Unbidden Awakening

The one where I have a premonition.

It's crazy how hope works. One minute, it's there, another minute, it's gone. I was doing really well so far. I had a few moments where I envisioned happiness, but before I could grab it for myself, it was ripped away brutally.

After we left the club, Max took me to his car. A car, which I must say, matches the owner to the tee. I am totally unknowledgable about cars, so I don't recognise what make or model it is, but for one thing, the exterior is black, and the interior is pristine and weirdly, but unsurprisingly blue.

Right now, the weather is mirroring my mood. What started as a slight drizzle has since turned into a full-on downpour. Neela's head is on my shoulder. Right now, I envy her. She's sleeping without a care in the world. I wish I could do that.

I'm brought out of my reverie when a crack of thunder and a flash of lightning illumines the car, bringing Max's face in the rear view mirror into focus. His eyes are on the road, so thankfully, he doesn't see me, but occasionally, I feel him staring at me.

I'm actively trying to avoid Max's eye in the rear view mirror. We have not said a word to each other since we got into the car. If i am being honest, I'm grateful for – oppressive as it is – the silence. I don't want to talk, and even if I did, I wouldn't know what to say.

So I rest my head on the window and just watch my reflection in the glass and observe the rain drops perform their watery dance.

We ride in silence until we get to the front of my apartment . I look up at the building. It looks strangely imposing this night. The other buildings surrounding it look ordinary and basic. When I started my second year in college, my Dad set this place up for us, or so he claimed.

He just came home that day, dropped the keys, the flyer, and the access card on the coffee table and announced to me that we were no longer staying in our home. We were to move out to an apartment building closer to my school. In hindsight, it was probably a ploy to get me out of the house. He rarely came by here, and when he does, it's so perfectly timed that we don't ever run into each other. I'm guessing it's because he doesn't want to see me. That thought doesn't disturb me as much as it should.

I wake Neela up.

"Neela, come on, wake up." She stirs, let's out an incomprehensible mumble, and continues sleeping.

"I'll help you," Max says from the front of the car, and I tense. Those are the first words he has spoken to me since he accused me of lying to him– although technically true– for some reason that vexes me. He accuses me of lying, then stone walls me.

I don't acknowledge him when he comes to my side of his car and helps me carry Neela out so that I am able to get out of the car, Max changes his grip on Neela, he carries he up to hold her bridal style. The flash of possession and jealousy that runs through me is so visceral even I am shocked by it. Max,s head whips so fast to look at me, like he somehow sensed my emotions. I keep my gaze resolutely forward, but even I don't miss the small smile that plays on his lips.

I walk inside the building and into the elevator. He follows me silently. I live on the first floor, so the elevator ride is a short one. I walk to the front of my door, and he sets Neela on her feet. She sways and falls, almost taking me with her, but Max steadies me.

"Are you alright?" He asks me. I notice that one of his hands is on me, and the other is on Neela .His voice washes over me, and like a fool, I look into his eyes. Normally, his eyes fill me up with passion.like no other, but now, it fills me up with irrational anger.

I wrench my arm from his grip and haul Neela none too gently through my door and slam it in his face. I put Neela on my couch, and I help her take off her shoes.

I go to the laundry room and get a spare blanket and cover Neela. I look at her and laugh ruefully. She's going to have a pounding headache tomorrow morning.

I go into the kitchen and pour myself a glass of water. Mortification fills me when I remember how irrationally I acted when Max held Neela. He was only trying to help, but somehow, this thought only sours my mood further.

I acted like I had a claim to him, and if I'm being honest, I don't know which annoyed me more, the fact that I wanted a claim on him or that I didn't infact have on. I grimace. Thinking about it hurt my brain too much.

I trudged up to my bedroom, took off my shoes, and promptly collapsed. I must have been more tired than i realised because as soon as my head hit my pillow, I fell asleep.

My dreams were restless. First, I dreamt of a big black wolf. The wolf felt familiar. I had the inexplicable sense that I knew the wolf. I felt drawn to it. Like in some way, my soul regognised him. I reached out to touch it, but it snarled and leapt. I screamed, and my dream changed.

Next, I was in the forest. The earth was soft beneath my paws. The breeze carried the scent of the earth. The thrill of the run made my blood come alive. I could hear the sound of all the other small animals scurrying out of my path.

They knew who the predator was.

Woah, where did that thought come from.

I near a stream, and I stop to drink. I see my reflection, and I'm so shocked I let out a scream or try to. My reflection isn't mine. My brain frantically tries to make sense of what I'm seeing. I'm a... I'm a.... I'm a wolf.

My dream changes again, and this time, I'm dancing with Max. He twirls me in his hands as expertly as he did earlier. We come to a stop, and he rests his forehead atop mine. We look into each others eyes. His hands come to finger the strands of my face.

His face was so close to mine that I could see the hunger in his blue eyes set in an otherwise unscrutable face. He brings his face to rest on my shoulders. He says my name, and it comes out more like a groan.

When his tongue flickers out and touches my pulse point, I can't help it. I let out a moan. He licks my neck with flicks of his tongue. Each flick ignites a burning within me, a desire for more. My body feels to full. I need to be doing something. Anything. I try to think, but My brain comes up blank.

He suckles my pulse point quite intently, and I let out a moan, this one louder than the last. My chest feels like it's going to explode with feeling. I open my mouth to demand more from him when his hands on the side of my neck start gripping me with bruising force.

His tender motions turn into something else, something I can't name, something not good. My hand goes up to his hair to tug him away, and his head comes away. Only, his eyes aren't blue. They are a searing gold, I feel like something else is looking at me through those eyes. Something other.

"Mine." A shiver of apprehension runs through me. His voice, which is normally resonant and wonderfully husky, is now guttural and strange.

"Mine," he groans out again, then his face shifts. Literally. A muzzle starts to elongate out of his face. and I watch in frozen horror as his face morphs into that if a wolf. He opens his maw, and I scream.

My eyes shoot open to Neela's face directly above mine. I let out a scream. She lets out her own scream. I let out another scream, and she screams again.

"Girl, what is wrong with you?" I ask her, rubbing the bridge of my nose. I try to remember why I woke up screaming, but my mind is fuzzy.

Neela only laughs.

"You were having the weirdest s*x dream ever," she manages between laughs.

It comes back to me with scary accuracy, and I'm absolutely mortified. I let out a choked scream, but Neela only laughs harder.

"Ughhhhhh" I throw my blanket over my head, partly because of embarrassment and partly because I don't want Neela to see how scared I am, because for some reason, my dream feels less like a dream and more like a premonition.