The Life of Nyx

Secrets under Moonlight

Somewhere at the corner of my mind, i expect the person to be myself.

In that murky night, when i captured that face, i froze still.

The figure reveals itself to be a man, eyes closed. It's hard to guess the age, but the thing I determined was that, there's a strong eerie aura around him, for which there would be no wonder if the devil itself comes and bows before him. There's a glow, which seems to be wax and wane in a fraction of seconds.Despite all those flaws, He was really beautiful. I know boys aren't supposed to be, but He was. I kept looking at him, the same way i look at the moon.

Not a few seconds passed, a sound followed, which felt like it was coming from another dimension. The sound carried a word. As soon as i processed the word in my mind, chills ran down my spine. The voice spoke my name - Nyx....

Then all of a sudden, the colour of fluorescent red walls started to grow deeper, turning the entire surroundings deep black. In the midst of all this chaos, i sensed a dizzy feeling in my body, from which i came to know it's time for me to drop out of this dream world.

The person kept his stillness.

The pitch black walls broke into thousands of fragments of mirror shards making the floor beneath me disappear.

My next vision was a lovely white light flowing from the window. My study table?.Looks like I woke up from the dream.

I sit right on my bed, my whole body feeling pretty numb. I grabbed the water bottle on the cabinet beside my bed and calmly took a few sips. After gaining my posture, i got up from my bed and went to my window. My body bathing in the rays of the full moon. The rays of full moon are supposed to be more bright .The moon is becoming dull, the effect of pollution?, probably. Staring at the moon , i wondered how long it was , that i felt this enthusiastic about something, although it's in a dream. All those feelings and experiences I gained a few moments ago are now becoming strangers. Of course, there's nothing so surprising in it, after all my body and brain is not used to that kind of stuff.

There, peeking through some of my past,

My first memory is that I remember as a child, watching the moon on the terrace. Unlike now, the first moon i remember used to be like an early morning sun. Its brightness gets spread entirely to each corner of the sky and the roads need not require any streetlights. Stars fighting to occupy every corner of the sky. I witnessed all that beauty, as per i remember so far in that memory, with watery eyes.

I grew up as an orphan. The orphanage i used to live in is pretty kind but kept everything to itself from the outside world. The place is in the midst of a terrain, where no other people who don't belong to our area can be seen. I remember kids chit chatting in groups, some as duos, some part of solos engaged in specific works given in their own world and the very few rest, just watching everyone , the list which includes me. I see a group, hoping to join , i approach them, nothing matches, the interest is lost and the next thing known, i find myself isolated in my place, gaining the ability to become deaf on the sound which i don't prefer hearing.

I let myself stay most of the time in nature, especially under the moon. Nature heals my unknown twisted disease. Whenever i feel off, i handover myself to it, and alas, magical things like a wind would be born from a mysterious place and reach only to me, takes place. At least I get a sense of life in me.

School life was the same story. Once I passed out of my elementary school, things took a slight change, for of course, my soul gave no much greater response. With this twisted mental disease, my physical body shook hands, resulting in an auto immune disorder. A condition where your immune system attacks your own cells, suits me. That thing left my body in black scars, which is on the verge of just manageable through my lifetime meds and oversized clothing.

I moved from the orphanage securing a part time job provided by it,and making my own living.

Now, coming back to the present moment, these are my final months in high school. Soon, i will be moving to college. I am trying hard to be successful in life, not the success which usually people refer to. I want to find the meaning of life, let it be through excelling in studies or making attempts to socialize. Just, if i can skip this feeling of living corpse and actually stay alive.

It's too early to be thinking about all these, I should go back to sleep.I captured a last deadly stare of this night through the sky, as if a goddess is ordering the kingdom.