Tomorrow may never come

Sidetracked

Two day after, I was taking a break from my classes and work.  As it was a weekend, I felt that I should do something about Kyle's call since I have the time.  So I called him and told him to meet with me at the precinct.

I picked up a simple shirt with ripped jeans and pinned up my hair in a ponytail.  I planned to go to the gym afterwards to start my self defense class.  I picked up the answering machine as I was eating the breakfast I made, thinking there might be any messages from my missing parents or sister.  But none of them were.  The messages were all from Tamara reminding me of our study session for the day.  It seemed she wanted to meet me up at the pizza parlor after whatever the heck I was doing.  Her words not mine.

I smirked at that.  Even after two day, I find her a very entertaining companion.  The three of us were becoming the talk of the school.  Peter, the nerdy honor student who managed to make his first cupcake which was, according to the home ed teacher, was the bomb but was actually the product of my constant badgering, Tamara, also a nerdy student who managed to snag the fastest record in track and field which was a first for her since the previous record was held by yours truly and me, the previously unknown girlfriend of the football team's captain who had single handed shot down the said captain and became the hottest student on campus.  Of course, that is the opinion of both Peter and Tamara which I never put any belief on to.  I was just content that most of my projects were being completed and maybe, by the end of the week, be nonexistent.

Once I was done with the dishes, I picked up my gym bag and locked the door.  I walked outside towards the bike that I uncovered when I was cleaning the garage a while ago.  I just knew my annoying sister bought this because none of us can really afford to buy a car let alone a motorbike.  But I was thankful that she has this bicycle which would make the coming and going to school and work be a lot easier.  After securing my gym bag onto the bike's basket, I pumped my legs off on the bike and let the air slap my cheeks at the speed I was going.  I  arrived at the precinct just as Kyle came barreling in his red fire truck.  I parked my bike by the police station and attached the chain onto the lock to keep my bike secure.  I smirked at Kyle when he came down from the truck, his smile was sheepish.  I followed him into the station and we both made our way to Sgt. Harris' desk.  The last time we have seen each other was at the hospital when they took my statement.  As mush as I want to put this behind me, I knew that this was part of what I am and what I will become.  I cannot just let go of what my sister did although I was taught to forgive and forget.  I even tried to excused her behavior as something to be forgiven for blood is thicker than water.  

I mulled over at the thoughts racing in my head.

Should I just let it go?  She is my sister after all.

But her intent was not between siblings, it was as if I was not a sister to her.

I was given the responsibility to take care of her.  Was it not enough?  Why did she betray me?  What did I do wrong?

To some, my actions might be constricting but the love of a sister should be what I must do.

I thought long and hard of how am I going to do this.  What should I do when I get my hands on my sister?  I am still wondering on what to do.

"Good morning, Miss Dela Roux.  We are ready when you are."  Sgt. Harris greeted us as she stood up and directed us into a room with a big glass window.  We entered the room and were surprised to see what is beyond it.  So this was an interrogation room.  The perpetrators were lined up on the other side.  My eyes landed on the three persons who I clearly remember.

You like that, b***h?  Scream for me.

I knew you liked it like that.  Come on give me more.

Don't hate us, girl.  You were just a dumb f**k.

I averted my eyes.  I don't want to remember.  I can feel my skin turning clammy as the images started to clamor inside my brain.  I placed my hands onto my arms.  I tried to fight back, the bruises on my arms were attested to that.  They made fun of my feeble attempts.  I can still hear their grunts, the pounding, the pain.  If only I had a time warp, then I would never have gone to that house.  I would never have lost my virginity, my dignity and my self respect.  I would just be a contented student with nothing to worry about.

"If you're uncomfortable, we can do this some other time."  Sgt. Harris said in a kindly manner.

I looked at the police officer and at the lineup of criminals.

Courage is not the absence of fear.

I thought long and hard about all the things I should do once I found these men.  I remembered all the vows I made about this day.  It was this moment that I was waiting for.  Should I lay down and let fear beat me up with things that I have regretted.

With a sigh, I looked at those men behind the glass.  I looked at them in the eyes even though I knew that they could not see me or hear what I am about to say.  I will find a way to move on with life and not look back over my shoulder, thinking I might be assaulted by these men.  Men admire me and look at me as a woman not as a plaything.  I do not need to remember the way these men treated me, that is not what I must become.  I will rise up and I won't fail myself another time.

"No. I'm fine."  I answered her.