A Second Chance At Love

Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Sage

“Ruiz,” he said before pulling the beer mug to his lips.

I didn’t know what I expected from Callan Duran, but the icy greeting wasn’t it. Holding out my arms, I c****d my head to one side. “How about a hug for your old best friend’s girl?”

Putting the empty mug down on the bar, he looked a little reluctant to hug me, but then he gathered me up in his strong arms, lifting my feet off the floor. “You know that you’re a little more to me than just that.”

I wasn’t sure about that. But him saying it made me feel better about how things had gone with us. “You’ve filled out, Callan.” I rested my hands on his amazing biceps.

He looked directly at my chest. “You have too.”

I’d gone up a cup-size in bras. “When I had the baby, it rounded out parts of me that hadn’t been that round before.”

“Being a mother looks good on you.” He looked around the crowded room then took my hand. “Let’s go to the back where we can hear each other talk.”

Callan had always been on the great-looking side. But now, well, now he was too hot for words. His blonde hair hung in soft waves to just above his shoulders, and his blue eyes seemed even brighter than they had eleven years earlier. Tall at a little over six feet, his shoulders had broadened, and his legs were thicker too. He was no longer a boy — he was all man now. And quite a spectacular man to look at.

Too bad I can never have him.

He pulled out a chair for me at a small table for two, way in the back. A waitress came up to us right away. “What can I get you two to drink?”

Callan took the other chair, a sexy grin curving his chiseled, caramel lips. “We’ll each have a shot of Jose Cuervo Gold. And a couple of Budweisers.”

“I’ve gotta watch my carbs. Make mine a Michelob Ultra.”

“Mine too.” He chuckled as he patted his firm stomach. “I have to watch my figure too. I was just thinking you might still be into what we used to drink back in the day.”

“I have grown up, and so have my tastebuds. But tequila sounds good.” I vividly remembered drinking tequila with him and Robbie the night before Robbie left town to join the Marines. The last time either of us ever saw him. I thought about Robbie often. But sitting with his best friend brought back tons of memories. “Can we make a pact not to get wasted tonight and do crazy things again?”

“Aww, come on, Ruiz. Let’s not make any rash pacts so early in the night.” His eyes sparkled as he looked me over. Reaching out, he twirled one of my curls around his finger. “I like your hair this way. It’s a lot longer than it was back then. And you’re curling it now too. And wearing makeup. That’s new. Well, it’s new to me. I’m sure you’ve been wearing it for years.”

“After I moved out of my parents’ house, the summer after we graduated, I finally got to use makeup. My grandmother didn’t care what I did.” I’d moved to Dallas to live with my grandmother after finding out that I was pregnant, and that Robbie would never be coming back home. I couldn’t stand to look at the places we’d been. I had to leave. And once I had the baby, I knew I couldn’t ever move back to Brownsville, Texas.

My body prickled as he reached out, his hand cradling my face as he gently moved his thumb back and forth over my cheek. “I like the way you don’t wear too much makeup. You always had the best skin. Never a blemish on your face.”

His touch was killing me. So, I took his hand and moved it away from my face. “Funny, I recall you calling me pizza face on many occasions.”

He nodded slowly. “Yeah. I did do that. I could call you that because you never had anything to feel insecure about with your clear complexion. If you’d really had acne, I wouldn’t have said it. I know I acted like one, but I wasn’t really an asshole like I was with you.”

“I’m aware of that. I did see you being nice to other people. Jenny Majors, for instance.” I’d been so jealous when he’d started dating her in our junior year of high school. “How is she doing?”

“I’ve got no idea. I lost track of her when I went to college and she doesn’t live in town anymore. The whole family moved off to somewhere. We were never that close anyway.” He leaned back in his chair, looking at me with such softness in his eyes. “You knew that, though. You knew all along that she and I were not going to work out. I recall you telling me that she was too pretty for such an ugly guy like me.”

Blushing, I felt a little embarrassed for some of the things I’d said to Callan back then. “Did I really say that?”

“You did.”

The waitress brought our drinks. Then he held up the shot glass of tequila. I picked mine up too. “So, should we drink to him?” I asked.

“Yeah.” He touched his glass to mine. “This one’s for you, buddy. You will always be missed by the two of us.”

“Neither of us will ever forget you, Robbie Winslow, the love of my life and the best friend anyone could ever have.” I had to fight back the tears as I downed the shot.

Callan put the empty glass down then wiped his eyes. “Damn.”

I did the same, wiping my eyes. “Yeah. Damn.”

“I never told this to anyone. But I had a gut feeling the day that Robbie left that I would never see him again. I hate the fact that I was right.”

“I had hope that he’d come back.” I had held out hope the entire two months he’d been away. “And when he was able to call me and I told him that I was pregnant, I still thought he’d come back home.”

“How’d that go?” He leaned forward, wearing a curious expression as he folded his hands on top of the table.

“He was happy,” I laughed as I remembered his reaction. “I was hem-hawing around, not sure how to tell him that I was pregnant. Then he said he couldn’t talk much longer, and I knew I had to blurt it out. So, I just said it. I said, ‘I’m having a baby.’ And he laughed and shouted out to everyone around him that he was gonna be a daddy. And then he told me — he didn’t ask me — he told me that when he came home, we’d get married and we would be the happiest family there ever was.”

“And you believed him.” Callan sighed heavily as he sat back. “You believed that you two still had a future together. But that wasn’t true at all.”

