What's in is Despair

Chapter 13

I walked into school with Gee, who was a nervous mess.

“Everyone's staring at me,” he whispered. “They know what I did.”

He pulled the sleeve of his hoodie down farther and I wrapped an arm around him.

“Nobody knows, beautiful,” I whispered.

“Y-yes they do,” he whimpered. “They all hate me.”

I stopped, pulling him into an empty bathroom.

“Baby, nobody hates you,” I denied. “You're beautiful and amazing. You're so sweet and funny. You're perfect, beautiful.”

I kissed his forehead and he looked up at me.

“But what if I mess up?” He asked, talking about the speech we had to do.

“You'll do just fine, baby,” i reassured. “I'm right here with you. Brendon will be there too and Patrick. And then afterwards maybe we can ditch and go to the arcade again.”

He nodded his head, holding onto my hand as we walked out towards English. We sat down in our seats in the back, next to Brendon who was holding a coffee cup.

“Hey, Gee,” Brendon said, “The coffee shop I went to was giving out free cookies, I grabbed one for you.”

He reached into his backpack and pulled out a cookie wrapped in napkins. Gee took it, a small blush on his cheeks.

“Th-thank you,” he said.

I smiled as Gee unwrapped the cookie and started taking small bites. The bell rang and Miss B walked in, just as happy as ever. She wore a dress with pink, yellow, brown, and blue squares with yellow tights, maroon shoes, and a blue cardigan. It was crazy but somehow worked for her.

“Alright, does anyone wanna volunteer to go first?” Miss B asked.

Patrick raised his hand and Brendon groaned.

“That's not what you do, Pat, you never volunteer to go first,” he complained.

“Alright, Brendon and Patrick are going first,” Miss B said.

“Dude, what the f**k?” Brendon groaned.

“We can just get it over with,” Patrick said.

The two went up to the front and I wrapped an arm around Gee’s shoulders, which were shaking slightly with nerves.

“You're gonna do fine,” I whispered.

A few more presentations went on and Gee was still just as anxious. I kissed the side of his head, kissing his cheek after that.

“Frank, please stop kissing Gee and focus,” Miss B said.

“Can't help it he's so pretty,” I replied.

“Well, that may be true but we can't all kiss him,” Miss B said. “Focus.”

I smiled, looking up at the people speaking. Soon enough it was our turn and we walked up. Gee held his notecards in his hands, looking over the full class of kids.

“Well, now we're talking about Holden,” I said. “He ran away from his school, Pencey Prep, and suffered from depression and stuff.”

Honestly, this was such a shitty thing. I wasn't really focusing on it when I was writing it, I was focusing on Gee.

“He goes to New York where he just gets a hotel,” I said. “And then, like, he goes out to bars and things like that.”

God, this was so shitty.

“And he's just not doing so well,” I continued. “You know, he's depressed and suicidal.”

“H-He always does bad stuff,” Gee said and I gave him a reassured smile. “H-Holden always thinks of how b-boys like to do crumby stuff to girls f-faces.”

There was some whispering in the back along with some snickering. Gee looked down in discouragement.

“And he goes on to get a prostitute, only to be punched by the elevator guy,” I said.

“H-he has, like, hallucinations and that, p-pretending he's in war with Jane,” Gee said.

“I can't hear him,” I heard someone whisper.

Gee’s lips quivered as he looked down. He snapped the rubber bracelet against his wrist and I scowled.

“Maybe if you'd shut your f*****g mouth you'd hear how great he's doing,” I spat.

I patted Gee’s back, holding onto his shaking hand.

“Go on,” Miss B said.

“And he is just not doing so good mentally,” I said. “He went around the whole museum when he was gonna meet up with Phoebe just erasing ‘f**k you’ off the walls. He believes in protecting the innocence of children, he doesn't even thinks it's ever at all possible for a child to write ‘f**k you’ on the wall.”

“A-and he--” Gee cut himself off, looking at all the people staring at him nervously.

“He's just really bad,” I said for him. “Especially with his teacher who was all creepy touching him while he was asleep. He tried to run away. Holden just isn't well, he's mentally ill and is so seemingly worried about protecting the innocence of the children.”

We finished up the small speech, going back to our seats.

“Good boy,” I whispered, giving him a soft kiss.

I held his hand, rubbing his wrist gently. I frowned at the red line on his pale skin, feeling an overwhelming amount of sadness wash over me.

“Let's skip and go to the arcade,” I said to Brendon.

