My Mysterious Love For him

CHAPTER-1

ADAM

‘I’m not scared of darkness.’

At least that is what I repeat myself whenever I have to face it. I mean if we keep repeating one thing, we tend to believe it at some point. Debatable thought, I guess.

The echo of my footsteps across the long hallway makes me nervous. Even it was not the first time nor was I unfamiliar with these surroundings. I was supposed to be used to this. Still, the darkness itself seems to magnify every little thing around, the looming shadows of pricy pieces arranged in the corners along the way.

I try my best to ignore it by twiddling my fingers in front, murmuring some incoherent sentences from the book I was reading earlier in the evening. Sighing in relief as the main entrance comes into view, I pull out the key from my pocket trying to keep the clinking of metal minimum, twisting into the hole. Before I could open, it was pushed inside as usual, making me step back.

“Sorry, it’s cold outside.”  

Soraya sheepishly explains jumping on balls of her feet, shivering. I suppress my laughter as she reminds me of children eager to pee. She opens her mouth, I shush her gesturing with my forefinger to be attentive, and she nods quietly taking steps to the staircase.

Once I make sure, she didn’t trip on stairs due to the fact she had few drinks according to her earlier text. ‘Few, I should check how much is few this time.’ She gives me a thumbs up for successfully descending the last stair step, I chuckle silently at her antics.

Making my way to the kitchen down the hall from left side, I reheat the coffee in the oven. As weird as it sounds, Soraya has the habit of having a cup of her caramel coffee before going to bed. How could she sleeps like a log after having caffeine is beyond me.

I’m not a coffee person, its bitterness instantly turns my mood off.

On way back to her room, I think of sixteen years I have spent working as a housekeeper in the Richards mansion. Fact to be stated my family was serving since three generation to this household unfortunately after my parents demise, I was the last one remained.

As the tradition, it’d be assumed my children would be the next in line. But that’s not going to be the case, for one I’m already 33, not only my age, also my sexuality would not make it any more convenient. I don’t see myself getting into future prince charming kind of dreams.

My physical appearance is nothing special in fact could be called hideous due to permanent birth mark on left side of my face.

Nor do I have courage to face the society’s or this family’s judgmental opinions if I were to come out. As blunt as it sounds, it takes a status to make your dreams into reality. So I’m satisfied with what I have in present. I’m not optimistic kind of person, I get by each day and call it my life.

That’s it. Simple, uncomplicated.

Soraya is the only daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Richards, in spite of her snobbish parents the little girl managed to preserve her kindness from all the glitters. I have been taking care of her since the first moment she stumbled on her feet throwing the entire cake on me, I was carrying for her parent’s anniversary party.

The poor girl cried nonstop stuttering sorry in her baby voice. It was not until I took her in my arms humming my mother’s favorite tune did she calmed down. It was one of my favorite memories, from there onwards we’re inseparable. Much to her parent’s annoyance.

They never fail to show it from their methods of treating me like a maid. I stopped to let their ill treatment affect me since years now. Everything was worth it as long as Sora was happy.

Though for sake of her happiness, I should start detaching myself. In couple of weeks she was going to marry her fiancé Marcus. Then I’d be alone in this long life. Again.

I shook my head to shove those depressing thoughts away. Trudging back to her room I place the tray on the center table hearing shuffling behind her closet. I sigh, looking at the mess she had made throwing clothes, her purse one by one picking them from the floor I dump her clothes in bin for next day laundry.

She comes out in her night pajamas, I scrunch my face as she wears thin clothes unsuitable for the seasonal cold here. Grabbing one of her sweater from the closet, I shove it in her hand before she could grasp the coffee.

“What, oh…please Addy I don’t want this besides I’d be warm with hot drink and once I’d tuck myself in the comforter.” 

I give her a boring look, “Either wear it or say goodnight to your coffee,”

She scoffs dramatically taking the sweater and wearing it. I offer her the cup, satisfyingly seeing her childish smile sipping the drink with sprinted steps hoping on her bed.

