Only Yours.

4

4

Food was plentiful, Whisper wouldn’t have expected anything less. By the time the meal was over, night was beginning to descend outside. The long window at the front of the building, by the entrance, was lit from the outside by the lanterns on the enclosed terrace at the bottom of the stairs. The external space was used by the smokers.

At least, the Dohertys went out the front. Every once in a while, a posse of McDades used the same door the servers had emerged from. Any time the door opened, she expected a burst of light that never came. Whatever was back there, it was no kitchen. With the pillar in the way, she couldn’t see much, but couldn’t say she really cared.

Cousin Miles had left his post to scurry up to the top of the table where he huddled with her father and his.

Mariana bounced onto his seat to get closer. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?” her friend asked.

“I only found out this week,” Whisper answered.

Paula leaned over Caelan who was typing into his phone and didn’t seem to mind the skinny woman disregarding him. “You should’ve called us.”

“What would you have said?” Whisper asked, realistic about her friends’ capabilities and limits.

“We’d have said you don’t love him,” Mariana said. “How can you marry a man you don’t love?”

“You don’t understand,” Whisper said, tipping the last mouthful of champagne from the nearest bottle into her glass.

“We do understand,” Mariana said. “How can you say we don’t?”

“You think love matters,” Whisper said. “That’s how I know you don’t understand.”

“He’s attractive,” Paula said, looking over at the McDade table, something Whisper had been trying to avoid since finding the groom leering at her. Caelan let his phone drop to the table. The positive words probably perturbed him. “Though I think I’d be too scared to… you know.”

“You’re too scared of your own shadow,” Mariana said, slipping a hand under Whisper’s to link their fingers. “You know what the Wild One’s like with guys.”

“Yeah, no worse than you,” Whisper said, responding to her friend’s use of her nickname. “Speaking of which, we should go out after this.”

“Uh, you’re not allowed to go out,” Caelan said.

Whisper scoffed and reached over to take his whiskey. “Says who? It’s Friday night. We always go out on a Friday.”

“Yeah, and usually don’t get home until Sunday… sometimes Monday morning,” Mariana said, dropping her head onto her shoulder.

Whisper turned to kiss her friend’s hair. Mariana was as wild as her when it came to their nights out. Paula was more subdued, that’s what she liked to think anyway. Usually after a few drinks, Paula was almost more eager than them to party.

“Yeah, well, Cyrus said you’re following Razer’s rules now,” Caelan said.

“Razer?” Paula asked. “Who’s… who’s Razer?”

“That’s what they call Zaiden McDade,” Caelan said, blinking at the three women as they turned their focus to him and drew in closer. “Do you have any idea who he is?”

“He’s Whisper’s husband,” Mariana said, making Whisper smile. “What do you mean? Who is he?”

Whisper knew of his reputation for being vicious; details weren’t that important to her.

“Burl McDade is the head of the family,” Caelan said, looking over them to nod at the older man standing behind Zaiden’s seat. The patriarch wasn’t alone, a group that included his sons clustered around him, hanging on his every word. “He took power from his own father by slowly poisoning the man. Didn’t even have the decency to do it quick; that man’s death was torturous.”

“That’s horrible,” Paula said, sickness in her expression.

Caelan scoffed. “That’s nothing to what he did to his wife. Killed her while he was f*****g her. Apparently, he did it ‘cause she asked him to give up his favorite mistress. The mistress had threatened his wife’s life, but that didn’t matter to him. He killed her for questioning him.”

“While he was…” Mariana trailed off and pulled herself closer to Whisper. “How did he kill her?”

“Did he strangle her? Smother her?” Paula asked.

The woman had an uncanny ability to appear both queasy and enthralled at the same time. Whisper had recognized Paula’s ability to do it during the numerous times she recounted the tales of her brothers’ exploits.

Making eye contact with each of them, Caelan shook his head. “Gouged out her eyes.”

A disgusted chorus of “ew” went around their group, which probably drew the attention of others. The women were too intrigued to care.

“That doesn’t kill you though,” Mariana said. “Does it? You can live without your eyes.”

“Does when you f**k the empty socket that’s left.”

Mariana and Paula made another sound of disgust.

