before she could understand, she has already lost it.

When her eyes fluttered open, it was wet, as well as her cheeks. 

Erine scanned the room, just like how her chest squeezed painfully, the room felt terribly empty. Putting a hand over her nape, Erine bend her head down and tried to catch her breath. Then her mind travelled back to the old lady, wondering where the person might have gone to. That's when she finally noticed the hospital room, without any pink color for a change.

Still feeling light-headed a bit, Erine's vision spun a little as she tries to get up. Elizabeth entered the room at the very moment, making her forget the door she was about to close. It was so sudden, it didn't take time for Elizabeth to come and offer her a hand.

"You shouldn't be moving around so soon," Elizabeth said as she carefully sets down her canned chocolate drink on one of the tables. From afar, Erine sluggishly thought of having some as well, the smell was so tempting, triggering her demanding stomach.

It seems that Elizabeth understood her silent cravings and even pulled a can of another chocolate drink from her black blazer, Erine had thought she was a fairy.

"The doctor said it's okay to leave if you feel better now," Elizabeth said as she strokes some strands of her hair. "Maybe it's a bit exaggerated for bringing you here, I'm sorry."

Erine felt entirely responsible for this incident. And if there is anyone who needed to apologize, it was herself. She's the one who couldn't keep her act straight and keeps getting emotional over things.

"No, I'm glad you brought me here," Erine said with a tiny grin.

Grasping their hands together, Erine somehow became aware of Elizabeths' growing tension. It was just a slight shiver, one would have not noticed, because however you look at it was unexpected.

Elizabeth then pried her hands away, almost immediately, growing stiff of something. Erine knew it was impossible to reach out for now. At that moment she let it slip away.

"Then I'll be calling the nurse. Wait for me." Elizabeth said without looking back.

As soon as Elizabeth left, Erine was left thinking back to all those years, to today's importance. To how precious this friendship was until it became so severed even though they're still tightly connected.

"No..."

Thinking about it made her head only throb. There are just too many issues that are needed to be dealt with this second chance. Now, now, with this much obligation, she started to think that second chances are a pain in the ass.

There are just so many things her past self left for her to handle.

It was already seven in the evening by the time Erine got home. To her, it has been a long day of fainting and smelling the evening meal filling the air was she needed for a change. Wanting to surprise her mother, Erine crept slowly into the kitchen in tiptoes and socks.

When finally faced the slender back of her mother, Erine felt a rush of memories. The sudden thought came in an overwhelming force that the plan of surprising her unsuspecting mother was replaced instead by a wrap around the waist.

"You scared me!"

Erine couldn't help but laugh. Her voice howling in the whole house until tears are brimming at the side of her eyes. She was being loud that it must have been annoying for the whole neighborhood, but there is nothing really wrong when you are relieving yourself from all the stress.

They chatted over the delicious meal her mother prepared, took a relaxing bath before climbing the soft mattress of her spring bed. It was only within minutes when she opened her eyes, completely awake. Opening the lamp, the cover fell down from her chest as she rummages through her bag at the bedside table.

The black diary has just been conveniently placed on top of school notebooks. Leaning back on the headboard, Erine flipped the book, the pages turning in a rush as it halted at the last entry.

"Tomorrow, should I approach her? I'll wait at the entrance after school. Should I grab a basketball? Should I grab a book? No, I don't think she'll be interested in a nerd. I even doubt acting stupid would get her to notice me. Well, whatever, wish me luck, Emi."

As she finishes the words on the page, seconds passed and there are no reactions made yet. Although she manages to close the diary, Erine unconsciously twirled a strand of hair at the side of her burning ear as she tucked her body under the cover. Clock ticks, eyes close tight when a smile she was suppressing for a while finally made its' way stubbornly into her mouth.

Putting a hand against her stupidly grinning lips, Erine only muttered, "If you acted stupidly in front of me, of course, I would notice you."

Entrance, after school...

Erine stared at the ceiling above. Maybe Prince would be happy...

Or maybe the Erine from now wouldn't be so happy about it.

The very next day, Erine had developed dark circles under her eyes, and it's slightly bothering her. Last night was spent flipping and tossing around as she thought a long list of things to say. Even got up again to take some notes, only to sleep with a blank paper on her desk.

"Ahh..." Erine groaned loudly as she begrudgingly went through the class. It's as if the day can't get any worse, the teachers even gratefully prepared five pages long of lectures. At one subject, she remained standing for not knowing the answer.

"Why am I so unlucky these days?"

Elizabeth and Michelle hopelessly glance at each other. They are already getting worried, the lunches in front of them were already done, but Erine had just been stirring the rice and rearranging the main dish until it already looked like fried porridge rice.

Elizabeth set her spoon down as she finally decided to speak. "Is something bothering you? You don't look well."

"Yeah, you look ugly." Michelle said frankly making Elizabeth poke her by the elbow. "What? It's true."

Nodding her head unconsciously, Erine said, "I do look ugly. Do you think my creepy eye bags would scare my admirer away?"

Instead of the question, the two seems to focus more on the fact that she said 'admirer'.

"Who?" Both almost said in sync.

Still playing with the food, her mouth started twirling as she thought deeply. "I m already old, why am I so worried about this?"

Besides, she's already married to Luke, technically married, and even had two children. Had a dozen of suitors, whether still single or not, and none of them she entertained or had caught her attention. As the result, she's been ridiculed for having high standards when she most definitely suited to marry into the lower class.