“I was just trying to get prepared for the future, you know,”  

She mumbles not meeting my eyes, my hands halt arranging her stuff on dressing table. I raise my brow questionably not exactly understanding her.

“Oh c’mon. I mean, normally husbands isn’t it they expect their wives to look sexy at night for-

“Okay, TMI Sora,”

I interrupt instantly noticing the direction it was going, in return she gives me a bashful smile. Sora was naturally beautiful with her light brown eyes, clean facial features and waist length auburn hair. Still, she keeps having self-doubt about herself.

 Sighing, I move to sit in front of her. Recently it has become her habit of blurting anything as soon as she reads, hears- doing this or that will help to keep your married life interesting. Especially your life partner.

‘Ah, youngsters are so easily mislead with latest trends or suggestions cross their sight.’

I clasp her hand, “Sora, sweetheart you shouldn’t believe anything without confirming its validity. Even so, Marcus loves you the way you are. You don’t have to change just to impress him or to gain his attention. And if uhmm... you happen to have such doubts discuss with him instead of assuming on your own.”

I try not to blush visibly for advising the last one. Yet, from her teasing smile she seems to catch it.

“Addy, I wonder how are you experienced to give relationship advices when you had none or maybe you are naturally talented in all areas. Aww…your future husband is extremely lucky to have already such expertise.” She wiggles her finger in my face. I could feel warmness rushing my cheeks.

“I knew it was bad idea to reveal my sexuality to her,” I mumble making her cackle in laughter.

“Shut up, will you?” I groan, hitting her with one of the throw pillow.

Personally, I like having number of throw pillows on my bed. I have about five of small cute ones in my room. Sora is more of comforter liker. Wait, not the point.

“It was just a discussion alright. Anyways, it’s not like I’d be living the fairytale or those cliché happily ever after’s anywhere in future,”

My response sobers her quickly, I keep my eyes on the baby blue comforter. Diverting my attention with the random fact- for instance, I don’t like dull colors in any part of décor. I guess my life has enough of dullness already so I make efforts to minimize it any other possible way.

Indulging in thinking about incomprehensible facts ceases the negative emotions of my mind.

“Addy, she holds my hand in hers urging me to glance at her, “You ask me not to self-assume but don’t you think you are doing the same?”

I force a laugh, “Look at me, Sora. I don’t even meet the normal standards to be considered by someone let alone owning special feelings by them. It’s sensible to accept my reality instead of raising hopes over nothing.”

Unknowingly, I brush my fingers on birthmark it mostly occupies left side of my face. I’m not embarrassed to have it but also I haven’t just accepted it.

She embraces me in her hug bringing me back to the reality, I return the appreciation. Truly I needed it. Leaning back Sora sniffles softly, I wipe the tiny tear from under her eyes, feeling guilty for upsetting her.

“I don’t know exactly how I’m sure about this but trust me I have a strong intuition everything is going to change for better. She smiles wistfully, “Just wait Addy, the world would surely gift you with something precious for all the generosity, positivity you have.”

I don’t exactly agree with her still I pull up a smile, grateful to have at least one person caring about me.

“Okay sweet pumpkin, we shall see. Although I do have someone precious right in front of my eyes,”

She giggles cutely when I pinch her cheeks.

I narrow my eyes at her recollecting my point, “This reminds me, how many drinks did you had earlier in the party?”   

Her eyes widens fractionally, she murmurs to herself then start yawing loudly way more than needed.

“Oh god, I’m so tired. We will talk about this tomorrow,” She scrambles into her covers, in the process kicking me out of her bed.

I chuckle silently at her dramatics, adjusting the comforter properly around her. “Goodnight Addy,”

She mumbles sleepily as I pat her head.

I leave her room after switching on bed lights, walking in direction of my room. Going through my night routine shortly, I get into my bed. Tiredness from long day consumes me. Sora’s hopeful words was the last thing in my mind.

'Maybe just maybe there might be hope for my future.'