A SECRET SIN

14

“Sorry, man. Got a lot on my mind.”

“The girl?” He smirked.

“Unfortunately.” I grabbed my phone and confirmed that she still hadn’t responded to my text from

that morning. All damn day and nothing.

“Maybe she’s just not that into you.”

I shot him an arctic glare. “You’re walking a thin f*****g line.”

Callum raised his hands in surrender. “I’m only saying maybe it’s not meant to be. Right girl,

wrong time or something like that.”

“I think she doesn’t even know what she’s running from. Just a fear of what might be. That’s the

reason I’m not giving up because I know it’s unfounded. I’m not planning to keep her barefoot and

pregnant.”

“You sure you’re not chasing just because she’s running?” he asked warily.

“I don’t think so, but who the f**k knows.” I wiped my face with one of the hand towels nearby.

“I’m going to hit the shower and head home.”

He lifted his fist, and I tapped it with mine. “Good luck, man. Can’t say I envy you.”

I grimaced as I walked away. Maybe I was beating my head against a wall, but I couldn’t seem to

stop. My gut told me to fight for her, and the damn thing had never proven me wrong. I’d never given

up easily when I went after something I wanted, and this was no time to start. I would find a way to

show Pippa I was exactly what she wanted—what she needed—and nothing would stop me, least of

all my own self-doubt.

Two hours later, I was showered and pacing my living room. Pippa still hadn’t texted me. Giving

in, I dialed her number and resorted to a call. The phone rang six times before her voicemail picked

up.

Goddammit.

It was nearly ten at night on a Friday. Could she really be that busy, or was she just ignoring me? I

stretched my neck from one side to the other. I’d never been so damn tense as I’d been all week.

Or so I’d thought.

Seconds after I ended the failed call, Conner’s number appeared on my screen.

“What’s up?” I asked, concern sharpening my voice. I wasn’t scheduled to work that night, so a

call from Conner had me on edge. Had something gone down at the club? We ran a multimillion-

dollar underground gambling ring through a front known as the Bastion Club. Our activities usually

flew under the radar, but every now and then, things got dicey.

“Nothing,” he grumbled. “Abso-fuckin’-lutely nothing.”

My face twisted with confusion. “Nothing? What the f**k is up with you?” It wasn’t like him to

call for no reason.

Conner sighed loudly. “Noemi and Pippa wanted to go out tonight. I let them go to LAVO as long

as they took Shae with them, but I’m not happy about it.”

Pippa was out at f*****g LAVO, one of the hottest clubs in Manhattan? Every muscle in my body

strained to the point of snapping. “What the f**k are they doing there?”

“Hey, don’t yell at me. It was your woman who pushed for a girls’ night out.”

My woman. That couldn’t feel further from the truth. I’d have better luck corralling smoke than I

did Pippa Revello. Jesus.

That was it. No more f*****g around. It was time for one last-ditch effort to win her over. To

prove I could give her everything she needed. And if she didn’t want everything I had to offer, I’d

finally admit that it wouldn’t work.

She wanted to experience the world. I’d f*****g give it to her.

“Whatever. I’ve gotta go.” I hung up on him. With no time to waste, I called Callum.

“Yeah?” he answered, loud music in the background.

“I need you to head to my place,” I barked at him.

“What? I have plans tonight.”

“Cancel them and get your ass to my place.” I grabbed my keys, explaining what I needed from

him as I marched to the elevator.

SOME PEOPLE TALK THROUGH SITUATIONS TO COPE, WHILE OTHERS TURTLE—CRAWL INTO THEIR SHELLS

and process internally. I was a turtler. When circumstances overwhelmed me, I withdrew from friends

and family in order to sort through my thoughts and feelings. Mom called it disappearing into my

cave.

My conflicted emotions about Bishop had pushed me to a point of turtling. I spent a solid week

lost in my head, trying to decide what to do and how I felt. I thought about what I wanted from life and

what it would mean to have Bishop be a part of that journey. I could feel my heart finding ways to

rationalize a relationship with him. The independent side of me felt betrayed—like I’d given in to

societal pressures to latch onto a man—and being upset about my feelings only made things worse.

With each day that passed, however, I inched closer and closer to a decision. I couldn’t deny that I

wanted to give Bishop a chance. The part of me that had lobbied so hard for adventure and freedom

felt defeated. To assure myself that I was still me and no man could take that away, I decided to drag

Noemi clubbing with me. It was only the second time we’d ever managed to go to a club, and it was

made possible because of a woman named Shae. She was a part of the Irish organization and some

kind of badass fighter. Noemi’s husband insisted we take her as protection, which was no problem for

me because Shae was awesome. And with her along, I was able to tell my dad my plans rather than

sneak behind his back like I’d had to do before. Once Dad knew that Conner trusted Shae enough to

protect Noemi, he agreed to let me go without my own escort.

I wore a stretchy white dress that clung to my curves, stopping just below my ass. It made my tan

look spectacular and gave me the confidence to hide the fact that inside I felt like a train veering off

its tracks.