Nodding, I felt a lump form in my throat. “It was four days later that his mother called to tell me that Robbie was killed in action in Afghanistan. She also told me that Robbie had told her about the baby and that she and Robbie’s dad would always be there for us. They even moved to Dallas about a year after River was born so that they could help out with him. Thanks to them, I’ve never had to leave my son with a babysitter or take him to daycare. His mammy and pappy watch him while I work.”

“Why’d you leave Brownsville?” he asked. “I mean, your parents never left. So, why did you?”

Because I had a secret that I couldn’t have kept had I stayed here.

I couldn’t tell him the truth, so I told him a version of it. “I saw Robbie wherever I looked. I couldn’t take it. So, I moved back to Dallas with my grandmother. And we still live with her. I like it that way. It makes it more like a real home for River. Not just me and him in some small apartment, you know?”

“Yeah. It sounds like you’re a good mom, Sage.”

It was a rare occasion that he would call me by my first name. The reminiscing about Robbie may have made him feel like we still had a connection — which we could not have, despite this nice little catch up we were having. “I’ve done okay. But that’s only because of the help Robbie’s parents have given me. And my family too, of course. If I hadn’t had such a great support system, then I have no idea how good of a mother I would be now.”

“Robbie would’ve been proud of you, you know.” He touched my hand, sending jolts of pure electricity running through my body.

And I hated how it felt. It felt like I was coming undone inside. If things had been different, I would’ve loved the way it felt when our bodies touched in any and every way. But things couldn’t be different.

Callan had been the last man I’d ever had s*x with. And it was the absolute best s*x I’d ever had. Not that I had a lot to compare it to.

Robbie and I had been intimate for the last few months of our senior year. He and I had been each other’s firsts. Maybe that’s why our s*x wasn’t as amazing as it had been with Callan. He had some experience; there had been Jenny and then he had played the field a bit during senior year. I didn’t like to think about him having s*x with anyone, though. So, I’d sort of stopped listening when he’d talked to Robbie about any girls he was interested in or had been messing around with.

As amazing as the s*x had been, it was also something I felt terrible about. Betraying Robbie ended up hurting me more than I knew I could hurt. “He was the best. He deserved better than what he got. He deserved better than me.”

“Don’t say that.” Callan took my hand in his, holding it tightly, making fireworks go off in my lower regions. “I feel bad about that too. I really do. I never wanted to hurt him. And we can be thankful that we never had to hurt him by telling him anything.”

“I hated myself for a long time for what we did.” I saw no other way to say it. I wasn’t trying to make him feel guilty. I’d been just as into it as he’d been.

“Yeah, me too,” he admitted, letting my hand go so he could pick up his beer. “I was his best friend. I was the one guy he knew he could trust with anything. And the thing is that I don’t know how we got to where we got, Sage. I swear that I don’t. I hadn’t set out to do that. I swear to you that I hadn’t meant for that to happen. Not ever.”

I’d had this secret crush on Callan that I hadn’t told anyone about. I’d always thought that if I had met Callan first, then I wouldn’t have fallen for Robbie.

I saw Callan with other girls, and he was nice to them. If he’d been the same way with me, I had no idea how things would’ve turned out for me and Robbie.

Callan had charm and charisma. Robbie had a solid heart, full of love and commitment. I loved Robbie. But at times, I yearned for Callan. And that was why I had never blamed Callan for what had happened that night after Robbie went to his bedroom, leaving us alone in the den.

I’d had more than enough liquid courage, plus I was sort of shell-shocked by Robbie’s leaving. The two of those things combined had made it easy to make the first move. It only took leaning in a bit, biting my lower lip slightly, and then sighing. And that’s when Callan caught my lips with the most savage kiss I’d ever had.

I’d made love with Robbie before. But I’d had animal-passion-s*x with Callan. And, in the end, I was left with a baby in my teenage womb. A baby who would always be known as Robbie Winslow’s son. And that was how it was going to stay.

“We were drunk teens,” I said with a laugh, picking up my beer and taking a long drink to try and smooth out my mind and body. “And we were both reeling over Robbie’s leaving. And where he was going. And if we would ever see him again. So, we were both vulnerable. Like you said, at least he never had to know that his best friend and his girl betrayed him. And no one ever has to know about that. What we did was a terrible mistake. I think we’re lucky that we’re the only two people who know about it. I regret it to this day.”

His eyes were on the bottle in my hand. There was no expression on his face. And then he said, “It wasn’t a mistake.” His eyes moved to meet mine. “I never regretted doing that with you, Sage. And, to be honest, I had no idea that you regretted what we did. I had no idea why you never called me after Robbie died. I wanted to be there for you. And I needed you too. I needed you to help me understand why he had to die. I needed to talk to someone who loved him as much as I did.”

“And where would that have left us, Callan?” I said quietly. I knew exactly what would’ve happened. And then we would’ve looked like the assholes we truly were. “There are many reasons why I left town so soon after getting the news that Robbie was dead. And you were one of them. I knew what would happen if I stayed.”

His brows arched and his mouth slightly ajar, he whispered, “You and me might have happened. We can’t be sure about that. But we can be sure that me and you won’t happen in the future.” He downed the rest of the beer then got up and walked away without looking back.

The pain in my heart was nearly unbearable. Every instinct in me told me to run after him and tell him that I was lying about having regretted that night.

That night had given me more than I knew I’d even wanted. And I wouldn’t give that night back for all the money in the world.

But Callan can never know that.