Whisper sank back in her seat, away from the huddle. “That’s not true.”

“It’s true,” Caelan said, twisting toward her and nodding fast. “I swear on my mother’s f*****g life.”

“Your mother’s dead, Caelan,” she said, tipping the rest of his whiskey into her mouth. “There’s no way Burl killed his wife like that. Even if he did, it wasn’t for asking a question. The woman gave him four sons; they must have been together a long time.”

“Ten, fifteen years, I think, maybe,” Caelan said in what was obviously a blind guess. “This was just after Doran was born… he’s the youngest…” Turning around, he scanned the table opposite and nodded to the group Burl was commanding. “The one wearing the red tie. That’s Doran, he’s the one always f*****g up. The Byrnes best friend and the one we’re most worried about.”

That made her sit to attention. “Byrnes friend?”

Any notion that the McDades were friendly with the Byrnes turned her stomach.

“Not really, just… when he f***s up, it benefits them,” Caelan said. “See the problem with the McDades, they’re known for being short tempered. Previous generations couldn’t keep their guys out of prison… You know how they say serial killers are usually caught for something stupid? A broken taillight, that kind of thing.” The women nodded. “McDades can run an operation probably better than any other family. They’ve got their network, women, drugs, all of it, they’re in it, and they’ve got the guys to hide the money trails… But you piss off a McDade and he’ll put a bullet in your head, witnesses be damned.”

“Idiots,” Mariana murmured. “Who does something like that?”

“They are idiots,” Caelan said. “Some guys slights them, insults them, even in the tiniest way, and they blow a gasket… Doran’s done a couple of short stretches in prison… and everyone knows about Score McDade. Only one who can manage to hold it together is Razer… Zaid.”

Mariana stroked her arm. “Least you’ve got the calm one.”

Caelan snorted. “That’s not what I said. No f*****g way. He doesn’t murder guys ‘cause he enjoys seeing them in pain. Word is the guy carries a straight razor on him at all times. He doesn’t care about the insults; he isn’t easily offended like that people say. But if his father sets him on someone, he’ll track a mark down and literally carve pieces off the guy… It’s sick. I’ve seen some of his skinning work, it would make you puke.”

A guy who could be cool and methodical in his torture; that was something. A secret corner of Whisper heard Caelan’s words as a challenge. She’d married the calm McDade, though that was a relative term given what Caelan was saying. But it sort of made her want to see how easy it would be to bring out his inner McDade.

“I don’t know about Score McDade,” Paula said. “Which one is he?”

Sitting up straighter, her friend bobbed left and right, trying to seek him out. “You won’t see him over there. Score did time in Texas for murder.”

“Did? Past tense?”

Caelan’s nod was solemn; Whisper called bullshit. “The vic wasn’t even dead, Biz set him up.”

“Biz is Parker McDade,” Mariana said, leaning against Paula. “Burl’s number one son. His second in command.”

“He set his own brother up for murder?”

“Who cares?” Mariana asked. “Zaiden is the one Whisper has to live with.”

“Zaid,” Caelan said. “Everyone around him calls him that… calling him Razer, unless you’re part of their inner circle, usually leads to bloodshed.”

“Is he violent to women?” Paula asked, the sweetheart really sounded concerned.

“They all are,” Caelan asked.

“I heard he was a psycho.”

Caelan was nodding. “He does most of the family dirty work, ‘specially now Score’s out the picture,” he said and was more discreet about his next nod across the room. “The guy with the pocket square, that’s Parker McDade, Biz, the oldest of the brothers. He’s married to Nicole, the only woman at their table. He’s all business.”

“Who’s the guy with him?” Whisper asked.

“With who?” Caelan asked, then seemed to notice her eyes were narrowed on the man standing next to Zaid. “Oh, that’s Bosco… I don’t know his story other than… well… like you see, he sticks to Razer like glue.”

“I can’t believe they call him Razor,” Paula said on an exaggerated shiver. “I get it’s ‘cause he carries a razor, but—”

“No, that’s not why,” Caelan said. “It’s not with an O, it’s with an E. When he was a kid, after his mom died, he set fire to everything, literally everything. He set fire to his family members’ homes, his schools, cars, whatever. He turned into this crazy fire razer.”