"Erine, as high schoolers it's normal to want to look good even for admirers we don't like. It's totally normal." Elizabeth said, clearly trying to cheer her up.

This had only made her smile disappear more. Even if that were true, it doesn't erase the fact that her mentality is still twenty years older, with a mindset different from youngsters who couldn't care less about the world outside school, it sure is hard to act carefree. Immature and reckless, teenagers tend to be daring but heedless at the very least. Erine viewed adulthood as self-control and yet complex. It was an age where you'll be the best version of yourself to finally realize how shameful you've acted in your younger years.

Still, Erine still hasn't felt her very best version even at forty.

"Say," Erine started. "if you have another chance to live your life, what would you change?"

Again, both exchanges look, which Erine already knew what it meant. It must have been a weird question from her. Well, it really is strange to talk about something else other than Luke. Other than that, if both were really were her friends, they would know exactly that Erine isn't one to engage in such topics.

It was Elizabeth who first answered, and with a huge playful grin, "Spend the time travelling around the world. And eat the things I want without any restrictive diets, get a perfect score in quizzes--"

"Okay stop," Erine held up her hand, the other hand massaging her temple. "Seriously, I think my eye bags just got bigger."

Elizabeth let out a laugh as Erine playfully rained her with light punches. They have just been throwing names back and forth when they finally noticed Michelle's long silence.

"I think it's not something you would change," Michelle said out of the blue, her voice sounded distant and far. "Instead, it's what you would not change."

Both stopped from the catfight and stared at the solemn friend, the answer had pierced something in Erine, got her thinking of the far future where a family is waiting for her return.

"It has been shown in movies, depicted in books and other materials I could find, and it looks fun. I mean time travelling, you could do so much with it. You change your future by messing up the past, and you will get the ending you wanted the most. It's easy to change the future and it's hard to keep it remaining unchanged." Michelle said, sounding like someone who had already gone through it. "But as I thought of it, the future, the past doesn't really matter. What's important is you. The biggest hindrance to the future and from your past is you."

Elizabeth couldn't understand at all and had to say the biggest, "What?"

Although it became a pretty serious subject, Erine had become very interested in Michelles' sentiments, even though words seldom came out from her mouth, her words could really be profound. In the past Erine would always associate Michelle with the word blue, always the first one to spout nonsense.  

Lunch ended just like that and Erine had already forgotten about the talk. Hours passed with a struggle and the most awaited dismissal came.

Erine had already rushed shoving notebooks and pencils inside her poor bag. Running and jogging to climb down the stairs, she couldn't even hear Elizabeth calling out for her name. Although her mind was flooded by the thoughts of how she could reject Prince, Erine still continued. Never mind if she came unprepared, she'll think about what to say once she hears what that person has to say.

But as she gets to the gate, she saw no one was waiting, just a bunch of students moving out to go home.

He clearly says he will talk to me...

It was so sudden and she never really considered the guy to actually back out. The anxiety was already killing her. Having no other choice, she pulled out the diary and read the last page, and as expected, another entry was added.

It says...

Dear Emi,

I chickened out. I was resolute yet when I saw her with that other guy giving her a Starbeans coffee, I feel so small. I mean what could a vending machine coffee do? That coffee is even worth more than my allowance a day. So, unmanly of me. 

And yet my friends had already gone home so I had time alone. And I went to our favourite spot so I feel a little happy. I just hope you were here telling those stories again.

The sunset was beautiful, and the lake is beautiful as ever.

"So, he backed out..." Erine felt relieved and disappointed at the same time. A combination for someone who really can't figure out what they should feel.

Clutching the notebook, Erine starts to wonder where this 'favorite place' could be. Nothing was shared in the entry, and nothing was ever mentioned since the first entry. Seriously though, just by reading someone else's diary, one couldn't really say that they knew him completely.

Still, things are better known little by little. That even you talked for hours about the things you fancy, or even just some things just plainly stupid, there is just no way you would know a person as you know yourself. There must be a boundary that you set apart from other people.

Having said all of this, it still didn't stop the past Erine to poke her nose into Luke's business. It's already fortunate that the poor guy didn't scold or confronted her for it.

Sunset and lake...

It must have been that special. And Emi knows where it is, whoever that person is.

There is no use dreading over something that didn't happen. For now, she owes Elizabeth a credible explanation for the way she acted.

"Well, just went to an admirer who wants to confess and yet he chooses sunset and lake over me." Was the easiest explanation but Elizbeth would only think she's immature and desperate and it doesn't sound pleasing to Erine's ego.

"Where are we?"

A sudden voice made her twist her neck, unconsciously searching for the person who'd spoken.

Unfamiliar images, strange emotions came like a roller coaster. Head whirring and hazy as she tried to breathe through such appalling symptoms. It was almost the same sensation she would receive randomly.

It was about time she would have given up and just faint to stop the pain. However, she had something. Something very important. Although she may be wrong, her feet had already started moving, unstoppable and fast.

"It's a place where I always hide."

The echoes became more distinct, persistent to the point where she could feel the back of her head whirl. She was filled with confusion but she couldn't stop running.

What was it? A memory? A premonition? A side effects from time travelling? Am I going nuts?

Whatever the answer maybe, there's nothing she wishes the most but to let Prince answer those questions. And she hopes he knew how to answer them.