I Can’t Love You

Seven

I pretty much slept most of sunday away. When I wasn’t sleeping I was reading. I barely came out of my room. But, sadly, every good thing ends eventually. Mine ended when it came time for bed. I knew I’d have to go to school tomorrow and I really don’t want to. Don’t get me wrong, I love school, but I hate the people at my school. Most of the school is filled with drama and I despise drama. I tried to sleep but all I could think about was Andrew and our near kiss. What is wrong with me? He’s my brothers best friend. He’s never been nice to me, he’s never been anything to me. I groaned. I put my pillow over my face and kind of screamed. I guess my brother heard me because a second later, he was knocking on my door. I didn’t even pull the pilllow off my face when he walked in and sat on my bed. Be pulled the pillow off my face. “What’s going on, Liv?” I pushed the loose pieces of hair out of my face. “Nothing.” He squinted at me trying to read my face. “Come on. You know you wanna tell me Livy.” I groaned again. “Not Livy.” Livy was a nickname that Ollie gave me when we were younger. I could barely say Oliver so I started calling him Ollie. To get back at me, he started calling me Livy.

He patted my arm. “Come on, tell me what’s going on.” I knew I couldn’t tell him everything but I did want to talk to him about my situation. “There’s this guy that I like and I think something might have happened but I haven’t talked to him about it.” He clenched his jaw. Ollie’s never liked me with any guy. I’ve only had two boyfriends in my life and Ollie scared them both away. “Listen, Liv, I’m not gonna like any guy you end up with.” I sighed. “But..” I looked up at him. “If he makes you happy, tell him how you feel. As long as he’s good to you, I’ll find a way to be okay with him.” I smiled at him but then frowned. “I can’t tell him how I feel.” He looked at me confused. “Why?” I couldn’t tell him the exact reason but I could get close. “He’s off limits. He’s close to one of my friends and she’d hate me if I went after him.” He looked at me curiously. “If she’s a real friend, you should talk to her. Maybe she’d be happy for you two.” I sighed. “It’s not gonna happen, Ollie. I just have to accept it.” He patted my arm gently. “Get some sleep, Liv.” I smiled at him. “Goodnight, Ollie.” He ruffled my hair a little. “Night Livy.” I groaned at him and he laughed. He walked out of my room and I turned over and went to sleep.

I woke up the next morning not ready for the day. I sighed as I got out of my comfy bed. I walked into my bathroom and took a shower. It didn’t take me long to get dressed. I threw on a sweatshirt and leggings. I dried my hair and put it in a messy bun. I finished getting ready and went to grab my keys when a thought popped into my head, My car is still at Nicole’s. I sighed and walked into Ollie’s room. He was getting ready for school. He always dressed decent for school, I never understood why. “What’s up?” He had the biggest smile on his face. “My car’s still at Nic’s. Can you drop me by there on the way to school?” His smile fell. “I can’t. Andy’s coming to pick me up.” I cleared my throat. “Oh.” He smiled again but softer this time. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind dropping you off on our way.” I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. “Okay.” Was all I could say then I walked out. Only a few minutes later, Andrew showed up. I guess he thought I was gone because, when he came inside, he stopped in the hallway with a stunned look on his face. We just looked at each other for a few seconds before Ollie came out of his room. “Hey, can we drop Liv off at Nicole’s before school?” Andrew just nodded.

We got in the car and Andrew looked at me in the rear view mirror. I felt heat rush to my cheeks just by him looking at me. I looked away from him. I was so nervous. My leg was shaking and I kept picking at my nails. It didn’t take long for us to get to Nicole’s house. Her car was still parked in her driveway. I got out of the car and I felt Andrews eyes on me the whole way to my car. I turned around just in time to see them pulling out of the driveway. I looked at Andrews face and all I saw was sadness. I couldn’t figure out why he was so upset. I pushed away the thoughts of Andrew and went to my car. I hadn’t talked to Nicole since the night of the party. Mostly because I knew I’d tell her about me and Andrew but also because I was mad at her for leaving me there. I wanted to just get in my car and leave but Nicole walked out of her house right as I was about to get in my car. She saw me and gasped. “Liv!” She ran to me and hugged me. “Where’ve you been? I’ve been calling and texting you.” I didn’t hug her back and she noticed. She let me go and sighed. “You’re mad at me.” I chuckled sarcastically and looked away from her.

“Of course I’m mad, Nicole. You left me at a party that I didn’t even want to be at! I was drunk and groped by some douche and you left!” She frowned and I could see tears forming in the corners of her eyes. “I’m sorry, Liv, I’m so sorry. I thought you’d found a ride home, I couldn’t find you.” She lowered her head. “I’m so sorry.” I couldn’t stay mad at her, I never could. I sighed. “It’s okay, Nic. I get it.” She looked up at me and half smiled. “You forgive me?” I rolled my eyes playfully. “Of course I do.” She chuckled and hugged me. I chuckled too. “So, you wanna ride to school together?” I chuckled again. “You mean I drive to school while you hitch a ride?” She laughed and nodded. “Yeah.” I smiled. We got in the car and I drove to school.