I Can’t Love You

Three

I woke up the next morning with a slight hangover. I sat up and took the pills sitting on my nightstand. I stood up to get ready for the day when I looked over and saw that my night light was on. I know I didn’t turn it on so it must’ve been Andrew. I picked up my phone and saw a message from him. ‘Goodnight. Hope you don’t have too bad a hangover tomorrow.’ I smiled as I read the message. I thought for a second. He’s never messaged me before, why now? I typed a message back. ‘Thanks for taking me home.’ I grabbed some clothes and went to my bathroom to take a shower. I took a long shower to wash off the booze smell. I got out, got dressed, did my hair, and brushed my teeth. I walked out of my bathroom and my brother was standing right behind the door in my room. “Oh dammit Ollie!” I jumped. “How was your night?” I was so glad I put my sweatshirt on because I instantly reached for the bruise on my arm. “It was good. Just hung out with Nic.” I walked past him to my bed and sat down. “How about you? Where’d you go after the game?” I knew he wouldn’t tell me he was with some girl. “Andy and I hung at his place.” I chuckled to myself knowing he was lying. He sat down on my bed next to me. I looked over at him. He stared at me for a second. “What?” He eyed me again. “Are you okay?” I wanted to reach for my bruise again but I knew he’d notice if I did. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just a little tired.” A thought popped into my head. “I thought you were staying at Andrews house all weekend?” He flinched but quickly pulled himself back together.

“I uh wasn’t feeling great so I came back home. What’re you doing home? You’re supposed to be at Nicoles.” He looked at me suspiciously. “I got a bad headache.” He knows I get migraines sometimes so he believed me. “Did you take your meds?” I groaned. “No, I forgot.” I finally realized that I didn’t take my meds last night before I drank so now my headache’s gonna be a lot worse. “s**t Liv.” He ran downstairs. Within a minute or two he was back. He came back in with a bottle of water and my pill bottle. He pulled out my pills and watched me take them. Ollie has always taken care of me. Mom’s always at work and our dad..he’s a terrible person, we don’t ever see him. Once, when I was eight and Ollie was nine, I got a really bad fever and he couldn’t get ahold of mom at work. He carried me all the way to Andrews house and got his mom to take us to the hospital. They told mom when she finally got there that if Ollie hadn’t taken such good care of me, I could’ve died. Ever since then, he’s always made sure I was taken care of. I put my head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Ollie.” I almost started to cry. “For what?” A tear fell from my eye. “For being a burden.” He pulled away to look at me but still had his arm on my shoulder.

“You are not a burden. Why would you think that?” I couldn’t stop the tears from falling down my cheeks. “You’ve always had to take care of me. I wish I could just be a normal sister.” He took a deep breath. “Liv, you are not a burden, not even a little bit. You’re my little sister and I will do whatever it takes to make sure you’re okay and happy.” I wiped my tears away. “But you shouldn’t have to. You should be able to live your own life without always having to worry about whether I’ve taken my medicine or that I made it home. If I was normal-“ He completely pulled away from me. “Stop. You are normal. So what if I have to check if you’ve taken your meds? Liv, I will always check to make sure you’re okay. I’m your brother, it’s my job.” He smiled at me and I forced a slight smile back. “Do you blame me because you didn’t get to have a normal childhood?” I lowered my head as I asked the question. He sat back down on the bed. “I don’t blame you for anything. My childhood wasn’t normal but it was good. I literally had a built-in best friend.” We both laughed. “Come on, let’s go get something to eat.” We both got up off the bed. We heard a knock at the door.

“I gotta wash my face, can you get that.” He nodded. “Yeah, I’ll be right back.” I smiled at him. He went downstairs and I put my shoes on before going into my bathroom to wash my face. Crying had made my eyes all puffy. I took my sweatshirt off so I wouldn’t get any water on it. I put my face cream on and was washing it off when I heard two sets of footprints coming up the steps. “Liv?” I wiped my mouth. “Bathroom.” I was drying my face and the footsteps stopped in the doorway. “What the hell!” I stood straight up and saw Andrew and Ollie standing in the doorway staring at me. “What?” Ollie quickly walked over to me and gently grabbed my arm right under the bruise. “What the hell is this?” I looked down at my arm then back at Ollie. I caught a glance at Andrew's face and he looked horrified. I pulled my arm away and put my sweatshirt back on as fast as I could. “It’s nothing.” I walked past Ollie and stopped for a quick second to look up at Andrew. I walked past him but Ollie followed me. “It’s not nothing, who did that? Was it Nicole? I swear if she-“ I swiftly turned back to face him. “It wasn’t Nicole, just leave it alone.”

“No, hell no. Who did that to you, Olivia?” He was raising his voice and I flinched. I hate yelling and fighting. Andrew stepped in between us seeing the fear in my face. “Okay, let’s calm down a little, yeah?” Ollie took a deep breath. I turned around and walked quickly down the stairs and out the front door. I knew Ollie would follow me. “Liv, I’m sorry.” I took a deep breath and turned around to face him. “I shouldn’t have raised my voice like that.” I could feel my eyes starting to water but I pushed my sadness away. “It’s okay.” He stepped closer to me and my first instinct was to step back. I could tell it hurt him thinking I was afraid of him. “I just want to know who hurt you.” I looked over at Andrew standing behind him. He shook his head telling me not to tell Ollie. I bowed my head. “Ollie, I’m okay.” He looked around. “I just-“ He paused, looking confused. “Where’s your car?” I looked at the spot in the driveway where my car usually sat. I looked back towards Ollie but my gaze fell on Andrew. He looked just as worried as I did. “Um..still at Nic’s.” He looked at me with a mix of confusion and anger. “How’d you get home?” I cleared my throat nervously. “A friend dropped me off. I couldn’t drive with the migraine.” It was half true. I mean the migraine thing wasn’t but the rest was. “Who’s the friend?”