Always Into You

Hello? Yellow brick road - Chapter 8

Tanya's POV

The moment Christopher disappeared into the crowd, something inside me cracked.

I barely heard Maico’s voice as he asked what was wrong. The music, the people, the heat of the warehouse it all faded.

All I could see was that night.

The soft glow of the ballroom lights. The way Christopher’s hand had found mine so effortlessly and how christopher looked into my eyes like a shallow waters. The way we moved together, like we had been doing it for eternity.

And then Ambessa’s voice, sharp as a knife as always. The humiliation. The shame. The trauma.

The sound of my entire world is crashing down.

I didn’t remember how I got home that night. I just knew that by the time I did, I was already breaking apart.

The next few days were a blur.

Joanna came home to find me curled up on the couch, my pillow is wet because of the river flowing tears, half-empty bottle of bourbon on the coffee table, my eyes red and swollen. my lips are dried

“Oh, no,” she speaks, setting her keys down. “Not this. Tanya please”

I groaned, pulling the blanket over my head. “Go away.”

She ripped it off me. “Not a chance T. What the hell happened?”

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t answer. How was I supposed to explain that seeing Christopher had shattered and destroyed the fragile sense of peace I’d started to build?

That all it took was one look, one stupid smile, one stupid smile! To remind me of everything I had lost, her mother's doing?

Joanna’s expression softened as she sat next to me. “Tanya…”

I swallowed hard. “I thought I was okay i thought I was going to be fine.”

Joanna sighed. “You will be. But drowning in alcohol and misery isn’t gonna get you there tanya every single God forsaken day you were drinking.”

“Yeah, and look how that turned out.”

I shot her a stare, but she just grabbed the bourbon bottle and walked off with it. “Get up. Shower. Eat something that isn’t whiskey and bourbon.”

I stayed on the couch.

By the fourth day, I was numb, I didn't feel anything.

I barely left my room. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Christopher. I saw the way we danced, how, for a moment, it felt like nothing else existed.

Then I saw Ambessa’s face. Her cold, calculating look as she tore me down in front of everyone.

And suddenly, it wasn’t just about Christopher. It was about all of it.

All the years I had spent trying to be enough and good.

For Blaze.

For Ambessa.

For myself.

When Maico showed up at my door a week later, I almost didn’t respond.

But he was consistent, knocking like he wasn’t going to stop until I face him.

When I finally opened it, he leaned against the frame, hands in his jacket pockets, looking at me with an unexplained expression.

I probably looked awful hair a mess, oversized hoodie, eyes still swollen from crying.

His look pinch behind me, taking in the empty bottles on the table. Then back to me.

“Okay,” he said slowly. “I think I’ve seen this movie before. Are you at the part where you dramatically push everyone away, or are we still in the self-destructive montage?”

I scowled. “Go to hell.”

He smirked. “Cool, I’ll grab my jacket.” Then, more seriously, “I didn’t mean to screw you up, Tanya. I just thought…”

He hesitated. “I thought you needed to be reminded that life still exists outside of all this outside thame thoughts with blaze.

Something inside me exploded. Because I knew he was right he was good.

But it didn’t matter.

Not when I still felt like I was drowning.

So I did the only thing I knew how to do.

I shut the door in Maico’s face and just stood there, staring at the back of the heavy door of Joanna like it might collapse under the weight of everything I was feeling.

Then, I turned, walked straight to the couch, and grabbed the bottle Joanna had missed.

Nothing was enough.

I lost track of time after that. Days blurred into nights, and nights stretched into something else entirely. I barely ate, barely slept. When I did sleep, I dreamed of that night of Christopher’s hands on my waist, the way his voice had sounded when he laughed, the moment we locked eyes and something in me shifted.

Then, always, Ambessa.

Her sharp, disgusted voice cutting through everything.

Tanya, this is not good

Tanya, you’re embarrassing yourself.

Tanya, you disappointed me again

Tanya, what is this mess

Tanya, you’re fired.

The words looped in my head, over and over, until I felt like I might go insane and foolish.

I stopped answering Joanna’s calls when she is in her work. I ignored Maico when he knocked again. I ignored everything.

I didn’t leave the apartment.

I didn’t move.

I just drank.

And cried.

And tried to forget that I had ever danced at all.

What a miserable life I've got, i never dreamed this i wish my sister don't see any of this.