E // Ezekiah’s Guide To Flirting
2215 Words
“Were you interrupting?” Ezekiah’s words echoed in my mind as he said it. I just had to say it.
“Yes,” I replied, “I did interrupt. I mean, you were making out with a girl and-”
Ezekiah interrupted me. “Yeah, this girl right here is my girlfriend.” He dipped down and whispered lowly. “Well, one of them.”
“UGH!” The girl pushed Ezekiah away from him and left.
“s**t, I said that aloud.” Ezekiah turned to go catch the girl. “Wait! Come back!”
“I’m not going to you fuckboy!” The girl turned, gave the finger, and then turned back, storming off at a faster pace.
“Wooooowww. So, that happened.” I replied, giving a bit of a smirk. “You seriously must be hated by your other girlfriends now. In fact, how will you tell them?”
Ezekiah laughed, turning to look back at me.
“What’s so funny?”
“I lied, a bit.”
“You WHAT?!”
“Oh yeah, I don’t have multiple girlfriends. I pretty much do this thing where I flirt with them, lead them into bed, and then boom! It’s a one night or one week thing.” Eliezer explained.
“So that makes you a fuckboy then? I mean, do you ask for consent at least? Because, you know..”
Eliezer nodded. “Of course I ask for consent with them, I always do so. I don’t want to be at risk for assault or anything bad like that.”
“What if the girl’s drunk, what would you do?” I asked, my voice low and serious.
Eliezer was silent for a moment, then replied. “You want to know something?”
“What?”
“I just leave them there, wherever they are at. I don’t take them upstairs or anything like that.” Eliezer explained. “You want to know something else? I have an older brother and-”
“You have an older brother. I didn’t even know.”
“Trust me, no one knows. Not even here at the club. But anyway, my brother went to a party years ago, he didn’t get drunk, at all. He took a girl upstairs who was drunk and put her into bed to rest, however, the situation was quite awkward and he therefore got accused with assaulting her.” Eliezer explained, and I was quite shocked.
“And how awkward was the situation?” I asked.
“Well, my older brother accidentally, need I say it again, accidentally fell atop of her, while she was drunk. Because of this, he got accused with assault. Heck, even he told the girl himself the day after that he didn’t assault her.”
“Did he get away with it?” I asked.
“It was years ago, and thankfully,” Ezekiah sighed, “it’s been long forgotten. It should be mentioned, I was 12 when it had happened.”
“How old are you now?”
“18.” He replied.
I stood there in silence for a moment. I felt bad for Ezekiah’s brother, I mean, it was six years ago, and now it’s been over with. “Anyway,” I asked, “what do you want to state to me?”
Ezekiah brushed his black hair out of the way, his green eyes looking directly at me as he grinned. “Well then, I might as well give you a flirting guide!”
I laughed quite hard. “Pff! Hahaha! You’re joking right? I mean, a guide to flirting-”
“I’m actually be serious about this Bartleby. Heck, how are you ever going to find someone to love and date here? You’re not going to be a virgin for the rest of your lif-”
I punched him in the arm quite hard.
“OW!”
“Yes,” I gritted through my teeth, “I am a virgin. But, that doesn’t mean you have to expose it in front of my face. Says the one who basically bangs girls on a 24/7 basis.”
“Hey hey hey, let’s not get too carried away now.” Ezekiah told me this, his voice shaking a bit under his breath. “I’ll teach you the guide to flirting. Or, as I call it, Ezekiah’s Guide To Flirting! It fits perfectly, right?”
“Yeah,” I murmured under my breath, “I guess so.”
●●●
It was late at night. Like, I’m guessing it must’ve been 7:30pm or something, because that was when Ezekiah has driven me over to some restaurant or bar. I wasn’t drunk or anything like that, it’s just that he had taken me to this location that I’ve never even crossed by before.
“So, where are we exactly?” I asked. Ezekiah didn’t say anything. Rather, he drove us over to the parking lot and parked in front.
“We’re here!” Ezekiah turned off the car’s ignition and got out, I unlocked my side of the door and followed him from behind.
I couldn’t help but take notice of the sign located at the top of the building. “Lighthouse Diner?”
“Yeah,” Ezekiah walked up to the front of the diner’s entrance door, “they mainly serve seafood among other things here. I’ve been here a few times with the Gentlemen’s club.”
“Like, with all of you together?”
He shook his head. “No, no. It wasn’t like that at all. I mainly went with any of the individual members. Sometimes I’d go here with Titus, other times it’s with Gravsny. I pretty much hang out with anyone from the club to take them here.”
“Do you take them here?”
“Of course I bring them here Bartleby! They are good…” Ezekiah paused his words for a moment. I knew what he was going to say, the “F” word, friends. He just had to say it.
I grinned. “Good…? Go on.”
“I was going to say that they’re good close companions to me. Despite our bad ways, we’re pretty much all close to one another.” Ezekiah stated.
