My mate and my gift

Chapter eight: Matthew

Leave?! She told me to leave?! What the hell kind of game was she playing? Did she know I had been running double speed to get to her as soon as I could? I had never run that fast before in my life! Colin had called after me to slow down, but I hadn’t listened. I punched the bag hanging from a beam on the ceiling as hard as I could. One of my knuckles split open, but I didn’t care. I kept punching the bag. The gym was mostly empty except for a few other guys. Some of them shot me glances now and then, but none dared approach me. Luckily for them because I would probably punch them in the face if they did.

This was not how it was supposed to be! She was supposed to run into my arms and submit to me. I was her mate! She could deny it no less than I could.

So why did I leave? This question kept ringing in my head. I should have stayed, no matter how mad she would have gotten, I should have stayed.

And why did Roxy have to interrupt us? Mira had been helpless against me until that point. She had been responding to me like she was supposed to, and I was sure we would have completed the mating process. Heck, we would probably still be in bed right now. I was so pissed – at Roxy, at Mira, at myself.

I wanted to blame Roxy for what had happened, but the fact kept dawning on me; this wasn’t the first time Mira had rejected my advances. Not even after we found out we were mates. The first time I had told myself she was just surprised by the sudden change in her life, but now I was starting to think there was more to it.

The pain in my hands were getting worse and they kept slipping on the bloody punching bag. I stopped and looked at my hands. All my knuckles were skinless, and I licked them. The pain made me wince, but it was not enough to quell the anger in me. I got a wet towel and cleaned the blood off the bag before walking out of the gym. My knuckles were already starting to heal.

I got back to my room and washed my hands. I couldn’t keep track of my own thoughts. I tried to find an explanation for what was happening. I looked at myself in the mirror and took a step back, spreading my arms wide. Why didn’t she want me? It’s not like I wasn’t a catch. I was one of the biggest wolves in the pack, I was the fastest and I dared say I was pretty good-looking. Not to mention my heritage. I was the son of the beta, coming from a long line of strong beta wolves. Every first-born son had taken over the mantle of beta once his father could no longer. My own father had become beta when he turned 16, when his father fell ill, and I was being groomed to become the next beta of our new pack.

What was there for her not to like? The anger welled up in me again and I needed to let some of it out.

Moments later I was standing in front of Roxy’s room, hammering on the door, calling for her to open.

I knew Mira wasn’t in her room; her scent was too weak. Roxy on the other hand, I could smell from miles away. When she opened the door, her eyes were red from crying, and they went wide when she saw me. She tried to close the door, but I blocked it. Was she surprised to see me? It’s not like she didn’t know it was me on the other side of the door. On the other hand, I had never been mad at her before.

I forced my way into the room and slammed the door shut behind me.

“What do you want?!” she spat, clearly upset. Why was she upset? She wasn’t the one who had been rejected by her mate!

“Why?” I growled at her, and she flinched. “Why did you interrupt us?”

She looked away from me, shrugged and said, “I was supposed to get her for dance class. That’s all”

Her nonchalant tone made my blood boil again and I grabbed her shoulders, tempted to throw her across the room.

She whirled around and looked at me defiantly, tears filling her eyes. 

“You were supposed to be mine!” she whispered, although there was plenty of force behind her words.

I was taken aback by the extend of her possessiveness. I had always thought our relationship was based on a mutual understanding that we made each other look and feel good. I didn’t know she felt this way about me. Or maybe that had just been wishful thinking and I had been in denial for years.

“No I wasn’t” I said as gently as I could “I was always meant to be hers. That’s how these things work”

“Until two days ago, you were mine!” she said stubbornly, now sobbing and banging on my chest.

“Things change” I said softly, trying to make her understand.

“If Mira had never come to our pack, things wouldn’t have changed” She was clenching my shirt tightly.

She leaned her head into my shoulder and cried. I felt a pinch in my stomach. I had never seen her like this before. My intentions were never to hurt her, but a small voice inside me told me I should have known this would happen. I had been enabling her bad habits for years, letting her get away with everything, giving in to her selfish wishes, never trying to do what was actually right by her.

I wrapped an arm around her and stroked her hair gently, not knowing if this was the right thing to do.

“There is no way things can go back to how they were, is there?” she whispered in my shirt. I just shook my head in response. “Please…” she begged. “Could you take me to the bed? I really don’t want to be alone right now and I really need someone to hold me”

I knew it wasn’t fair to her, to keep giving in to her like this, but I told myself this would be the last time. I lifted her up and took her to the bed, gently putting her down and she pulled me down towards her. I laid down next to her and she reached her head up to kiss my lips. I pulled away. She no longer had the same effect on my body like she used to. Only one girl could calm the fire in my veins now, and I had to figure out a way to get her to be mine. Roxy looked at me, searching my face for any sign of desire. When she found none, she gave me a weak smile and nodded again. She curled up next to me and started to cry again.

An hour later Roxy was asleep, and I sat up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed.

I placed my head in my hands. What was I going to do? Roxy had been crying until she finally drifted off.

A soft knock on the door made me look up.

“Roxy?” said the sweetest voice I ever heard. Mira.

I looked behind me at Roxy, who was sound asleep in her bed. I knew how this would look. I started to panic, wondering if I could somehow get out without Mira knowing. Should I jump out the window? It wouldn’t kill me. I slowly got up and walked to the window. s**t! Below Roxy’s window was the glass-ceiling windows of the dining hall, I could even see people sitting at the tables. I turned around, staring at the door. Maybe she would go away when no one answered?

“Matthew?” Mira then called out. f**k! My heart was hammering in my chest and my palms got sweaty. What was I going to do?

“Open the door, Matthew. I know you’re in there” Mira said, as if reading my thoughts. There was no way I was going to open the door. There was no way that she wouldn’t misunderstand the situation. But then again, I tried to argue with myself, it’s not like things will be resolved like this. Maybe I could explain to her what had happened? But would she believe me? Hah! Fat chance. But I had to try.

I half-ran to the door and opened it, almost ripping it off its hinges. My heart dropped to my stomach. There was no one outside the door and I looked to my right just in time to see Mira’s door close.

I took a deep breath, walked out of the room, and knocked on her door. No answer. I tried again. Still nothing. I was standing there for a good 5 minutes before I gave up. She was never going to open the door for me.