My mate and my gift

Chapter ten: Matthew

Mira was avoiding me. And not just avoiding me, she was ignoring me as well. I had tried several times to knock on her door when I knew she was in there, but she never opened the door. I had even tried to get Roxy or Sascha to knock on the door for me, but they had refused. They had told me that this was a matter between Mira and I.

I was getting desperate. I knew that Roxy and Mira had made up, so why was Mira still avoiding me?

I had talked to Roxy after I saw them laughing together at dinner the other night, asking her if she had cleared up the misunderstanding that Mira might think that Roxy and I were still an item – which we never actually were in my eyes. Roxy and I had never kissed in public or held hands unless alcohol had been involved - and I had been too intoxicated to care. I had never had any desire to be more to Roxy than she was to me: a friend and a means for s****l release. And now she and I were just friends.

Roxy had told me that she had explained our situation to Mira, but as soon as I asked if she knew why Mira was still avoiding me, she had just shrugged like it was none of her business.

I was so determined to talk to her that I tried to catch her on her way to class or after she’d finished eating, but she kept running away. I was starting to feel like a stalker and many of my friends were starting to comment on my behavior. I still hadn’t told them about the situation. I didn’t want to risk them cornering Mira and ask her why she was ignoring her mate. I had no idea why she was acting the way she was, but I did not want to risk making it worse. It was not normal for a wolf to deny a mate, and it was taking its toll on me. I kept waking up in the middle of the night, dreaming that I somehow lost Mira. The most common dream was her rejecting me in front of the Goddess and the Goddess accepting Mira’s rejection.

The lack of sleep was affecting my appetite and my concentration. I spent a ridiculous amount of time in the gym, trying to sweat out my frustrations.

One afternoon I put in a request to go on an extra-security patrol, writing Mira’s name as my desired partner.

I placed the paper in the mailbox of the alpha residence, hoping this would give me a chance to talk to her without her being able to run away. It might not even work. The alphas might not even accept the request. But like I said, I was desperate.

I caught her scent when I headed back to the mansion. I stopped and tested the air, trying to figure out which direction the scent was coming from. I spotted her with another wolf, heading for the woods. I followed them until they shifted, and I realized they were going on patrol. I hanged my head. Maybe I could catch her when she got back.

The schedule of patrols was not available to everyone, but I could try and ask my father if he could bend the rules for me. He had done it before, but not without a good reason, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to let him know my situation. I didn’t trust him to stay out of this any more than I did my friends.

Hours later I was sitting at the dinner table. “Won’t you eat something? You look like crap” Colin said.

I had barely touched my steak, which was my favorite food in the world. I nodded and grabbed my fork, pushing a piece of meat around on the plate. “What has happened to you?” Colin leaned in and asked in a hushed tone. This wasn’t the first time he had asked me and every time I had come up with a new answer, each more unlikely than the last. Everyone knew that something was wrong, but so far everyone had accepted my explanation that it was the pressure of being groomed for the next beta. Everyone except for Colin. He wasn’t going to let it go. This was the third time today he asked me what was wrong.

I looked at him sideways, feeling slightly angry at him, for having such a perfect life with a mate and a pup on the way.

The concern on his face quickly turned my anger to defeat, and I could actually do with some advice. “I’ll tell you later” I said

A couple of hours later I was sitting with Colin and Julianne in their kitchen in their house, telling them everything that had happened so far between me and Mira.

When I was done, Julianne brought me a cup of tea and gave me a hug. I could feel her slightly protruding belly on my back. She was 4 months along now and I could just barely make out the shape of her baby bump. Julianne had welcomed me into their family without question, simply because I was like a brother to Colin and her warmth was very comforting right now. She was going to be a great mother.

Colin was furrowing his brows and making a face. I had made him promise not to approach Mira in any way about this matter. I just needed some advice on what to do. Mostly I just needed to talk to someone who wasn’t Roxy about this.

“Well, s**t!” Colin finally muttered. Julianne smacked him upside the head. She had banned swearing in their house in preparation for the coming addition to their family.

“Sorry” he mumbled, and Julianna sent him a glare before she went upstairs to bed.

Neither Colin nor Julianne had been able to offer much advice. They had never heard of anyone in this situation before, and they could only try to imagine what I must be going through. The only thing they had to say was that Mira must have her reasons and that I had to be patient – which was not my virtue.

As I was leaving their house, he apologized for not being able to help and sent me on my way with a look of pity on his face.

Back at the mansion, I found myself standing in front of Mira’s door. I leaned my head against it. She was in there, probably asleep. I let out a sigh and dragged myself to my own room, dropping into bed without even changing out of my clothes.

I closed my eyes and an image of Mira appeared in my mind. I tried to grab for her, but she laughed and dodged out of the way. She was smiling at me and beckoned me to follow her. I knew I could not give up on her.