“Cool. Anyway, we should go in?” I opened up the door to let Ezekiah in.
“Indeed we shall Bartleby, indeed we shall.” Ezekiah let himself in, and I followed him.
***
We were inside the Lighthouse Diner. We sat in a nice little light blue booth with white tables across both sides. The server came up to us, a female with her dark black hair tied in a ponytail with blue-green eyes and cream colored skin.
“Hello!” She gave us a smile. “Welcome to the Lighthouse Diner! My name is Patrice and I’ll be your server for tonight! Can I get you something?”
“Um, yeah.” Eliezer looked at the menu then back at Patrice. “I guess I’ll take a small English Breakfast tea and some fried Cape Cod fish.”
Patrice wrote it down then looked towards me. “And for you?”
“Oh me? Well,” I looked at the menu then started to tell my order, “I guess I’ll have the grilled salmon salad please. And also a small Sprite.”
Patrice wrote the order down, but her pen accidentally slipped out onto her hands and dropped onto the floor. “Coming right up! I’ll be ba-”
“Oh, by the way Patrice,” Ezekiah pointed to the pen on the floor. “you dropped your pen.”
“Thanks!” Patrice bent down to grab the pen and apologized. “Sorry about that, my hands are a bit slippery tonight and-”
“Maybe I can help you out with your slip.”
“How?”
“I could give you a bit of a slick tonight, clean it up for you.” Ezekiah grinned. It took me a second to realize what Ezekiah meant, which resulted in both Patrice and I blushing.
“O-oh, um, look. I have a boyfrie-”
Ezekiah chuckled. “You don’t sound like you do.”
Patrice was quite flabbergasted, even she didn’t know what to say. “I, um-”
“Please,” I stated, glaring at Ezekiah, “go get our food.”
“And drinks!” Ezekiah added.
“Right sorry! I’m on it!” Patrice then walked away from our table to go get our food and drinks.
Ezekiah looked at me, grinning. “You look quite, cute, I guess, when you’re mad.”
“Wow, thanks.” I gave a sarcastic remark towards him. At this point, I wanted to roll my eyes, but I was still wondering if Ezekiah was going to ever tell me about his little flirting guide.
“Anyway,” He changed the subject, “what I just did-”
“You mean what you just said to Patrice right?”
“Right, that.” Ezekiah gave a grin. “That was simply me giving a bit of a, let me say, innuendo flirting.”
“...Innuendo flirting?” I questioned, and Ezekiah gave me a nod.
“Yep! I gave a rather naughty innuendo and-”
“And you stated that she doesn’t look like she has a boyfriend.” I replied, interrupting his sentence. “I mean, have you seen how she blushed after you said what you spoke to her?”
“You did too, you know.” Ezekiah replied. He’s right. I did blush after that sentence.
“Here’s your food and drinks!” Patrice came back with our food and drinks as she placed them onto the table then left immediately.
●●●
Even while we were eating and talking, Ezekiah attempted to flirt with some of the female customers and even a few of the waitresses. All of them, except for me, were blushing giggling messes. I apologized a few times for Ezekiah’s flirtatious behavior. He did give some flirting advice in the process though. He told me things such as: Flirt like you’re actually flirting with someone, Be realistic with it, Don’t be awkward, Be confident, and many other things. I didn’t write them down on a piece of paper, but I kept them inside my phone.
“Thanks for the advice Eliezer!” I stated this whilst typing it onto my phone.
“Yeah, it’s no big deal really.” Ezekiah rubbed his neck. “I’m happy to help anyway.”
Patrice came by and gave us the check for our food, and she slipped a piece of paper towards Ezekiah. Ezekiah had a bit of a bewildered look on his face, and Patrice winked. “Call me.” She whispered, then she backed away and left.
“Well then,” I whispered, moving closer to Ezekiah. “looks like your little flirting worked.”
“Hey,” Ezekiah smirked, “you know what the others say? I can’t help it!”
“Yeah, I know.” I replied.
After Ezekiah payed for the meal, he left the bill on the table and began to stand up and stretch. I did the same thing. It was then that we walked over to the front door of the diner and left.
As we got out, Ezekiah went back into the car, opened the door and got himself in. I did the same, getting in the other side.
“So, Bartleby?”
“Yeah?”
“How did it feel learning about my little flirting guide?” Ezekiah asked. He turned on the car’s ignition and began to back away from the diner.
“It felt good.” I replied.
Ezekiah had his eyes on the road, still talking. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I don’t know if I’ll ever use it. But-”
“But it’s good starter right?”
I looked to see Ezekiah’s grin while we passing the streetlights.
“Yeah, it sure is.” I replied.
The rest of the ride back to my house was silent, though he turned on some music in the car and we were listening to that during the car ride. I know that I don’t like Ezekiah, it’s just that I know that one day, his flirting skills I took and noted will be used onto someone.
I just don’t know who.
- Writer
