Make me whole

Apparently not

It was one day that I tried to have new friends. They were from the house our grandmother always warned us about. She’d always tell us how they were a family of witches.

Days went turned into weeks and weeks into months, my first year at Independent School moved along. I wasn’t completely happy with the suburban life because I felt dethatched from life as I knew it. I was so used to playing in the dust all day king with friends, only taking a break to eat, not staying indoors, and watching TV shows. The only place I ever felt like I belonged was at my grandmother’s place in the location. At least there was a bit of ground that I found play with there. It made my dad was very angry that I played with mud while I was still in my uniform but K.O couldn’t have said better when he said “You can take me out of the ghetto but you can’t take the ghetto out of me.”

It was one day that I tried to make myself a pair of new friends. They were from the house our grandmother always warned us about. She’d always tell us how they were a family of witch doctors but I didn’t listen because I'm stubborn and hot-headed. Also, I needed I wouldn’t be stuck watching home shows on the old-school analog television.

I made friends with the very same people that she warned me against. I didn’t know that the person I teased a few days back was someone from their family. My heartbeat was beating so hard against my chest when I saw him walk into that yard as I thought about how I’m going to explain to that granny that I teased her grandson a few days back.

Gone were the wise words of my grandmother, in came the naïve me. I honestly thought they’re harmless, children, like me.

I regretted the decision the moment I stepped into the house, thinking deeply about what would become of me now that I talked ill about her grandson. My palms became sweaty as the picture of me being trapped in that house with no ability to talk or move a limb in my body took over. I was now wide-eyed and tongue-tied, feeling like s**t. There was no amount of deep breathing that could help me ease up. I was scared for my life. So much so that I didn’t tell my grandmother about our little altercation, I knew she would give me hell about it. That woman talks like nobody's business! She doesn’t mind complaining from the start of the day to the very end of the day. I kept my mouth shut and held on to the little hope I had that she wouldn’t bewitch me and God forbid turn me into a slave or make me do her dirty work.

“Gogo”? (Gran?) I called out, trying to find out how deep the damage was without asking. “Why are and the Granny next door sworn enemies?” I asked.

“That’s not kids' business.” She replied with much sass, which left me shocked because she had never had any problems telling me things.

Whatever it is getting about must be big. Why else would they accuse each other of witchcraft? One of the two rumors has to be true. Or maybe I don’t know my family that well. There’s no smoke without fire right? I now had my head rested on the broomstick, thinking about the two rivals. My grandmother brought me back to life by snapping fingers and calling my name out repeatedly. I shook my head back to life and continued where I left off. “It's adult business. You don’t need to know anything about that.” I just carried on, careful not to get distracted this time around until I got done. After that, I looked at the white tiles and once I was sure that I’m satisfied with my work, I poured the water down the outside drain only to be met by an evil eye the minute I raised my head. There was, walking stick in her hand, walking ever so slowly she won’t o the floor still had her gaze fixated on me. She kept digging for something and I couldn’t help but stare because whatever she was digging for was invisible. What the hell? There was a sound coming from her trunk, like stones moving against the metal. My grandmother has something like that and I knew that hers was for storing coal. “Hey, hey!” That was my grandmother scolding from around the corner. “Wenzani lapho?” (What are you doing there?) “Lutho Gogo ngicitha amanzi nje.” (Nothing Grandma, I’m just pouring the water down the drain.) I responded and swiftly made my way around her and into the house.

I started yawning uncontrollably and decided to sleep for a little while. While I was asleep, I dreamt of a long, black snake rushing towards me and raising its head to strike. I tried to run but my feet stayed glued to the spot and it eventually caught up to me and bit me. Waking up was so difficult but I eventually escaped that horrible dream. s**t! thought to myself, breathing heavily, my whole body shaking from fear. Why the hell can’t open my eyes? I felt tears escaping my shut eyes. “Gogo!” I screamed desperately for my grandma to come and help.

It’s punishment for teasing her grandchild. I didn’t think it’d happen so soon. “Ima kancance ngiyeza.” (Just hold on a bit on a bit I’m coming.) My grandmother said I’m coming. What a long wait it was waiting for her! I felt my t-shirt's strap that was hanging loosely around my neck get tighter with every passing minute. I wrapped my hands around my neck, barely able to breathe, feeling like my soul is slowly leaving my flesh. I then smelt African sage in the room and my grandmother stares communicating with her ancestors that they be with me and that they show her how to deal with my situation. My eyes opened just in time to see her circling my body with the smoke coming from the sage. It smelt different today, I liked its smell. I smiled at her and she didn’t return the smile. Instead, her mouth formed a straight line. “I warned you. This war is far from over. I hope for your sake that you know what you’ve just started.” She said before walking away. I swallowed hard to stop myself from crying. It’s m fault, even if I wanted to cry, who could I possibly cry to?

I woke with droopy eyelids and a scratchy voice. I’d been battling evil spirits the whole night with no success, which was not an easy task to do. I dragged myself to the bathroom and prepared Epsom salt and methylated spirits to try and do a cleansing of myself. I bathed while speaking: “No had shall come my way.” I said out loud. I know that I’ll come out of this victorious. Evil spirits, leave my body! I’m not your child, I being to the angels of light. I said, not sure if it’s me or the demons that I was trying to convince at the time. My mind was not there, it kept going back to the darkness I found myself in yesterday night, unable to move or cry for help. I thought it was sleep paralysis until I woke up and realise that was sleeping on my side the whole time. My grandmother's words revisited my mind and rang like a church bell. “This is far from over.” They echoed in my mind and I kept hitting the sides of my head to silence them as they were getting louder and louder. “Shut up!” I finally screamed in agony. They didn’t, instead, I heard a pinging sound in my ears the more I tried to silence them. My grandmother came into the room to witness me rolling around the floor frantically and shook her head. She then walked out, leaving me in confusion. Why the hell would she walk away and leave me in this mess? I missed home like never before now. These things were said to happen a lot in that area and there’s nothing I wanted more than to get away from it all. I was counting down the hours until my dad fat he’d me from there because I couldn’t stand another minute of being there! My grandmother came into the room again and told me to a pit out. I do onto some enamel bowl. I did that and then she took some water and poured it over the spit, thereafter prayed. After a few minutes, the ringing went away and I drew a deep breath in, preparing to finally get some great. I checked the clock beside me and noticed that it was there in the morning! What the hell? I need to be up by six AM. I thought, disgruntled, and forced my eyes shut. I think my gran understood why I won’t u at ten instead, the previous night was long! I slipped into a floral print, strappy, sleeveless slit dress, and rose gold sandals then headed out of the bathroom not sure how I'd tackle the day and its duties as tired as I was. I got to the kitchen and took the broom and went to work, my vision getting poorer by the minute. I had long decided by then that u didn’t want to bother my grandma with my problems unnecessarily and to my luck, I was able to finish everything and sot down before a dizzy spell hit me. I then lied face upwards on the couch and took as much air on and as much air out as I possibly could. “No feet on my couch!” Eish, I exclaimed silently and sat up I watched the while room spinning, my ability to pretend weakening. It was not long after that k heard a gush of water hit my face. What was that for? That… My gran started, as if reading my thoughts was for not listening to me when I tell you things. I liked rapidly, my vision slowly returning to a normal state. “You’ll have to permanently move here while I try to find a viable solution to this problem. Your father doesn’t know anything about spiritualism. Great! Absolutely great! Me?