Seduced By Two Alpha Fires

4.

Chapter 4: Fate

I wake up to the sound of a faint knock on the door. The room is still dim, the only light coming from the soft glow of the early morning sun peeking through the curtains. Clara is still beside me, her body pressed up against mine. She’s asleep, her face peaceful, unaware of the storm brewing inside me.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. This is supposed to be the start of something new. This is supposed to be the moment I can finally breathe, finally feel like I’m moving forward. But all I feel is a weight in my chest, a constant pressure that won’t let up.

The knock comes again, louder this time, followed by the sound of Clara’s voice. “Ronan? Are you awake?”

I sigh, running a hand through my hair. My fingers feel numb as I push myself up from the bed. Clara stirs beside me, her eyes fluttering open as she stretches, her smile still so bright and full of hope. It makes my heart ache.

“I’ll be out in a minute,” I call to her, trying to sound normal, trying to pretend that nothing’s wrong.

Clara nods, though I can see the doubt in her eyes. She knows something’s not right. She just doesn’t know what. Not yet.

As I stand up, I feel the weight of the ring on my finger, a cold, unforgiving reminder of the choice I made. The choice I can’t take back. I look at it for a moment, then turn away, pushing down the knot in my stomach.

I walk over to the window and pull the curtains back, letting in the full light of the morning. The world outside is calm, peaceful. But I can’t shake the feeling that something’s wrong, something’s not right.

I hear Clara move behind me, her footsteps soft on the floor. She comes up to me and wraps her arms around my waist from behind, resting her head against my back. The warmth of her touch should comfort me, but it doesn’t. All I feel is the emptiness.

“I was thinking,” she says quietly, her voice full of hope. “Maybe we could go out today. Just the two of us. Have a quiet day together.”

I nod, even though I don’t feel like it. “That sounds nice.”

I don’t know why I agree. I don’t know why I say anything at all. Maybe I’m just trying to avoid the conversation that’s hanging over us, the one I know we can’t keep ignoring.

“I’m going to take a shower,” I tell her, turning to face her.

She smiles, nodding. “I’ll make breakfast.”

I give her a quick kiss on the cheek before walking toward the bathroom. As the door closes behind me, I lean against it for a moment, closing my eyes. I try to clear my mind, but all I see is Lyra’s face. Her eyes, filled with hurt and confusion. I feel sick.

I turn on the water, the steam quickly filling the small room. I step under the shower, letting the warm water hit my skin, trying to wash away the heaviness. But it doesn’t help. The guilt is still there. The weight is still there.

I see Lyra again, this time in my mind. Her eyes were pleading, asking me to stay, asking me to choose her. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it. And now, I have to live with the consequences.

I get out of the shower and dry off quickly, dressing in jeans and a shirt. I don’t look at myself in the mirror. I don’t want to see the man I’ve become. I don’t want to see the person who betrayed the woman I promised to love.

When I step back into the main room, Clara is already in the kitchen, humming softly as she prepares breakfast. The smell of eggs and toast fills the air, and for a moment, it almost feels normal.

But it’s not.

I sit down at the table, forcing a smile as Clara places a plate in front of me. She’s talking about the plans for the day, about how we could visit the lake or maybe take a walk through the woods. She’s still so full of optimism, so full of hope. And I don’t know how to tell her the truth.

I shove a forkful of eggs into my mouth, not really tasting them. I try to focus on her words, but my mind keeps drifting back to Lyra.

I have to stop thinking about her. I have to stop wishing for something that can never happen.

Clara catches me staring into space, her brow furrowing. “Ronan, are you okay?”

I snap out of it, blinking rapidly. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

But she doesn’t look convinced. She sits down across from me, her expression softening, concern replacing the cheerfulness in her voice.

“You’ve been distant all morning,” she says gently. “Is something on your mind? You know you can talk to me.”

I look at her, and for the first time since yesterday, I feel the weight of her love. I feel the responsibility I’ve placed on myself to make this work. But how can I when my heart is somewhere else?

“I’m just… tired,” I say, the lie slipping easily from my lips. “It’s nothing.”

Clara watches me for a moment longer, but then she nods, seeming to accept my explanation. She picks up her fork and takes a bite of her food, but I can see the worry still lingering in her eyes.

The silence between us stretches on, heavy and thick, like the calm before a storm. I can feel it. I can feel the tension building, the pressure mounting. Something’s about to break. I don’t know what, but I know it can’t stay like this.

After breakfast, Clara and I head out for the walk she suggested. The fresh air is a welcome relief, but even the beauty of the world around me can’t calm the storm inside me. We walk in silence for a while, the only sounds being the crunch of leaves beneath our feet and the occasional chirp of birds in the trees.

Clara breaks the silence first. “Ronan, I know something’s bothering you. Please talk to me.”

I stop walking, turning to face her. She’s standing a few feet away, looking at me with those eyes, those eyes full of concern. And I can’t do it anymore. I can’t keep pretending that everything’s fine.

“I can’t,” I say, my voice rough. “I can’t keep pretending that I’m happy with this.”

Her eyes widen, and for a moment, I think I see hurt flash across her face. But it’s gone as quickly as it came, replaced by confusion.

“What do you mean?” she asks, taking a step closer. “You’re my husband, Ronan. We’re supposed to be happy.”

I feel the words twisting in my throat, choking me. “I’m not happy. I made a mistake.”

Clara’s face pales, and she takes a step back. “A mistake?”

I nod, my chest tightening. “I shouldn’t have done this. I shouldn’t have married you.”

Her eyes fill with tears, and for a moment, I see the woman I promised to love and protect, the woman who trusted me with her heart. And I feel like the biggest fool in the world.

“Then why did you?” she whispers, her voice trembling.

“I don’t know,” I admit, my voice cracking. “I thought I could move on. I thought I could let go, but I can’t. I can’t let go of her.”

Her eyes flash with anger, then hurt, and she turns away, wrapping her arms around herself. I reach out to her, but she pulls away.

“I never stood a chance, did I?” she says, her voice low and bitter. “You’ve always loved her. Always.”

I feel the weight of her words, the truth of them. I can’t deny it. I’ve always loved Lyra. And I always will.

“Clara, please—” I start, but she cuts me off.

“No, Ronan. You’ve made your choice,” she says, her voice cold. “And I have to accept that. But don’t expect me to forget what you’ve done.”

She walks away, leaving me standing in the middle of the path, alone.

The wind picks up, rustling the trees around me, and for a moment, I feel like I’m drowning in it all. The guilt, the regret, the confusion—it’s too much to bear. And I don’t know what to do.

I stand there for what feels like an eternity, my chest heaving with each breath. And in the distance, I see her. Lyra. Standing by the lake, her back to me, her figure silhouetted against the water.

I don’t move. I can’t move.