“Does he still do that?” Mariana asked. “Damn, that’s scary…”

Caelan shrugged. “Don’t know. Haven’t heard about anything going up in smoke for a while, but… maybe. I think if he has to, he’ll do whatever his father says.”

“Sure ‘cause gouging out his mother’s eyes probably really showed him what his father was capable of,” Mariana said, her lip curling to a sneer. “That’s disgusting.”

“You know they probably have stories about us too,” Whisper said, glancing at Caelan, though her sentiment was meant for Mariana and Paula as well.

They weren’t from crime families. Well, Paula wasn’t. Not exactly. Her father was a lawyer with questionable ties. Mariana’s uncle did work for the Dohertys.

“None of us ever gouged out a woman’s eyes while we were f*****g her,” Caelan said.

“Says you,” Whisper said. “I don’t know what you men do while you’re in bed with women. Don’t forget two thirds of our family just died, Cae. I don’t know about all of them, but I know Keegan had a sadistic streak, that’s for goddamn sure.”

“Not that sick.”

Leaning back, she tried to seek out a clock… or some liquor. “What time is it?” Whisper asked.

“Seven thirty, maybe eight,” Caelan said. “Why?”

Whisper took Mariana’s hand, then sought out Paula’s over Caelan. “We can go get ready at your place, Paula. Be at Scooby’s by nine, maybe ten.”

Paula was nodding. Mariana pushed out her chair, ready to go.

Caelan grabbed Whisper’s arm before she could stand. “You can’t leave. It’s not allowed. Did Razer say you could go?”

“Razer hasn’t said a damn word to me,” Whisper said. “If he hasn’t given me any instructions, how can I be expected to follow them? I’m not breaking any rules.”

“Why do you want to leave?” Caelan asked, probably against revealing his concern. It was obvious, so she hoped he didn’t think he was doing a good job of hiding his worry. It was a shame really. Her cousin had been charged with controlling her, which wasn’t an easy feat. “Why not just stay and keep the peace?”

“How many reasons do you need? I don’t have any money or a drink,” she said. “There’s no music or dancing… This place is a dud.”

“You got that right,” Mariana said. “I say we hit the clubs hard tonight.”

“Agreed,” Whisper said, pulling her friends to their feet.

Caelan didn’t let her go, so he was forced to stand too. “Okay, hold on, how’s this,” he said, opening his arms in an attempt to block them against the table. “I’ll buy you all liquor… and there’s a jukebox in the corner. You can find something to dance to on there … right?”

The jukebox was on the wall beside the mysterious door used by staff and McDades. The dancefloor was on the McDades side of the room too, laid out in front of the still empty stage. In that dance space were a couple of groups of McDades. That family seemed to be against sitting at their table, whereas hers barely left their seats.

“I kinda want cake,” Paula said.

Whisper smiled. “You’re thinking we stop at The Creamery? See if Jimmy will feed us out the back door?”

Mariana squealed in delight and Paula laughed. “I like when he says we’re like lost little kittens.”

The Creamery was their favorite bakery in the city. While it would be closed at that time of day, they knew the owner. He was often there late preparing for the following day. Whenever they stopped by, he’d feed them no matter the time. Before or after, sometimes during, their night in their favorite club, which was just down the block from his premises.

“I think we should go to Santiago’s first,” Mariana said.

Paula laughed again, but it was Whisper who called their friend out. “You wanna f**k Santiago,” she said. “That’s why you want to go there.”

Paula kept laughing. Mariana whimpered. “You got to do it. He’s so hot… you’re married! You can’t keep him to yourself anymore.”

Holding up her hands, Whisper didn’t hide her smirk. “I never wanted to keep him all to myself… You know we’re allowed to share guys unless we specifically claim exclusive rights.”

“Which you’ve never done,” Paula said.

“Thank you,” Whisper said, presenting a flat hand to her friend. “Which I have never done. Thank God someone’s paying attention.”

Leaning in, Mariana teased. “Santiago only has eyes for you though… maybe someone should tell him he’s a free agent.”