“Dude, that sounds perfect,” he agreed. “I'm so f*****g tired.”

“If I recall, Frank, you're the one who said ‘Maybe if you'd shut your f*****g mouth you'd hear how great he's doing’,” Miss B reminded me. “Please hush.”

I smiled, still rubbing Gee’s wrist gently. Class finally ended and we met up with Jamia, Pete, and Patrick. We went out to Brendon’s car, but there weren't enough seats. Gee and I took my car together, but he still seemed upset over the speech.

“Wanna stop by the café and you can get another banana bread?” I asked.

“B-but were supposed to be meeting them,” he said.

“Don't worry, they won't miss us,” I reassured.

I pulled up to the café and got out. He stayed in the car as I ran inside, grabbing some banana bread for him. I paid, going back out to the car. Gee took it gratefully and munched on it as we drove.

“Good, baby?” I asked.

He nodded his head, holding it out to me. I took a bite and smiled.

“Amazing,” I said.

He held onto my hand and used the other one to hold his treat. We got to the arcade and found the others already sitting in the corner booth.

“We ordered a pizza,” Brendon said as we sat down.

I nodded and Gee finished up the banana bread.

“So, Gee, Space Invaders?” Pete asked, holding up a handful of quarters.

Gee’s eyes lit up as he nodded. Pete smiled, walking with him to the machine. I watched him play with Pete, a small smile on my face.

“Is Gee okay?” Jamia asked. “He seems more sad than usual. Kind of like when he first moved here.”

“Yeah, he's a bit like Holden at the moment,” I said.

“Oh, poor baby,” Jamia muttered. “How come?”

“It's a long story,” I said.

I looked over at Gee, smiling as he mashed the buttons. I bit my lip, wishing better for him. I want to make everything better for him.

“Anyways, anything new with you guys?” I asked as I turned and looked at them.

“I'm going to Florida this summer to visit my grandparents,” Patrick said.

“But I thought you were going to Pete’s uncle's place with him over the summer?” Brendon asked.

“I can't,” Patrick muttered sadly. “I was really excited too, it would've been a whole two and a half months alone with Pete at a lake house.”

I raised my eyebrows. “You like Pete?”

“Yeah, you've been spending all your time with Gee you've been behind on all this,” Brendon said.

“To catch you up, Patrick is head over heels for Pete and Pete hasn't noticed,” Jamia told me.

“Oh, geez, sorry Pat,” I apologized.

I did feel a little guilty that I hadn't even been paying attention to him.

“Oh, it's cool,” he brushed off. “However, im curious about what's going to happen with you and Gee since you're leaving in like two weeks.”

“I'm sticking around until August,” I said.

“Really? Awe, man, that's great,” Brendon said.

“Yeah, I'm really glad,” I said. “I love Gee a lot.”

I looked over and saw Pete complaining about something.

“You know, Pat, Pete is a great guy,” I said.

“Yeah, I know,” he said, a smile on his face as he watched him.

Brendon went up to get the pizza and I watched Gee. He was wearing a hoodie and jeans with old converse but f**k it if he didn't look beautiful. To me, he was sexy in anything. I could feel my heart beating faster just from looking at him. f**k, I've fallen so hard.

“You know, there was a boy in my science who's only actually been to class like four times since he's moved here,” Jamia said. “His name’s Michael Way, relation to Gee?”

“That's Gee’s younger brother, Mikey,” I said. “He's only actually been to class four times?”

“And of those four, three of those times he was high,” Jamia said with a snort.

I rolled my eyes. “God, he's such an ass.”

“You've met him?” Jamia asked.

“Yeah, he's so f*****g rude,” I said. “Especially to Gee, he basically just pushes him around and makes fun of him. God, I used to want a sibling growing up but after meeting him I think I've changed my mind. A royal pain in my ass.”

“Awe, poor Gee,” Jamia muttered. “But Gee is so nice.”

“God, don't I know it,” I agreed. “Too nice for his own good.”

Brendon came back with the pizza and the two Space Invader players followed soon after.

“How'd you do?” I asked.

“I-I got the new highscore,” Gee said, a slightly happy tone in his voice.

Just barely slightly.

“Oh really! That's great!” I cheered, giving him a kiss.

He blushed, taking a slice of pizza and putting it on his plate. I'm glad he's eating again, and he's seeming to feel a bit better. Just barely but at least it's a start. Maybe later we can just go back to my house and we can watch movies and eat junk food and cuddle and kiss. That's sounds like a perfect evening.