Someone who makes me feel loved<3

First time texting him -3

As soon as I got home, I took a warm shower, ate lunch, and then sat down on my chair, staring at my phone. I had no clue what to text him. After minutes of blankly thinking and failing to come up with anything good, I decided to text the one person who always knows what to do—my online best friend.

Her name is Evelyn.

She’s the only person I trust more than myself. We share the same birthday, and honestly, she knows everything about me. We met through a random comment on i********:. Back then, our conversations were dry and awkward, but as time passed, we grew closer. Now, she’s like the sister I never had. Sometimes, I still wonder how girls like her even exist. She’s beautiful, smart, and kind, but she never sees how amazing she is. People say she doesn’t talk much, but with me, she never stops talking. Maybe it’s because she knows I understand—because I get what she’s going through, even at such a young age.

So, naturally, I ran to her for help.

**"Heyyy Evelyn, how are you?"**

**"Heyy Jules, I'm good! What about you?"**

**"I'm good too."**

**"Nice! So did you talk to Sebastian today?"**

**"No, I didn’t get a chance."**

**"Oh, so what now?"**

**"I’m planning to text him about the book thing."**

**"Did you already?"**

**"No... I don’t know what to say."**

**"No worries, I’ll help you!"**

As always, Evelyn came to my rescue. She gave me so many ideas—cute ones, casual ones, confident ones. After a bit of thinking, I finally sent him a message:

**"Hiii, you're in 10th grade, right? I need your help."**

The second I hit send, I literally jumped up and down like a maniac. My heart was racing, and I couldn’t stop checking my phone. Minutes passed... then an hour... and still no reply.

**"Evelyn, maybe texting Sebastian was a bad idea... What if he thinks I’m annoying?"**

**"Bro, Jules. No. He’s probably just busy."**

**"But what if he’s actually ignoring me? Should I just delete it?"**

**"You just need to be patient."**

**"Okay... I guess."**

Eventually, I gave up and put my phone away, completely drained from overthinking. Four hours later, my phone finally lit up.

**"Yes?"**

Seriously? Just *yes*? I can’t explain how mad I was. Like, *hello??* Why so dry?

Still, I swallowed my pride and replied:

**"Actually, we need the 10th-grade English book for our next period. Can I borrow yours for two days?"**

After a while, he texted back:

**"Actually, that book is part of my current course, so I can’t give it."**

Ouch. I just stared at my phone. I know I didn’t confess to him or anything, but somehow, it still felt like rejection—my first ever rejection. I was so down, but I still had to keep the conversation going.

**"Ohh, it’s okay! Btw, where can I buy it from?"**

**"You can get it from the school store—that’s where I got mine. Or maybe you can buy it online."**

That made me feel a little better. At least he didn’t just shut down the conversation.

We chatted a bit more about school until I ran out of topics. So... I took a deep breath and sent a risky text:

**"Tbh, I was scared to text you. Some people said 10th graders are rude, but you're not."**

The moment I sent that, I flung my phone across the bed and started imagining every worst-case scenario. What if he blocks me? What if he thinks I’m creepy?

After an eternity, he finally replied:

**"Ohh thanks hehe."**

My face turned red in an instant. We talked more after that. He was still a little dry, but I didn’t mind. I found out he liked *Stranger Things* too—he’d watched all four seasons. When he told me his favorite was Season 2, it somehow became my favorite too. When he said Max and Dustin were his favorite characters, suddenly, they were mine too. He said he liked football, and just like that, I started liking it more than I did before.

I couldn’t understand it. Why did I care so much? Why did I start smiling when he smiled? Why did I feel like crying when he sounded down?

Then one day, something inside me changed.

We were having a totally normal conversation when I asked:

**"Btw, since when have you been studying at this school?"**

**"Since 2015—from 1st grade."**

**"Oh, cool! I’ve been here since 2014—nursery."**

**"Ohh."**

Then, out of nowhere, I told him:

**"You look like a topper."**

His reply surprised me.

**"I used to be, but now I’m not that good in academics. I’m trying to get back on track and balance gym, sports, and studies."**

**"Oof, that’s a lot of pressure."**

**"I don’t take it as pressure. I actually feel satisfied doing it."**

**"You even feel satisfied studying??"** I teased.

**"No lol."**

Then I randomly blurted out:

**"I have no real talent except writing, sketching, cooking, and playing guitar lol."**

**"Those are good! I also know how to cook."**

Excuse me—*what?!* He knows how to *cook?* I almost dropped my phone.

**"Wait... seriously?? I’ve never met a boy who can cook!"**

**"Yeah, I make one meal a day myself. It’s just a survival skill—nothing big."**

Nothing big? Ugh. He was such a green flag.

Later, I asked:

**"Btw, how old are you?"**

**"16."**

A couple days passed. I asked him something, but he didn’t reply that day. Evelyn tried to reassure me:

**"Maybe he’s just busy."**

But a part of me couldn’t stop thinking—*what if he’s ignoring me? What if he thinks I’m annoying?*

One day became two. No reply.

At this point, I had lost all hope. But still... I kept checking my messages every two minutes like a lovesick fool.

Whoever said love makes people crazy was 100% right.

I was living proof