“Oh, they all fall for her and you know it,” Paula said.

“It’s the danger,” Whisper said, knowing that Paula’s statement wasn’t even close to true. “See half the guys in the city are too afraid to f**k me because they think my father will gut them… The other half want me as a trophy on their wall.”

Pouting, Mariana hugged her arm and nuzzled in close. “And none of them see the true you, honey, do they?”

Whisper stroked Mariana’s hair. “No, they don’t. I’m so misunderstood.”

Paula leaned past Caelan, a look of mischief in her eyes. “You guys should do that show thing you do,” she whispered and actually covered her laugh with a hand.

Mariana lifted her head from Whisper’s shoulder. “At her wedding reception?” she asked before turning an expression of glee on her. “Want me to say congratulations properly, girlie?”

Sliding her arms around Mariana, Whisper’s eyes got heavy as she scooped her hands around her friend’s ass. “Think it’s only right, don’t you?”

The women were practiced at teasing a room like pros. Finding each other’s mouths, they wasted no time. Kissing one way and then the other, they pressed closer and let their tongues touch in the ecstasy of a kiss that never meant more than the moment.

In nightclubs, they danced together like they were lovers. They knew how to work a pole and were no strangers to the podiums. Paula encouraged all the misbehaving, but usually ruined the mood with her giggling.

Mariana slid her hands up and down Whisper’s back and into her hair, sampling her neck as Whisper’s hands drifted to her friend’s breasts. The move encouraged Mariana’s mouth lower; together they sank against the wall.

“What the hell is this?” Miles’ voice came from somewhere.

Whisper was more interested in bringing Mariana’s mouth back to hers than she was in her cousins.

“I… I don’t know,” Caelan stuttered. “They just started—”

“Well, stop them,” Miles said.

Mariana was yanked away. Without missing a beat, Whisper grabbed her friend and pulled her back to the kiss. Cupping her face and holding her close, she enjoyed the whimper of desire Mariana added for effect.

“It’s just good fun,” Paula said.

“He’s f*****g watching,” Miles hissed. “This f*****g s**t is exactly what Cyrus didn’t want. It’s f*****g bullshit.”

Pulling away from the kiss, Whisper licked her lips, making a show of trying to regain her senses. Mariana stroked her hair and nuzzled her neck.

“You gotta swear so much, Miles?” Whisper asked. “It’s distracting.”

Her fizzing cousin bounded closer. “Good. I’m f*****g glad. How you want your father to explain to your husband that he’s married to a dyke?”

“I don’t need anyone to explain anything to anyone,” Whisper said, turning her head to sample Mariana’s mouth again. “I’m a free spirit.”

Mariana’s lips trailed to her ear. “A hot spirit… Want to come back to mine?”

That would give them a good excuse to leave the reception to go get ready for the club.

“Paula, you wanna come f**k me and my girl? We’ll eat you first, be real gentle.”

“Mrs. McDade…”

It didn’t even occur to Whisper that anyone was talking to her until Caelan and Miles parted. Someone was standing just behind them… Bosco.

“Aww,” Mariana pouted. “Is he going to ruin our buzz?”

Whisper ran a hand through her hair and tipped up Mariana’s chin to kiss her again. “No, baby, don’t you worry about that. He just wants a better view. Isn’t that right, Mr. Bosco?”

“Happy someone’s told you who I am,” Bosco said. “Means I don’t have to explain who I’m speaking for when I tell you that it’s time to leave.”

“Time to…” Mariana made a sound of disappointment. Whisper straightened her friend up and pushed away from the wall. “I don’t want to leave, Mr. Bosco. The party’s just getting started… I’m sure your boss’s d**k can wait until after I satisfy my girl’s p***y… Hasn’t he ever heard the expression ‘ladies first’?”

“He has,” Bosco said, unruffled by her question. “But I’ve worked with him long enough to know that making him wait won’t lead to anything good for you… Mrs. McDade.”

A beating on her wedding night, was that what he was promising? What a welcome to the family. But she had to pick her battles. Whisper kissed Mariana and gave Paula a hug before opening her arms and letting them fall to her sides.

“Well, Mr. Bosco, what’s he got in store for me?”